-Welcome back to the Trump News Network.

Nothing but facts and some lies.

Everyone's talking about how the Democrats want to impeach me,

and I think it's very unfair. I think it's very unfair.

I think it's very unfair.

Very unfair.

So, now everyone wants to know how I feel, but, really,

my advisor and favorite Halloween decoration

Kellyanne Conway said it -- She said it best.

-He's amused. He thinks it's funny.

He's amused.

-She's right. I'm amused.

[ Laughter ]

-I'm amused. That's how I look when I'm amused.

I'm amused because, with me out of the office,

you'd be left with the world's most diabolical

little saltine cracker, Mike Pence.

And I thought that hilarious.

But he -- Wait a second.

Wait a second.

I'm getting word on my very real earpiece

that we've just received an exclusive video statement

from the whistleblower himself.

Let's roll the clip.

-Hi, everyone. It's me, the whistleblower.

I just wanted to let you all know that I made a huge mistake

when I blew my whistle.

Donald Trump is totally innocent.

He didn't mean to call anyone.

If anything, it was about Don.

So if I could go back,

I'd just erase this whole complaint thing,

because once again, I am innocent -- he is innocent.

He is innocent.

-Wow! There you have it, America.

I guess I'm off the hook after all.

Next, in old kooky man news, Joe Biden was very mean to me

in an interview -- in an interview recently.

Very mean to me. He was very mean to me.

And he was very nasty. [ Laughter ]

He was very nasty and very mean.

He was very mean to me and very nasty.

[ Laughter ]

Very mean. Take a look at this.

-You should be looking at Trump.

Trump's doing this because he knows I'll beat him like a drum.

-Wow. [ Laughter ]

Those are some tough words coming from a tough man,

but let's see how tough he looks

when spaghetti is shooting out of his eyes.

-You should be looking at Trump.

Trump's doing this because he knows I'll beat him like a drum.

-Oh, yeah. You got "pasghetti'd."

[ Air horn blares ]

And, finally, in tech news, the new iOS 13 was just released,

and there are a lot of great features.

Check out these features on this phone.

[ Cellphone rings ] It's kind of unbelievable.

Forgot to turn this off. Stop this bit.

[ Ringing continues ] How do we get out of this bit?

Let's get to the next story, please, please, please.

-Because we are coming to you live from New York City.

I'm Jimmy Fallon, and this is "The Tonight Show"!

Let's go, baby! [ Cheers and applause ]

♪♪

-Live, from 30 Rockefeller Plaza,

here in New York City, it's "The Tonight Show,"

starring Jimmy Fallon!

And now here's your host, Jimmy Fallon!

-♪ Hey, hey hey hey ♪ -♪ Hey, hey hey hey ♪

-♪ Hey, hey hey, hey ♪