How charming.

Pugsley: What's a "chippewa"?

Gomez: It's an old Indian word.

Wednesday: It means "orphan".

Gomez: Fresh air...

The scent of pine...

Morticia: Wednesday...

Look at all of the other children.

Their freckles, their bright little eyes, their eco-friendly smiles.

Help them.

Amanda: Hi! I'm Amanda Buckman.

Why are you dressed like that?

Wednesday: Like what?

Amanda: Like you're going to a funeral.

Why are you dressed like somebody died?

Wednesday: Wait.

Don: Hi!

Don Buckman.

Isn't this place something else?

Very exclusive.

Gomez: Really? Don: Oh yeah,

Kid has to be extra special to get in here.

Gifted, exceptional...

Our Amanda's already skipped two grades.

How bout your boy?

Gomez: Probation!

Ellen: We just love Chippewa.

Amanda couldn't wait, it's all she talked about!

She's got a whole new wardrobe.

And this little lady?

Morticia: Oh, Wednesday's at that very special age when a girl has only one thing on her mind.

Ellen: Boys?

Wednesday: Homicide.

*whistle blowing*

Gary: Attention!

Hey, listen up, everybody!

I'm Gary Granger!

Becky: And I'm Becky Martin-Granger!

*applause*

We're the owners and directors here at Camp Chippewa-

America's foremost facility for

privileged young adults!

Becky: And we're all here to learn, to grow,

And to just plain have fun!

Gary: Cause that's what being privleged is all about!

*applause*

*girls screaming with glee*

*kids cheering and being loud*

Joel: Mom, I- I don't think I like it here...

Ms. Glicker: Oh, stop already, do you know how dirty you are?

Mr. Glicker: *disinterested* Selma, please, leave him alone.

Joel: I can't breathe!

Ms. Glicker: Oh, stop it Joel, please, now stand up...

Mr. Glicker: This is why he's sick all the time.

*Joel's parents arguing as romantic music plays*

Debbie: Everyone at the ball turned and stared at Cinderella...

"Who is that beautiful woman?" Everyone asked.

Even Prince Charming noticed the new arrival.

"Who are you?" he asked Cinderella.

*door creaking*

"My name's Cinderella," she said to the Prince,

"Could you tell me...

Who is that man over by the punch bowl?

That fascinating man...

That oddly sensual man...

That man who makes me quiver under my bodice...

That bald man?"

Fester: She's driving me wild!

Gomez: Who? Fester: Debbie!

Even the sound of her name... "Debbie"...

Isn't it beautiful?

She makes me think of vital chemicals...

Gomez: Truly, Fester, has it finally happened at long last?

Fester: I don't know, I think so!

All these years, I've watched you and Morticia...

Through windows, doorways, keyholes...

I've been so happy for you!

But I have to confess, I've been jealous too!

I've dreamed that sometime, maybe there might be someone for me...?

Gomez: There's Thing.

Fester: I know, I know...

But I want more!

Legs, elbows, a head...

Gomez: Two legs?

Fester: Dare I ask Debbie to dinner?

What if she says no?

WHAT IF SHE SAYS YES?

Oh, Gomez, if I asked her, would you come?

You and Morticia?

Gomez: Of course.

*whistle blows*

Gary: Lifesaving!

Now, I know we're all top-notch little swimmers...

But now we get to show are stuff and earn those certificates!

Hey, how bout our first little pair of lifesaving buddies?

Amanda? Wednesday?

Amanda: Is that your bathing suit?

Wednesday: Is that your overbite?

Gary: Now, one of you gets to be the drowning victim,

And the other one gets to be our lifesaver!

Amanda: I'll be the victim!

Wednesday: All your life.

Amanda: I'm going to be an actress.

Gary: Brava!

Now Amanda, jump in, swim out a few yards, and start drowning.

Amanda: *badly acting* Help me!

Help me!

I'm... drowning!

Help me!

I'm... DYING!

Wednesday: I can't swim.