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  • Tonight, I want to talk about the Amazon.

  • The one that's losing half its assets, but not to divorce.

  • When I was growing up,

  • I heard a lot about how the Amazon rainforest needed saving.

  • This is the rainforest in 1900, 

  • and this is the rainforest today.

  • Who caused  all this damage to the rainforest?

  • Unfortunately, people did.

  • The rain forest. The tropical rainforest. ♪

  • Unfortunately, some don't understand ♪

  • Like people coming in And clearing the land

  • Tragically this devastation  Doesn't have to happen

  • That's why I'm on the mic here rappin' ♪

  • For the record

  • I am absolutely fine destroying the rainforest

  • as long as that guy lives there.

  • Look, I  always thought that was  the weirdest PSA I had ever seen,

  • until I saw the one with Kevin Spacey.

  • I am the rainforest.

  • I watched them grow up here.

  • They've left, but they always come back.

  • Yes, they always come back.

  • That PSA aged so poorly,

  • Kevin Spacey doesn't even think it's hot anymore.

  • I know.

  • Hey, you didn't think you'd see him on Netflix again, did you?

  • They didn't even reshoot with Christopher Plummer.

  • You had no idea.

  • Now, the reason  you probably stopped seeing PSAs

  • about the Amazon and saving the rainforest

  • is because we actually started saving the rainforest.

  • Between 2004 and 2012, deforestation plunged 84%.

  • Yes. It's shocking. Humans actually  stepped up and did the right thing.

  • But let's not give ourselves too much credit.

  • We didn't save the rainforest as much as we didn't fully kill it

  • but just like Nazis  and high-waisted jeans,

  • deforestation is making a comeback.

  • In the last year aloneAmazon deforestation has jumped 13.7%,

  • a loss of nearly 1.2 billion trees.

  • Now, deforestation rates are on the rise,

  • and this couldn't be happening  at a worse time for the planet

  • because when it comes to climate change, we are, and I cannot stress this enough...

  • fucked.

  • Dire new warnings  about the effects of climate change.

  • Intense heat, waves, storms.

  • Deadly wildfires, droughts.

  • Ocean dead zones.

  • People are dying. They are dying.

  • You know Fox is gonna use that against her.

  • They'll be like, "Oh, really? You're talking about death,

  • even though you're still aliveSuch a hypocrite.

  • Really, AOC?"

  • Now, look, we have to stop messing with the rainforest.

  • The Amazon is home to 10% of all species on Earth.

  • It absorbs 25% of the carbon emissions  captured by the world's forests.

  • The Amazon also produces massive amounts of oxygen and water vapor,

  • which serves as the Earth's cooling system

  • which is why the Amazon is often called...

  • The lungs of the Earth

  • The lungs of the Earth.

  • The lungs of the Earth.

  • I don't know if you know this, but every part of Earth

  • is actually a body part.

  • The Amazon is the lungs. Canada is the forehead.

  • Iceland is the third nipple. Malta's the skin tag.

  • England is the birthmark. Italy is not the foot.

  • Australia is the foot.

  • Italy's the bladder. Germany's the benign tumor.

  • North Korea's the malignant tumor.

  • Argentina is the sinus, and Fiji is the prostate.

  • Going there is simply  the greatest pleasure

  • you will ever experience.

  • The Amazon  touches nine different countries,

  • but to really understand why deforestation is on the rise,

  • we have to look at the country responsible for most of it.

  • Brazil.

  • Now, there are a lot of great things about Brazil.

  • Carnival, Neymar, some percentage of Hailey Baldwin

  • and the Brazilian wax, which is another kind of deforestation.

  • But it's also very painful. Over the last five decades,

  • almost 20% of the Amazon  has been destroyed.

  • Even though Brazil has laws to protect the environment,

  • those laws aren't always enforced because of insane amounts of political 

  • and corporate greed, and I know as an American,

  • we should probably shut the fuck up  when it comes to the moral high ground.

  • Americans lecturing Brazil  about corruption

  • is like Steve Bannon launching a skin care line.

  • It's just like take care of...

  • your own shit before you...

  • dive into the whole face...

  • thing.

  • But corruption in Brazil is truly  on a whole 'nother level.

  • Brazil's last three presidents  were steeped in scandals.

  • Dilma Rousseff, impeached for financial misconduct.

  • Michel Temer, charged with corruption.

  • And Lula da Silva, currently in jail  for stealing DVDs fromRedbox.

  • I'm just kidding, corruption.

  • And we haven't even gotten  to Brazil's massive bribery

  • and money laundering scandal called Operation Car Wash.

  • Now I'll let Fareed Zakaria, aka the original brown John Oliver, explain.

  • The biggest corruption scandal ever anywhere in the world,

  • $788 million in bribes to various officials,

  • five former Brazilian presidents, nearly one out of three cabinet ministers

  • and almost one out of three senators have been indicted or investigated.

  • This is the country the world  is relying on to protect the Amazon.

  • Thank God, America doesn't have that responsibility.

  • Can you imagine if we were in charge of the Amazon?

  • We would probably tear it down and build a headquarters for Amazon.

  • You just see a bunch of howler monkeys

  • driving UPS trucks  with Kindles in their hands.

  • Now, unfortunately, things are going to get a lot worse 

  • because of Brazil's current president, Jair Bolsonaro.

  • He's a former army captain  who answers the question,

  • "What if Carl Sagan  wasn't properly embalmed?"

  • And he's made it very clear

  • where he stands on the environment.

  • Mr. Bolsonaro campaigned to make Brazil great again,

  • to kick-start it's struggling economy.

  • And he sees the Amazon as Brazil's cash cow.

  • He may open up vast sections  of the Amazon rainforest to mining.

  • He said he's gonna pardon people who have been fined for deforestation.

  • "We don't owe the world anythingsounds like the chorus to an Eminem song.

  • But Bolsonaro's stance on the environment doesn't even scratch the surface

  • of his insanity.

  • Jesus.

  • Bolsonaro sounds like every last comment before someone is blocked on Twitter.

  • This is why he's often referred to  as the "Trump of the Tropics."

  • So think of Trumpbut with even more tiki torches.

  • Bolsonaro also loves Twitter, and his tweets are insane.

  • The president, who tweeted a video apparently filmed at a carnival event,

  • showing one man urinating  on another man in a sexual act.

  • On the plus side,

  • at least Brazil's seen  their president's pee tape.

  • Now, eventually, "Golden Shower President" started trending online.

  • Bolsonaro then tweeted out,  "What is a golden shower?"

  • I love how there isn't a Portuguese word  for "golden shower."

  • Like, you ever been to another country  and then you watch TV and they're like...

  • [speaks gibberish] "Macaulay Culkin."

  • You're like, "Something's happening  with Macaulay Culkin."

  • Now, as dangerous as  Bolsonaro's policies are for the Amazon,

  • that danger is fundamentally being driven by agribusiness,

  • which is the industry that produces the food that we eat.

  • Agribusiness accounts for almost a quarter of Brazil's economy

  • and is one of the biggest drivers  of illegal deforestation.

  • Brazil is the world's largest exporter  of sugar, coffee, soybeans, orange juice 

  • and most importantly, beef.

  • The Amazon is home to millions of species,

  • and the biggest threat to the rainforest itself is this one.

  • Cattle ranching is responsible  for up to 80% of deforestation.

  • And to turn the rainforest into grassland, they don't just cut it down.

  • They burn it down.

  • It's all about creating new pastures.

  • The Amazon rainforest is being burned down and destroyed.

  • Elizeu takes pictures of the tragedy

  • in order to tell the authorities  what's going on here.

  • Anything that can still move tries  to escape the inferno.

  • No no no, don't worry. That rat goes on  to become a chef in Paris.

  • It's beautiful.

  • Brazil's beef industry is a huge driver of Amazon deforestation.

  • And it's dominated by a single company called JBS.

  • They're the largest  meat processing company in the world.

  • Last yearJBS made $46 billion.

  • That's a double what McDonald's made.

  • Even more surprising, Brazil only accounts for 24% of their revenue.

  • Their U.S. division generates 76%.

  • That's $35.2 billion.

  • That's right, America. Once again, we are fucking shit up.

  • Look, if it's terrible, we're probably in the mix.

  • We're like the raisins of international relations.

  • Like, the rest of the world is like, "We fucking hate raisins."

  • And we're like, "Raisins are essential to democracy.

  • Raisins have to be in everything, raisins need to be in Afghanistan

  • for three plus decades."

  • JBS also happens to be one of the most corrupt companies in the world,

  • which isn't shocking because  for a long time,

  • it was run by Joesley and Wesley Batista.

  • The Batista brothers. Now, come on.

  • Their names are Joesley and Wesley.

  • They look like dudes on a yacht  Liam Neeson has to rescue girls from.

  • The Batista brothers are possibly two  of the most corrupt people on Earth,

  • and they have history  with the Bolsonaro administration.

  • Bolsonaro's current chief of staff has admitted to taking money from JBS,

  • and in the past, the woman who is now  Bolsonaro's Minister of Agriculture

  • gave JBS tax breaks while also doing  personal business with them.

  • The fact that senior members  of the Bolsonaro administration

  • are closely linked to JBS is a huge liability

  • because the last president that got entangled with the Batista Brothers

  • was Michel Temer, and it ended horribly.

  • In exchange for no jail time, Joesley Batista strikes a deal,

  • providing information about bribing 1,829 Brazilian politicians.

  • The Batista brothers admitted  to bribing almost 2,000 politicians,

  • spent roughly $150 million just in bribes

  • and agreed to pay a fine of $3.2 billion,

  • which is almost how much Facebook has to pay for destroying democracy.

  • Shouldn't it be, like, more?

  • It should definitely be more. JBS' business practices continue

  • to do environmental damage.

  • They have been accused of buying cattle from illegally deforested land

  • in the Amazon, even though they deny it  and investigators recently arrested

  • Joesley Batista again

  • for allegedly bribing officials at Brazil's agriculture Ministry.

  • If that doesn't make you sicktheir beef just might.

  • JBS bribed Brazilian food inspectors to give passing grades to spoiled meat.

  • And on the U.S. side,

  • their meat isn't any better.

  • A massive ground beef recall  is now expanding.

  • The USDA says the Brazilian companyJBS is now recalling

  • more than 12 million pounds of ground beef shipped to stores across the U.S.

  • This past year,

  • JBS beef and chicken from the U.S. were found to have been contaminated 

  • with hard plastic, rubber and e-coli.

  • All of which  generally cost extra at Chipotle.

  • But even before that,

  • the US had banned all Brazilian beef  imports, including JBS, indefinitely.

  • Do you know how bad your meat has to be  for Americans to notice?

  • We thought Super Size Me  was just a normal movie.

  • No lessons.

  • It actually just made us hungrier.

  • The Amazon has never been more vulnerable.

  • Between political corruption, Bolsonaro's pro-business agenda

  • and the incentives of agribusiness,

  • the Amazon is going to keep burning.

  • But there is some hopeThe strongest blockade

  • against deforestation isn't more regulation or enforcement or fines,

  • it's people.

  • The Javari Valley Indigenous Reserve...

  • eight million hectares of Brazilian Amazon, the size of Austria.

  • It's home to the largest number of non-contacted tribes in the world,

  • photographed only rarely from the air.

  • There are nearly a million  indigenous people in Brazil,

  • and almost half of them live in the rainforest.

  • Research shows that  when indigenous people 

  • have legal and physical protection,

  • so does the rainforest. Now, I know this looks like a map 

  • of the only school of vaccinated kids in Orange County, but...

  • it's actually a time-lapse  of deforestation.

  • The red is loggers and ranchers, and that part right there

  • is protected indigenous land, and the only reason they stop 

  • is because these tribes  are not fucking around.

  • The Guajajara Indians armed and in full camouflage,

  • crouch down for an ambush.

  • These vigilante patrols began six years ago

  • as a way to battle  the region's powerful logging mafia.

  • They call themselves  "The Guardians of the Forest."

  • The Guajajara are one of 305 tribes that have official demarcated land

  • that is legally protected by Brazil's Constitution,

  • but it is still a war for them.

  • And look, I know, deforestation has been on the rise

  • well before Bolsonaro, but no modern Brazilian president 

  • has ever been this hostile  toward the indigenous.

  • I don't know, racism sounds weird to me  when you use the metric system.

  • I mean, if they're like, "Build the wall,

  • one kilometer at a time."

  • I'd be like, I don't...

  • I don't get it.

  • Bolsonaro is not just dog whistling  to his base.

  • He is barking through a megaphone.

  • On the night of Bolsonaro's election  in October,

  • a hospital and a school  on an indigenous reserve

  • were fire-bombed and land invasion, when loggers and ranchers 

  • take indigenous landthat has increased 150%.

  • Protected areas borders  are a thorn in the side of many farmers.

  • They want their cattle  to be able to penetrate the reserve.

  • First of all, I believe in God and then in the words of our President Bolsonaro.

  • He promised we would soon be able  to enter the reserve.

  • The department in charge  of overseeing indigenous lands

  • is an agency called Funai.

  • On Bolsonaro's first day in office, he took that function away from Funai

  • and gave it to the Ministry of Agriculture.

  • Remember? The same government agency  that JBS paid off for years.

  • And even nowBrazil's Agriculture Minister

  • wants to open indigenous land to commercial farming,

  • but indigenous tribes are fighting back  to defend their land,

  • and no one has brought more attention  to the movement in recent years 

  • thannia GuajajaraShe's a prominent activist

  • for indigenous rights  and was the first indigenous woman 

  • in Brazil's history  to run for vice president.

  • So I sat down withnia and her translator

  • to talk about her fight  to protect the Amazon.

  • Here in Americawe've already destroyed  all of our forests,

  • and we raise millions of cows.

  • So do we sound like assholes 

  • when we say, "Hey, Brazil.

  • Don't cut down your trees  and don't raise cows"?

  • But you're saying we're assholes?

  • It's true.

  • Look, we're assholes, all right?

  • I admit it. America, we're assholes.

  • We still haven't given  Captain America a promotion.

  • I mean...

  • What does a guy have to do  to become Major America?

  • Now, fornia and her tribe,

  • protecting their homeland  gets more urgent every day.

  • Last month, tribes from around Brazil  gathered in the capital

  • for an annual march  to protect indigenous rights

  • and take on Bolsonaro's policies.

  • Bolsonaro has escalated the fight  against the indigenous,

  • but in many ways, he's just adding  to a dark chapter of Brazil's history.

  • 519 years after the Portuguese set foot  in Brazil, it's the same fight.

  • On one side, are the people who live on the land

  • and want to protect it.

  • And on the other side are the people  who see the Amazon 

  • as a resource to exploit.

  • Innia's lifetime aloneover 1,400 people 

  • have been murdered in Brazil because of land disputes,

  • but she isn't backing down.

  • nia doesn't just take on Bolsonaro  in real life,

  • she trolls him online, too.

  • How did you get into the meme game?

  • Let me guess, it was your son.

  • I've seen a lot of your memes

  • You have the classic  Pinocchio Bolsonaro meme,

  • you have the golden showers dog  peeing in Bolsonaro's mouth meme,

  • -Sí. -and then, of course, you've got this one.

  • I honestly don't know  what's happening here.

  • So I wanted to help you with your memes.

  • Is that okay?

  • Claro.

  • Okay. So, let me know  what you think of these.

  • This says, "When you're Bolsonaro and you haven't displaced 

  • an indigenous person in eight minutes."

  • This is Bolsonaro right here, and he's getting one of those huge veins in his head.

  • Where he's like...

  • It's like if he doesn't say anything  about indigenous people,

  • he looks constipated.

  • How about this one?

  • "You can't be jailed for corruption

  • if climate change wipes out  all the people."

  • It's all good. This doesn't work. The meme game is a volume business.

  • Everything's not gonna hit. You've seen the girlfriend meme, right?

  • This is the Amazon rainforest.

  • This guy over here, that's the agribusiness  lobby being like, "Oh, damn!"

  • Okay? And this is oxygen,

  • and oxygen's like, "Hello. We're together."

  • What do you think of the meme?

  • All right. How about this?

  • This is Bolsonaro, he's likereally staring at the Amazon.

  • Super creepy.

  • And the girlfriends like, "God, you're such a dick."

  • nia, you posted a photo  of a dog peeing in Bolsonaro's mouth,

  • Alright, Sônia may not like  my memes but...

  • I don't know. I wanted to take a page out  of her playbook.

  • I wanted to find a way

  • to troll Bolsonaro and help at the same time.

  • So we thought, "Why not buy a website?"

  • Obviously, goldenshower.com was long gone.

  • Goldenshowerpresident.com was also taken,

  • probably by Michael Cohen.

  • But we were able to get...

  • goldenshowerpresidente.com.

  • Like, how did Bolsonaro's digital team  not beat us to this?

  • It's just been there the whole time. If you go to goldenshowerpresidente.com,

  • you can donate to organizations that  help protect the Amazon and its people.

  • Remember, it's goldenshowerpresidente,

  • The "e" is very important,

  • because we're trying to help  the rainforest,

  • not get you fired.

Tonight, I want to talk about the Amazon.

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    cyrain に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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