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  • Imagine you arrive at a party, but your friends are nowhere to be seen.


  • So you have two options: the obvious one of staring mindlessly at your phone, or the terrifying one of talking to strangers.


  • Even if you want to reach out, you might worry "what if they don't like me?"

    たとえ声をかけたいと思っても、「嫌われたらどうしよう 」と不安になるかもしれません。

  • "What if I come across as awkward?" "What do I even say to them?”


  • Never fear : recent research suggests that new acquaintances actually like you more than you think, and that talking to strangers can lead to a boost in happiness.


  • But it can be hard to get started! Luckily there are some psychological tips you can use to master small talk.


  • I'm Vanessa and you're watching BrainCraft, where we explore the psychology in your everyday life.


  • First, you've probably experienced the liking gap.


  • In a recent study, researchers paired up two strangers to have a conversation.


  • They asked each person to rate how much they liked their partner and how much they thought their partner liked them.


  • People consistently underestimated how much people liked them and enjoyed their company. Researchers called this "the liking gap."


  • So, try not to worry about what people thinkthey probably like you more than you realize!


  • Though you may still be wondering: How do you actually make small talk? Well, start by asking more questions!

    しかし、あなたはまだ疑問に思っているかもしれません: どうやって世間話をするのか?と疑問に思うかもしれない!

  • People who ask questions during conversation have been rated as more likeable. Questions like "what do you do?" can be pretty dull.


  • Instead, try to get to know the other person by asking: "What do you do for fun?"

    その代わりに、相手のことを知ろうとしましょう: 「趣味は何ですか?」

  • "What's the best thing that's happened to you this year?" Or "What are you looking forward to?"


  • "What excites you?" And remember that it's important to stay engaged in the conversation!


  • Asking follow-up questions is importantthis shows you're actively listening.


  • So, if the person mentions that they like traveling, ask where they've been or where they're going next.


  • In a recent speed-dating study, those who asked more follow-up questions were more likely to get a second date.


  • And give people your full attentionyour actions matter too.


  • Studies have shown that people who texted during a conversation were seen as less polite and attentive, so put your phone away.


  • Now you still might think that making small talk is about as much fun as swimming with sharks.


  • But it can actually have a lot of benefits for your professional and personal life!


  • For example, experts estimate that 3 out of 4 jobs are found through professional networking rather than a job ad.


  • And small talk can actually increase your sense of belonging.


  • Research has found that people report feeling happier when they chat with someone like a bartender or a barista and treated them more like an acquaintance than a stranger.


  • Even though you may think chatting to strangers is unpleasant, people report liking it more than they expected.


  • Just like any other skill, you can improve your small talk if you work at it.


  • Casual interactions can be really positive experiences!


  • So with some practice and these tips, you can enjoy the big benefits of small talk.


Imagine you arrive at a party, but your friends are nowhere to be seen.


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