Yeah. 4

It's beautiful! Look at those mountains! 5

Yeah! 6

It is absolutely gorgeous here! 7

Yeah, it is. 8

I'm so excited 9

about America getting this. 10

I really do think this is gonna be great for us. 11

This is an amazingly beautiful land you have, 12

and for America to own it, for it to be part of America, 13

is very exciting. 14

Where are we now Vivi? 15

We are at the old place that's new, no... 16

The old place? The old place? 17

You're the expert on Greenland? 18

What is this building right here? 19

It's the old umm... 20

Everything is the old this and the old that! 21

That is famous church is it not? 22

Yes. Yes. 23 00:00:47.760 --> 00:00:48.930 line:15% It's a hospital. 24

An old hospital. 25

Yeah, OK, let's just assume that everything is old. 26

Do people often swim here? 27

People swim here. 28

It's very cold though, right? 29

Very cold, but it's good for the body. 30

It's not good for the testicles. 31

If I went in water this cold 32

my testicles would go somewhere up inside, 33

I think my shoulder, would be up here in my shoulder. 34

To pleasure myself I need to get up here. 35

It got weird fast. 36

Yeah. (giggling) 37

Vivi tell me, 38

what is that marking mean on top of that roof C11? 39 00:01:16.830 --> 00:01:19.530 line:15% It's the marking from World War II . 40

World War II? Yeah. 41 00:01:20.794 --> 00:01:25.280 line:15% So the helicopters could see what town they were in. 42

Ah, so the planes coming in, 43

if they saw a C11 they could know which part of... 44 00:01:29.278 --> 00:01:30.453 line:15% Helicopters, yeah. 45

I don't think there were helicopters in World War II. 46 00:01:32.260 --> 00:01:33.093 line:15% What? 47

Nah, they came along in the Korean War. 48

OK. Gotcha! 49

Some guide you turned out to be. 50

(laughing) 51

So in World War II when Lime Scooters 52

were on their way to Germany to attack, 53

they could tell by the C11 what's happening. 54

Vivi, this is a famous statue, what's going on here? 55 00:01:52.390 --> 00:01:53.940 line:15% It's the Mother of the Sea. 56

What is the story here? 57

She is the Mother of the Sea, 58

and she don't like trash in the sea, 59

so when there's trash in the sea, 60

she tells all the creatures to come down to her. 61

I see an inter-species orgy. 62

From seal, 63

on bear, on woman, on dude action. 64

That's what I'm getting. 65

And then there is carp down here. 66

It's really being excluded from the fun. 67

Look at him; he's not too happy about it. 68

"Who's mating with me? I walk alone." 69

I think Trump would be more interested 70

after he sees this statue. That's all I'll say. 71

(audience laughing) 72

What are we doing for dinner tonight? What's the plan? 73

Are we going to a restaurant? 74

You were gonna take me someplace. What's the idea? 75

To my place. 76

Seriously, are you inviting me to your house? 77

Yeah. That's so nice! 78

Oh, wow! This is beautiful. 79

We're about to enjoy a true Greenlandic meal. 80

Describe these dishes to me if you will. 81

What do we have here? 82

This is just lamb. 83

That's lamb. 84

This is Muktuk. 85

What is that? 86

Whale skin. 87

That's whale skin. 88

Fat from a seal. 89

Fat from a seal. Yes. 90

Did it go in for a liposuction they took the fat 91

and the seal then went on to date, 92

happily with the seals? 93

Yeah, why not? 94

(audience laughing) 95

This right here? 96

Dry seal. 97

Dry seal. 98

Yeah. 99

If I were to throw that into a bathtub, 100

would a seal just emerge? 101

No. (laughing) 102

Okay. Silly question I suppose. 103

Yes. (laughing) 104

It's just how my imagination works. 105

This is dry cut. 106

Yeah. 107

Okay. There are two of them. 108

Oh these are two! Yeah! 109

I thought this was a freak of nature. 110

It looked to me like you had accidentally killed 111

one of the only two-headed fish in the world. 112

You want some lamb? 113

Do I have to cut it? 114

Well we're gonna cut it, here you go. 115

That's your lamb. 116

Want my slice of seal fat? 117

It's really tough to cut! 118

Use your fingers to grab it. 119

I'm not getting in there with my fingers. 120

That's seal fat! 121

Can you do it? I'm scared. 122

It's moving and it's doing things. 123

Oh my God... 124

Man. 125

Didn't the seal ever try a salad? 126

(Vivi laughing) 127

This is a true, true Greenlandic meal. 128

Why're you shaking your head "No"? 129

I can't eat that much. 130

Well you don't have to eat it all. 131

When this country becomes part of America, 132

we'll be wasting a lot of food. 133

That's what we do in America. 134

We throw food away. 135

(laughing menacingly) 136

(audience laughing) 137

Do you mind if I say a quick prayer? 138

Yeah... 139

Dear God, 140

may Greenland soon become part of the United States, 141

whether they want to or not. 142

Amen. 143

(audience laughter) 144

Tell me, what are some of the traditions 145

of a Greenlandic meal? 146

What kinds of things are discussed? 147

I wanna fit right in. 148

Seamlessly. 149

The weather. 150

The weather? Yeah. 151

Okay, let me guess how that goes. 152

Pretty cold out there, huh? 153

(laughter) 154

Hey, kids, you have a good day at school today? 155

What'd you learn? 156 00:05:03.970 --> 00:05:05.660 line:15% Nothing. Nothing. 157

You're gonna love America. 158

(audience laughs) 159

What did you study in school today? 160 00:05:12.786 --> 00:05:13.619 line:15% Math. 161 00:05:13.619 --> 00:05:14.713 line:15% Math? Do you like math? 162 00:05:15.640 --> 00:05:17.290 line:15% Not when I can't figure it out. 163 00:05:17.290 --> 00:05:18.650 line:15% Yeah, I had a hard time, too. 164

When I couldn't figure out math, 165

I became very angry and frustrated. 166

And then the other children would beat me with sticks. 167

(audience laughs) 168

A very painful part of my- 169

Why are you guys laughing at that? 170

That's not funny. 171

I was beaten- (children laughing) 172

No, no, that's not funny! 173

When I struggled with math as a child I was beaten! 174

Beaten with sticks- (child laughs) 175

Is it discussed in school? 176

President Trump buying the uh... 177 00:05:42.148 --> 00:05:43.110 line:15% Yes. 178

They talk about it in school? 179 00:05:44.400 --> 00:05:45.233 line:15% Every day. 180

And what do the kids think? 181

What do the young people think? 182 00:05:48.835 --> 00:05:50.630 line:15% It's just a big joke to everyone. 183 00:05:50.630 --> 00:05:52.663 line:15% A big joke to everybody? Yeah. 184

Really? 185

Yeah. 186

Well it's not a big joke. That's why I'm here. 187

You think I flew 6 thousand miles for a big joke? 188

I think that's exactly what I did. 189

(audience laughter)