[ Cheers and applause ] -Thank you.

Thank me. Thank me very much.

You're all very happy that I'm here at the United Nations.

I mean, wow.

Just look at all of the room full of

diverse cultures and ethnicities.

Seriously, it's like the scariest college brochure

I've ever seen.

But I know what you're all thinking --

it's so great to be here with me

for the last 4 to 6 hours of my presidency.

Who knew?

You make one phone call blackmailing a foreign leader,

and everyone acts like you

made one phone call blackmailing a foreign leader.

I guess it's like the old saying.

Collude once, shame on you.

Collude twice, why not collude a third time?

But now it looks like my whistle's been blown,

and not in the good way.

It was a low-down blow-down.

And now I'll have to face off against America's

least-fun grandma, Nancy Pelosi.

That's right -- Nancy's gone totally Ukraine in the membrane.

But, luckily, she has no evidence against me --

only calls and transcripts and the fist pump

I just gave the Ukrainian president on my way up here.

Hey, what's up, buddy?

But unfairly for me, Ukraine isn't my only

big no-no this week.

Apparently, people are still mad because I left

yesterday's climate summit after just 15 minutes.

But, honestly, folks, how do you expect me to believe

in global warming when they just filmed

the second "Frozen" movie?

[ Cheers and applause ]

I mean, seriously, let it go.

But, anyway, back to "The Witch Hunt: Season 3."

I just want to -- All my supporters --

I want them all to just relax, okay?

Because as hard as people try to impeach me,

I'll always be one step ahead of them,

trying to impeach me harder.

But, anyway, in collusion...

[ Cheers and applause ]

...America's the greatest country on Earth,

Ukraine owes me a serious fave,

and you might call it climate change,

but I call it Hot Girl Summer.

Oh, and one more thing.

"The Tonight Show" is coming to you live from New York City!

Let's start the show, baby! Come on!

[ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪