- Which crypt monster would you be most willing to 69?

- Do you count?

(rock music)

- Hello, Glam-Jammers!

Welcome back to my awesome YouTube show about me!

Did you guys click like yet?

Click that bell, too, right, subscribe.

And we're all good, and we're all clear?

You clicked all the buttons?

Okay, good.

Thank you so much, I love you.

By the way, what is love?

A good friend Shakespeare once said

something about it, I'm sure,

but I was pretty drunk (burps) that whole century.

(flames roaring)

Maybe I've never been in love,

but I do know some truly terrible ways

to show someone you love them.

Greeting cards.

Here you go, read what someone else wrote

and then I sign my name on it in a Walgreens parking lot.

A box of chocolates.

Really looking forward to biting into a dozen

garbage candies to find the two worth eating.

Balloons!

Yeah, it's just gonna slowly float around your living room,

get caught in a fan, deflate one day

and then choke your dog to death.

Constantly posting about it on social media.

Yeah, if you're constantly posting pictures of you

and your significant other, you guys are definitely

going to break up with six months

or you already resent each other.

You know, get a life, and have some privacy

for crying out loud.

(beep)

I have a very special guest today

who's going to teach me a little something about love.

(claps) To the bedroom!

(violin music)

Oh my god, now we're in my bedroom.

Can you (beep) believe it?

Please welcome my guest, Miss Vienna Lamp.

(claps)

- Not it, close, though.

- What was your name again?

- Leanna Vamp.

- So who turned ya?

- Nobody.

- You're just Leanna Vamp?

- Yeah, or, what did you call me?

- Vienna Lamp.

- Vienna Lamp, no, not that one.

- My intern must have gotten that wrong.

I created a lamp cosplay.

- She's a host of a lot of television shows.

We've got a couple big hosts sitting

on this very same bed right now.

- Mm hmm, me and you?

- Yeah.

Are you scared?

- Not really.

- You can do anything you want to me

with any of those things.

(whip cracks)

- Maybe later.

- You can throw a dildo at my face.

I dare you.

- I don't want to hurt you.

- I want you to hurt me, I like it.

- No, maybe later.

- Have you ever been in love?

- Yeah.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

- Well, now we're onto something.

How many times have you been in love?

- Once, with my husband?

- Oh my god, you're married?

- Yeah.

- Well, that adds up.

- Yep.

- You look great.

- Thanks.

(claps)

(laughs)

- Now what about me?

- You look beautiful.

Am I clapping too? (claps)

- Stop it, stop it.

Come on, stop it, stop it.

(beep)

- Leeanna.

- Yes ma'am.

- Are you ready to play a nasty little game called Glamazon?

Where I go through your Amazon purchases?

- I think so?

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

- Well, it doesn't matter if you are or not

because I'm about to start

and you already signed a deal with the devil.

(sultry music)

- Are you sure you're not a vampire?

- Maybe.

- She is, okay.

- (laughs)

- We have unfinished wood coffin makeup.

I was right.

- Coffin boxes.

- Coffin boxes?

- Yeah, they're like little boxes, you put things in them.

- What do you put in them?

- I put jewelry in them.

- Yeah, right.

You rip off people's fingernails and stick them in there.

- I put people's eyeballs in them.

- Yes, you heard it here!

She has little coffins full of eyeballs.

- Yep, yep.

- Wiccapedia, W-I-C-C-A pedia

as in, you're a witch too?

- Um, I dabble.

- You dabble?

Do a spell on me right now!

- It doesn't work that way.

- What!

Yes, I have met lots of witches.

- It's too much pressure right now.

- This is your moment.

Turn me into a duck or something.

- I think you're perfect the way that you are, though.

I don't want to mess with that.

- Oh my god, shut the (beep) up.

- (laughs)

- Alright, we have

another inflatable coffin, what do you put in that?

- When I swim.

- When you swim?

- I swim with the coffin.

- Oh my- intern! (snaps)

I need one of those.

That is very chic, I love inflatables.

- It's Amazon Prime, too, it'll get to you in two days.

- I don't do my own anything.

- Nylon gloves, to cover your tracks

when you sneak into people's bedrooms,

suck blood out of their necks,

and turn them into one of you.

- Yeah.

- One of your people.

- Don't want to leave any evidence behind.

- Please tell me who turned you.

- Nobody did.

- Are you

the baby from (beep) the Kristen Stewart one? (laughs)

- Oh, no!

Twilight?

- Yeah!

- You better hold on tight, spider monkey.

- No more panty lines?

- You know that.

Don't talk to me like you don't know that.

- I never wear underwear.

- Oh, okay, well then you don't know that.

- Well, what are they?

- They're underwear that have no lines.

- Where do you stick 'em?

- You stick it here, and then it-

- You have to show me.

So if I were to-

- You stick it here.

- Where?

- Right here.

Right here, probably right here.

That's a little high.

- If you stick it right here, what's that doing?

- You stick the front, goes up, down and around,

and you stick the back up there

- It's here?

- And you stick it to the back.

Yeah, just like that.

- Is that the asshole part?

The little circle?

- It's the- above

the buttcrack part.

- I do not understand this device.

Moving on!

- Yeah.

- Films, we got shoes, boring, boring, boring.

- Shoes are not boring.

Do you see these?

These are not boring.

(heavenly music)

- Okay, those are actually really good shoes.

Girl.

Where'd you get those?

- Jeffrey Campbell.

- I (beep) him once.

- Did you get some free shoes?

- No.

- That's unfortunate.

- A whoopie cushion!

(fart sound)

- I like to play pranks on people, too.

- You're so mischievous.

"The Highly Sensitive Person"

How to...

This is a book.

Are you sensitive?

- I am.

- Are you in therapy?

- No, are you?

- Yeah.

I have the same therapist as Lady Gaga.

- Do you really?

- She was.

- She's dead?

- Well, she told me something I didn't like about myself.

So, (slicing sound) she had to go.

- I like you very much.

I think you're great.

- Thank you.

- You're welcome.

And I'm not just saying that so you don't

(clicks tongue) me.

- I could never.

- Why?

- Because you're a (beep) vampire!

- Oh, that's true.

- I don't have any stakes in here.

- That's true.

(laser sounds)

(whispers) She wasn't prepared.

- We're done with this game.

- Okay, good.

- But we're not done with games in general, my friend.

So don't get it (beep) twisted.

Cuz we're about to play Truth or Scare.

- (nervously) Uhh...

- So you have to tell me the truth about something, or

(clicks tongue)

Nah, I'm just kidding.

- Oh.

- I'm just going to text somebody in your phone

something you don't want me to text.

(creepy music)

Are you ready for Truth or Scare?

- I am not ready, but I think-

- Tough shit.

- You're going to go anyway!

- If you could have a threesome with me

and one other person, who would it be?

- My husband.

- Really?

- Yeah.

- Okay.

Intern, pull up my iCal!

- We can make time for you like, next week.

- I usually don't like to be pushed aside,

but I understand, you know.

- I appreciate you being flexible.

- Thank you, and you're welcome.

Stop making me nervous.

I'm so nervous.

(teeth chattering)

- Which crypt monster would you be most willing to 69?

- Do you count?

(harp music)

- Yes?

- We have a thing now.

- We have a thing now?

- Yeah.

- Wait, do we really have a thing now?

- Maybe.

- For the...?

(both laugh)

- Next question!

- Oh my god, I've never been so nervous

and giggly on this show before.

- See, that was my whole thing.

I'm trying to make you nervous

because you were making me very nervous earlier.

- Oh my god, you're making me nervous.

- (laughs)

- I'm just so excited for next weekend.