WITH CHARLIE SANDERS WINNING THE GAME

IN LITERALLY THE LAST SECOND.

UNBELIEVABLE, TRULY SPECTACULAR.

CHARLIE SANDERS, HOW DOES IT FEEL?

- HEY, YO, I WANNA SAY SOMETHIN' TO EVERYBODY WATCHIN'.

YO, YOU CAN DO ANYTHING! ANYTHING'S POSSIBLE!

THE WORLD IS YOURS!

- AND CHARLIE, DID YOU THINK THAT THAT GAME

WAS GONNA END THAT WAY TONIGHT?

- YO, THERE ARE NO LIMITS, ALL RIGHT?

YOU CAN SWIM ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.

YOU CAN JUMP REAL HIGH AND TOUCH THE MOON!

- FANTASTIC. CHARLIE SANDERS, FRESH OFF OF HIS, UH, VICTORY.

I JUST FEEL LIKE HE'S READY TO TOUCH THE MOON.

- I CAN FLY! ANYBODY CAN FLY!

IF YOU BELIEVE IN YOURSELF

THE WAY I BELIEVE IN MYSELF TONIGHT,

YOU WILL FLY!

- AND WHAT'S NEXT FOR CHARLIE SANDERS AND THE ORANGE--

- KIDS, YOU CAN ACTUALLY FLY!

- NO--NO, NOT-- OH, NOT LITERALLY, OF COURSE.

- YES! LITERALLY! KIDS!

YOUNG KIDS, I WANT YOU TO GO UP ON YOUR ROOFS RIGHT NOW!

- WAIT, WHAT? - FLY INTO THE NIGHT SKY!

- OKAY. - PEOPLE WILL SEE YOU FLYING!

AND THEN YOU CAN DO ANYTHING! YOU CAN DO ANYTHING!

- OKAY, WELL, WE--WE--WE-- WE JUST WANT TO REMIND THE KIDS

THAT OF COURSE, YOU CANNOT ACTUALLY FLY, KIDS.

- YO, SCREW THAT NEGATIVITY, MAN!

HEY, BOYS AND GIRLS, AGES 8 THROUGH 12!

YO, DON'T LET NOBODY EVER TELL YOU WHAT YOU CAN AND CANNOT DO!

ALL THE PRETEEN CHILDREN OUT THERE, LISTEN TO MY VOICE!

YOU ARE IMMORTAL!

- OKAY, WELL, OBVIOUSLY, WE UNDERSTAND THAT CHARLIE...

- [groaning, shouting] - IS SUPER EXCITED RIGHT NOW,

AND THAT NO ONE IS ACTUALLY IMMORTAL, NOBODY AT ALL.

- HEY, KIDS!

YOU CAN TURN YOURSELF INTO A CAR

AND HAVE A FRIEND DRIVE YOU ONTO THE FREEWAY!

- OKAY, NO--WELL, THAT'S JUST A METAPHOR, KIDS.

- IT'S NOT! - JUST A METAPHOR--

- YOU STILL HAVE THE POWER OF CHILDISH INNOCENCE!

GET A FRIEND ON YOUR BACK,

AND MAKE A BEELINE FOR THE NEXT RAMP TO THE FREEWAY, Y'ALL!

- OKAY, DON'T DO ANY-- - TO THE FREEWAY!

- HE'S SPEAKING FIGURATIVELY, FOLKS.

- ONCE YOU GET THERE, AIN'T NOTHING FIGURATIVE ABOUT THIS!

YOU WILL TURN INTO A ROBOT!

FIRST AND FOREMOST, I JUST WANT TO SAY

TO ALL THE FAMILIES WHO LOST CHILDREN, I'M SORRY.

MY STATEMENTS WERE IRRESPONSIBLE.

I HAVE SUBSEQUENTLY LOOKED UP

THE TERMS "LITERALLY" AND "METAPHORICALLY,"

AND FOUND THAT WHEREAS I WAS NOT INCORRECT,

THEY DID NOT MEAN WHAT I THOUGHT THEY MEANT.