♪ And life is just a chain ♪

♪ Of moments spent ♪

♪ A thousand hellos and goodbyes ♪

- [Thanos] So and so.

Are you talking to me?

Are you talking to me?

If I can get my hands on five more

Titan Hero FX toys,

I can destroy half of humanity.

♪ Until the world is you ♪

- [Man] Web shooters engaged.

Deploying wet wings.

- Ah!

- Spider-Man.

I need your toy.

- Who are you?

- I am Thanos.

And I need to collect all six of the Titan Hero toys.

- Well, you're not having this one.

(Thanos laughs evilly)

- You obviously don't know who I am.

I am Thanos.

And if I say I want that Titan Hero toy,

then that's what I'm going to get.

(grunts)

(laughs evilly)

- [Man] Hello, we are not available now.

Please leave your name and phone number after the beep.

We will return your call.

(beep)

(whooshing)

(mysterious Midwestern music)

- Give me the Falcon Titan Hero toy.

- I don't think so, you overgrown blueberry.

- Listen, Falcon,

the end of humanity is almost here.

Just give me the Falcon figure.

- No way!

(whooshes)

(Thanos grunts)

- [Boy] Hey!

Take on someone your own size, Thanos!

- But I'm bigger than you.

- Bigger, hypothetically speaking.

- What does hypothetically mean?

- It means I'm Captain America.

And I'm going to take back those toys.

- No, you're not.

But I'm going to take yours!

(thud)

Ow!

- Ha ha ha!

- That really hurt!

I mean, really, really hurt.

What on earth is that shield made of?

- Vibranium and steel alloy.

It's really good, isn't it?

- Very strong stuff.

Can I have a look?

I love the slick design and the colouring.

- Thank you.

- It's supposed to be iconic.

- Hey, guys, I'm sorry to interrupt,

but you're supposed to be taking the Captain America toy,

and you're supposed to be saving me.

(Thanos yells)

Captain, he's so strong.

- He looks like he had steroids

but put them all in the wrong places.

(phone chimes)

- Hello?

- Hey, Tony, guess who this is.

- I don't know, Loki?

- Guess again.

- This is a short parody movie.

We don't have time for this, just tell me.

- It's Captain America!

- No way.

I thought you weren't talking to me

after the whole Team Iron Man thing.

- I wasn't but it's a serious situation

with a guy called Thanos trying to destroy

half of humanity.

- Oh no, oh no.

I guess that's why Thor is on his way to me

with some special visitors.

- Tony, we need a plan.

- Don't worry, I'll think of something.

(jaunty guitar music)

- Tony, let me introduce you

to the Guardians of the Galaxy.

- The what of the galaxy?

- We're the Guardians of the Galaxy,

and we're here to help you fight Thanos.

- What?

Tell me his name again.

- Thanos.

- What's he doing?

- Drax, what are you doing?

- I'm practising my sneaking ability.

- Wow.

(Thanos roars)

- Apparently this Thanos guy

now has Black Widow's toy.

- So which toy is left?

- My Iron Man toy.

- What of this Iron Man?

- That's me.

But it's okay.

It's in a secret place.

- What kind of secret place?

- Vision has it.

- Well, we'd better go and protect it.

- It's fine, I'll deal with it.

(jazzy music)

- Doctor Strange.

- Tony Stark here from the Avengers.

I need your help to protect Vision.

- Does that mean I'm an Avenger now?

- No.

- Well, then why don't you just send some Avengers

to protect Vision?

- Okay, I'll send an Avenger to accompany you.

- Okay, cool.

Who will it be, Thor, War Machine, Hulk?

- Just wait and see.

- When I'm done,

half humanity will still exist.

Perfectly balanced.

As all things should be.

(heroic music)

- Hello.

- Hi, Tony Stark sent me here to protect you.

- Why didn't he send an Avenger?

- He did apparently.

He should be here any minute.

(whooshes)

- Ha ha, I was with you all along.

- Ant Man, but you're not even in Avengers: Infinity War.

- But this is Gorgeous Movie version.

They can do whatever they want.

- Oh, yeah, I guess that's true.

- Doctor Strange, you need to get off to Wakanda.

- Why Wakanda?

- Because Black Panther needs to get the Iron Man toy

out of me.

- Where is it?

- It's in my bank.

- No, I mean where's Wakanda?

- I have no idea.

- Just use one of your portals.

(epic music)

(whooshing)

- Ha!

(upbeat techno music)

- Tony, an evil super villain

is trying to take over the world,

and you're here playing with virtual reality toys?

- Bruce, I'm not playing with toys.

I'm practising using augmented virtual reality.

- You can't defeat him on your own, Tony.

You're gonna need everyone's help.

- I know, Bruce.

That's why I've got the ultimate weaponry

to defeat him.

This is the Nerf assembly gear,

especially for Hulk.

- Wow, that's so cool, Tony.

Can't wait to take mine.

- Peter, you're an Avenger now.

- What?

To take on that crazy Thanos guy?

Why couldn't I be an Avenger

when you took on that weird Whiplash guy?

Why make me an Avenger now when it gets all dangerous?

- Don't worry, Peter.

I have another upgrade for you.

(epic music)

(epic music)

- Tony, where's mine?

That's not fair.

- [Thanos] When I'm done,

half of humanity will still exist.

Perfectly balanced.

As all things should be.

The end is near.

(suspenseful music)

- Don't worry, Vision, we'll soon have the toy of you.

- Guys, I think Thanos is here.

We must prepare ourselves for battle.

- Oh boy, this is gonna be fun.

- Come on, my friend, we must go to battle.

(whooshing)

(epic music)

(Thanos roaring)

(epic music)

(epic music)

- Doctor Strange, do your magic and make me Hulk.

Ah!

What did you do that for?

(Hulk groans)

- So nice of you all to come here

and witness the end.

(epic music)

(epic music)

(dramatic music)

(groans)

- Sorry!

- What sort of friend is that?

(groans)

- I'm okay, guys.

I'm okay.

(epic music)

(Thanos yells)

(laughs evilly)

(epic music)

(epic music)

(explosion)

(Thanos laughs evilly)

- [Thanos] The toys are all mine!

(solemn music)

The last Titan Hero toy is mine!

Iron Man.

(dramatic music)

(epic music)

- [Iron Man] Thanos, your time is up.

Put your hands up.

We've got you surrounded!

(Hulk growls)

- Seriously?

- Listen, Thanos, the end is near for you.

Let's settle this with a dance-off!

- A dance-off?

You gotta be kidding me.

(bouncy dance music)

(bouncy dance music)

(bouncy dance music)

(bouncy dance music)

(laughter)

- Hang on a minute.

He's got the toys.

- Guys, it doesn't matter!

'Cause these toys are available everywhere!

(cheering)

(happy music)