Today we're going to look at the difference between modest and humble. Yeah this is

one that comes up where students say well what's the difference ? Because they

do seem similar. Let's look at the definition here first. A person who is

modest does not like to brag about their successes, achievements, etc. Even

though they are worthy of doing so. I tend to think of a modest person usually

they tend to be more quiet. Maybe they're uncomfortable talking about themselves

or maybe they're uncomfortable talking about their successes or something like

that. I don't think that they necessarily

think that they are inferior or below. So let's look at the definition for humble. A person who is

humble is not proud and does not believe they are better than others. Even though

to be honest I would be a little careful with this. If a humble person says it and

they actually mean what they say, that is true. But sometimes people just act

humble when they're not really completely humble. But we'll get to that later. All right. Let's

continue here with the note. You know when people are humble they often say things to lower their

status or standing. They will often say they are not special or even inferior in

some way or below in some way. This is one thing about humble. So humble people

often say things to lower themselves. Modest may not actually be saying

anything to lower themselves they tend to be just more quiet. Many people

probably know about that person's achievements.

Maybe other people told them and so in that way , he kind of gets credit. Or maybe he, a modest

person might say," oh well, I don't know. I'm not that big a deal. " But he won't go on about it and he won't

usually lower his status that much. All right let's go on. We often

use the word humble in phrases like in my humble opinion. Yeah this is a common

one, and very clearly you are kind of lowering your

status. If you say in my humble opinion, you're basically saying that you you're

not really an expert at this and perhaps you're not really even qualified to give

your opinion. But you're going to give your opinion anyway. So first you're bringing

yourself down. That's what we mean when people that are humble tend to do that.

Or welcome to my humble abode. Yes well sometimes it's actually meant

sarcastically or in humor but if you if you really mean it the real way. It means

that your house is not so special. It's not so fancy. Well welcome anyway, but you

know it's not that beautiful sorry. Sorry I'm not richer and have a nice more

expensive beautiful house for you to stay in. So that's what it kind of means.

Again you're lowering your status. All right this is something else to really

note here. Yeah, in Asian society being humble is often considered a good quality. For

example, I remember an old story where a Korean man invites a Westerner to his

home but he added that his wife was not so beautiful and her cooking was not so

good. So come even though, I'm sorry my wife's not so beautiful and her cooking is not so good. . I don't know if you did this in the West. a Westerner, the

husband might get in trouble if the wife found out about that. But this sometimes this is in sort of

Asian culture. It might be in Korea, it might be in Japan , it might be in China . Where this sort of idea comes through. Of course when the Westerner arrived at the house, the Korean man's wife was very beautiful and her

cooking was very delicious. So now if the, and I think in this story the Westerner

did compliment the Korean man. Oh what are you talking about. Your wife is beautiful and the cooking is good. And if

they do this, actually in Asian society this is a good way that the host will

gain face. By saying that. Oh wow she's really, what are you talking about ? You

crazy so it's kind of a way of setting up a compliment and it's kind of a way

of yeah basically doing it that way. All right and and the other one that I

always remember there was an old movie in the 1990s

called The Joy Luck Club. About four , the lives of four Asian women. But I remember

there was one scene where there was the, one of the Asian girls, she invites her

Western boyfriend home and she tried to prepare him she tried to tell him a lot

of stuff of what he should do and what he shouldn't do, And she thought she had prepared him

well. But you know, you can't say everything. It's hard to let

everybody know everything about culture in you know an hour or something like

that. while trying to prepare them. But when he arrived at the house and of

course he's, it was also during the meal. The mother comes out and the

mother also , you know to be honest I think in this case she was actually

acting humble. I think she knew that this dish that she made was very delicious and a lot of people had complimented her before.

But when she's serving the dish out there you know in front of the Westerner

there, she said, " Oh but my cooking is really not so good and but you please please try

it. " Now of course the the Western boyfriend who really was a nice guy in

the movie, but he didn't know He actually took her at her word. He really thought

that that's what she meant. And he says, " Oh no, it's not that bad it just needs some ketchup and he poured ketchup all over it. All the other guests where like ( making shocked noises) because they knew that that's not

what he was supposed to do. He was almost kind of insulting her , he was supposed to

taste it and again say what are you talking about ? This is the best dish like this I've ever had. This is so good,

and then of course she would gain face. So so this is what I'm saying you know

sometimes when people are humble I don't know maybe some people are actually

truly humble. They really have that opinion. Sometimes people just act humble So and

again when you are humble usually you will say things to lower your status. And

modest, they don't tend, they they don't brag but they don't tend to talk about

themselves. They usually feel kind of uncomfortable talking about their

accomplishments or bragging about themselves. Okay anyway, I hope you got it. I

hope it's clear. Thank you for your time. Bye-bye.