Placeholder Image

字幕表 動画を再生する

  • Chad: Hey guys before we get started to want to tell you about 23andme.

  • Which is a DNA testing service.

  • It's named after the 23 chromosomes that make up your DNA.

  • It's a great way to find out about your family history.

  • Your wellness and it's super easy to do.

  • All you to do is spit in the tube and send it off and then you find out.

  • Now through December 25th get 30% off any 23andme kit order your DNA kit at 23andMe.com/deathbattle.

  • That's the number 2,3 a,nd me.com/DEATH BATTLE.

  • Again that's 23andMe/deathbattle.

  • (Cues: Wiz & Boomstick - Brandon Yates)

  • Wiz: Power.

  • Some spend entire lives in search of it.

  • While for others it is their birthright.

  • But what truly matters in the end is how it's used.

  • Boomstick: Like with Thanos, the ultimate villain of the Avengers.

  • Wiz: And Darkside, arch-nemesis to the Justice League.

  • Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.

  • Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win... a DEATH BATTLE!

  • Over a million years ago.

  • When mankind's evolution first broke away from the apes.

  • The cosmic Celestials arrived on earth.

  • They experimented on the human race creating three separate variants.

  • The powerful and beautiful Eternals destined for immortality.

  • Those with a latent mutated gene which would one day spawn the X-Men.

  • And the deformed disturbing subspecies known as the Deviants.

  • Boomstick: Like that one website with all the porn.

  • Wiz: What?

  • Boomstick: Anyway the Eternals eventually colonized the moons of Saturn thanks to this science wizard named Mentor.

  • Whose collar's like the lampshade I put on my dog to make him stop lickin' his junk.

  • Wiz: Charming.

  • But while the Eternal seemed like a perfect people.

  • Mentor's own son would change this forever and force the cosmos to its needs.

  • His name was Thanos.

  • Thanos: You were a fool to betray me Ronan.

  • Prepare to meet your doom!

  • Boomstick: Thanos was born into a life of luxury.

  • Sure his mom went totally insane and tried to kill him right away but what do you think you'd do if you popped out a creepy, California raisin, baby?

  • Wiz: It seems the Celestials experiments weren't quite so different from each other.

  • Despite his eternal heritage Thanos' large disproportionate body and thick purple skin where thanks to a deviant mutation.

  • Boomstick: Which you'd think would mean everyone would hate him.

  • But nope.

  • The Eternals were super progressive and totally cool with a wrinkly grimace walkin' around.

  • Wiz: In fact Thanos was greatly admired for his exceptional intelligence and creativity.

  • He was set for a positive and decorated future.

  • Boomstick: Until he threw it all away for a girl.

  • Hey I don't blame him.

  • Lots of guys do crazy shit for hot chicks.

  • Especially when you're a secret murder-happy psycho who's obsessed with the physical manifestation of death.

  • Wiz: To earn Death's reciprocal love.

  • Thanos took a journey a quest to ravage the universe in her name.

  • Boomstick: And as an eternal he had plenty of superhuman power to do it.

  • He was already the strongest and fastest Eternal around.

  • But he boosted his power even more with bionic and magic enhancements.

  • Wiz: And while his fiscal and psionic abilities are impressive.

  • His incredible genius led to building massive spaceships, shields that can withstand planet level attacks and even a time window.

  • Boomstick: And the most badass throne ever.

  • It comes packed with its own laser weapons, light speed travel and it can teleport through space and time.

  • Wiz: Unlike most Eternals Thanos has also dabbled in the mystic arts.

  • Petrification, Curses even some of his throne's abilities seem to be more magic than hard science.

  • All of this potential makes Thanos an incredibly dangerous foe.

  • Boomstick: Yeah, good luck tryin' to hurt him.

  • He can survive pretty much anythin'.

  • Includin' a gun.

  • Specifically designed to kill him.

  • He even shot himself in the face with it just to prove how goddamn awesome he is.

  • Boomstick: Don't try that at home kids.

  • Wiz: He's strong enough to overpower two Thors at once.

  • Snap a universal weapon known for its extreme durability.

  • And even lift the gargantuan Galactus engine.

  • Boomstick: That giant super rocket big enough to move planets according to Mr. Fantastic.

  • And that guy know his stuff.

  • This thing is hundreds of miles long.

  • Wiz: While the Galactus engine's size seems to vary from comic to comic.

  • Reed's assertion matches its appearance when it propelled Ego the Living Planet.

  • By examining the engine in three separate parts applying the density of steel and comparing Ego's diameter of four thousand 165 miles.

  • We've found that Thanos must be lifting about 50 quintillion tons.

  • That's like holding up 140 trillion Empire State buildings.

  • Boomstick: And he's doin' this inside the gut of a living Kurt Russell planet that eats other planets and even stars.

  • Man.

  • I thought I had an iron stomach.

  • Wiz: But destroying a star isn't a simple thing.

  • Any energy directed toward a star would just be absorbed and adapted to.

  • Only by completely nullifying a star's constant energy output can it be eliminated.

  • Boomstick: So Ego's stomach acid it must be deadlier than frickin supernovas or a black hole.

  • He'd probably love'd Mama Boomstick's world famous ghost pepper pie.

  • Wiz: Ugh!

  • Boomstick: It's fine.

  • Just dip it in some squirrel paste.

  • Wiz: Surviving the stomach of Ego isn't so far-fetched for Thanos.

  • Considering he's also survived a dip in a blackhole.

  • Extreme reality warping across the Metaverse and the voice of Black Bolt.

  • Boomstick: What's so special about this guy you asked?

  • Well with just a whisper he obliterated 1 billion tons of rock.

  • This guy can easily break a planet with just one shout.

  • And Thanos took three of them to the face.

  • Wiz: Although Thanos isn't known for being a speedster character.

  • He's still quick enough to battle the likes of Silver Surfer.

  • A being who can cover five hundred thousand light-years in just a couple of seconds.

  • Putting him over three trillion times faster than light.

  • With so many impressive showings It's hard to truly find a weakness.

  • Deadpool: Except for oneeeeeee.

  • Boomstick: UGH Godamnit!

  • Deadpool: Thank you, thank you.

  • Glad to be here.

  • It's me: Deadpool.

  • Slayer of Deathstroke's, befriender of Ponies and breaker of Mad Titan heart's.

  • Unlike Casanova the ravenous reaper can't get enough of me.

  • Thanos just hates that.

  • Oof!

  • Wiz: Well Thanos did cursed him so he couldn't die and be with her.

  • Deadpool: I know right?

  • He's a big purple crybaby.

  • Have you seen that chin though?

  • It's like you got hit in the face with a Slap Chop.

  • Boomstick: Don't you have a like a party in pony town to be in?

  • Deadpool: Aw come on buddy you can't have a DEATH BATTLE season without Deadpool right?

  • Wiz: We did.

  • The last one.

  • Deadpool: Nobody counts that one.

  • I mean that's a year you pit a dog in trenchcoat against a goddamn bear.

  • (chuckles)

  • Did you think what happened?

  • Boomstick: (laughs)

  • Yeah.

  • Deadpool: Whatever.

  • I know when I'm not wanted.

  • See you next year.

  • DP out.

  • Wiz: UGH Good riddance.

  • Boomstick: Even with all of these powers and abilities Thanos still felt he needed something more to impress Death.

  • Think he's compensatin' for somethin' Wiz?

  • Wiz: Oh absolutely.

  • So he built the Infinity Gauntlet a golden glove which harnessed the power of six multi colored gems known as Infinity Stones.

  • With these he could control the full spectrum of space, reality, mind, power, soul and time.

  • Boomstick: And with those powers combined he summons Captain Planet.

  • Wiz: Well more like the destruction of half the universe but sure whatever.

  • Bucky: Steve?

  • Boomstick: Eh, same difference.

  • Oh wait isn't the Time Stone the green one in Dr. Strange's necklace?

  • Wiz: Well in the Movie Universe the Time Stone is green but in the original comics series is orange.

  • This is because every universe has its own unique Infinity Gauntlet that works exclusively there.

  • And sometimes the stones are different in color.

  • Here just follow this handy diagram I made.

  • Boomstick: Yeah don't care.

  • So with all the stones he wiped out half the universe with only a snap of his fingers.

  • But he also started going a bit crazy and began to doubt his ability to perform.

  • Hey happens to the best of us.

  • Wiz: Yet it never keeps the Mad Titan at bay for long.

  • Whose constant lust for power and godly status in the universe is only matched by his drive to just kill everybody.

  • Thanos: Dread it.

  • Run from it.

  • Destiny arrives all the same.

  • And now it's here.

  • Or should I say...

  • I am.

  • Wiz: Ten billion years ago...

  • The primeval Old Gods clashed in a cosmic civil war called: Ragnarök.

  • Boomstick: That the one with Thor and Jeff Goldblum?

  • Wiz: No.

  • Yes...

  • Kind of.

  • The battle was so great that the result was an explosion that tore the God's asunder.

  • Sending a great Godwave throughout the metaverse.

  • Eventually birthing a new generation known as...

  • The New Gods.

  • Boomstick: How original!

  • Well, some of these include Alpine Space Skier.

  • Fancy Pants Shakespeare.

  • And this cyborg spider Humpty Dumpty.

  • Half of these guys ended up on a beautiful paradise world called: New Genesis.

  • While the rest got stuck on an actually fireball called Apokolips.

  • With a "K".

  • Wiz: Among these damned souls was Prince Uxas.

  • Second in line to the throne behind his older brother Drax.

  • Not Dave Bautista Drax.

  • But DC Drax.

  • Boomstick: Aw man, I really like that guy.

  • He's not afraid to say what he's thinkin'.

  • Drax: You are horrifying to look at, yes.

  • Wiz: To rule Apokolips, Drax was meant to enter the mysterious Omega Pit and absorb the Omega Effect.

  • A force of destructive entropy bound within Apokolips.

  • Boomstick: But being the crafty bastard he was.

  • Uxas tricked DC Drax into getting killed, and stole the loot for himself.

  • Wiz: And so the Omega Effect transformed Uxas into the physical manifestation of tyranny:

  • Darkseid.

  • Cyborg: Now what?

  • Darkseid: Now...

  • You die.

  • Boomstick: As the king of Apokolips; Darkseid entered a war on the universe.

  • Whether he was kicking New Genesis ass, or givin' the Man of Steel a hard time.

  • Darkseid was always workin' toward his one goal: conquerin' all life.

  • Wiz: And thanks to his New God physiology, he has incredible superhuman strength, speed, agility, and even immortality.

  • He's already over 245,000 years old.

  • And that's given him plenty of time to push the limits of the Omega Effect.

  • Boomstick: He's got a whole bunch of cool Omega powers that break all the rules of nature.

  • He can teleport across time and space, fly at unthinkable speeds, warp reality around him.

  • And grow super sized.

  • Wiz: Something he's pretty used to doing.

  • The scale between the prime universe and Darkseid's own universe.

  • The Fourth World is vast.

  • He travels between universes via Boom Tubes, which automatically adjust his size to what is considered normal within his destination.

  • Otherwise, he'd have a hard time fitting in.

  • Given that the normal size of a New God is about the size of a star.

  • Boomstick: Oh yeah.

  • I've had that kinda trouble with my Boomstick Tube.

  • Wiz: He can use various psionic powers like telekinesis and telepathy.

  • And can easily manipulate sentient beings thanks to a cosmic awareness of the multiverse powered by eighteen divine senses.

  • Boomstick: Y'know, I bet he never forgets where he leaves his keys.

  • Like a space-age necromancer Darkseid can possess living or deceased beings.

  • Controlling them like puppets.

  • He can even control basic inanimate objects.

  • Just like the Nomad of Nowhere.

  • Boomstick: AH! HOLY SHIT!

  • Uh, Wiz?

  • Never thought I'd say this but...

  • That might have been too much to drink.

  • Wiz: But Darkseid's deadliest technique is his signature Omega Beams.

  • These burning lasers of hatred are capable of instant sharp turns and tracking multiple targets at once.

  • Flash: They're splitting up.

  • They can do that?

  • Superman: They're locked on us!

  • Wiz: On contact the beams can either disintegrate their target, transmute matter.

  • Erase beings from existence or trap enemies in the Omega Sanction.

  • The Omega Sanction is a sort of life trap.

  • Its target enters a self-contained reality where they live out an infinite number of lives for eternity.

  • Boomstick: Oh that doesn't sound so bad.

  • I just do a Bill Murray and use all those lives to learn piano or save a dog or...

  • Yeah that's probably about it.

  • Wiz: Well, there's a catch.

  • Each life in the sanction gets progressively worse as it goes.

  • Including how you die.

  • When the third Mr. Miracle was trapped in it he was fairly unaware.

  • Until he was beaten, burned, mutilated and castrated.

  • Broke into a point of intentionally overdosing.

  • And that was just his first life in the sanction.

  • Boomstick: Oh.

  • No thanks.

  • I'm good.

  • To overpower the multiverse Darkseid would face some pretty steep competition.

  • However his power eclipses those of even some of the strongest heroes around.

  • Boomstick: He's fast enough to take a trip to the Source Wall in just a few seconds.

  • That's at the very edge of existence.

  • So like you're not gonna be able to Map quest that shit.

  • Wiz: The edge of the observable universe is about 45 billion light-years away and scientists hypothesized the actual scale is over 100 sextillions times greater.

  • It took a whole year for the legendary helm of Nabu to make this journey.

  • But for Darkseid all of five seconds.

  • To pull this off he'd have to be moving over 87 duodecillion times the speed of light.

  • Boomstick: Which is totally a real number that I understand.

  • But if he super big in Fourth World wouldn't he have an easier time getting to the edge?

  • Wiz: We're factoring the scaling across his universe as a whole.

  • Besides technically the Fourth World is four billion years older than our own universe.

  • So the distance to the edge is probably even further.

  • Boomstick: He's so quick he can choke out Superman before he even sees him move.

  • Or knock him out cold in just a few bitch slaps.

  • And Superman can survive supernovas to the face.

  • Also since Darkseid wasn't affected by the crisis mega reboot.

  • It's still canon that he can blitz Pre-Crisis Supes.

  • Who can sneeze solar systems away.

  • Wiz: Darkseid is strong enough to crush a Lantern ring with ease.

  • Destroy planets with his Omega Beams and wipe out the Justice League with a single strike.

  • Even with all this power Darkseid believed he could not dominate the universe.

  • Until he discovered his ultimate prize.

  • The Anti-Life Equation.

  • Boomstick: Ha!

  • I knew numbers were bad for you.

  • Take that Miss Jensen and your stupid ruler.

  • Wiz: The Anti-Life is technically an entity of its own.

  • A fragmented piece of the source from which all life originates.

  • However Darkseid discovered a formula which essentially manipulates the anti life's presence in all living things.

  • In a manner which definitively proves that all freedom and hope are meaningless efforts.

  • Boomstick: So it's math that just make just sad.

  • Wiz: Yes.

  • And as a slave to Darkseid, but yes.

  • So the Anti-Life is pretty weird.

  • But you know what's even more so?

  • The Darkseid that you think you know isn't actually Darkseid.

  • Boomstick: Say what now?

  • Wiz: He became the very essence of tyranny itself.

  • This noncorporeal god rests in the higher plane of fourth world and molds avatars of his consciousness to interact with the multiverse around him.

  • While each avatar is weaker than his true self.

  • It's a necessary handicap.

  • As his own existence in the universe other than Fourth World would shatter the loss of reality.

  • Ending time and space as we know it.

  • The sheer power of the Omega Effect threatens entire cosmos.

  • Similar to how it's equal the Astro Force could counter in Oblivion bomb capable of annihilating the universe in a single blast.

  • Boomstick: Holy shit!

  • His avatar may lose some power.

  • But it's still tough enough to survive a bomb Lex Luthor designed to rip apart existence.

  • And a shot from Marvelous Marno's Master Blaster.

  • Which sounds like it was made up by a circus clown.

  • And that kind of makes sense because apparently no life-form can stand up to it.

  • Just like clowns.

  • Wiz: Except for Darkseid.

  • Boomstick: Well Darkseid isn't immune to all guns.

  • All you need is a neat little Radion bullet.

  • Wiz: Think of Radion as the new God's kryptonite.

  • Despite all his power Darkseid is far from invincible.

  • He's had his heart ripped out, his soul stolen by Death and his essence shattered by Superman...

  • Of...

  • Singing.

  • Boomstick: Hey Darkseid?

  • Wiz: To this day even after so many cataclysmic events.

  • The lord of apocalypse continues his mission.

  • Every living being in the multiverse will bend to the will of Darkseid.

  • Darkseid: It seems I have you to thank for my resurrection.

  • Though your world will suffer slowly.

  • I grant you a quick death.

  • Wiz: Alright the combatants are set.

  • Let's end this debate once and for all.

  • Boomstick: But first I need something that can save my godly hunger.

  • Wiz: We're in the holiday season.

  • So nobody wants to worry about preparing meals.

  • Thankfully cooking delicious wholesome meals can be an easy feat with Blue Apron.

  • Starting in January Blue Apron chefs are working with health and wellness experts at www wait watch this re-imagined.

  • To make a variety of fantastic recipes perfect for a healthy lifestyle.

  • The new free style plan features six weekly recipes and you can choose up to three per week.

  • Get pre portion ingredients and create wonderful meals for as low as four smart points each.

  • So enjoy your holidays without worrying about grocery shopping or planning.

  • Let Blue Apron take care of that.

  • My favorite part is feelin' like a master chef makin' creative and delicious meals with my own hands.

  • You guys really need to try it out.

  • Wiz: It's pretty nice coming home knowing I'll have a delicious meal I can whip up with these.

  • Boomstick: So check out this week's menu and get your first three meals free at Blueapron.com/Battle.

  • That's Blueapron.com/Battle to get your first three meals free.

  • Wiz: Blue Apron "A Better Way to Cook."

  • Boomstick: But right now, IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Deadpool: You can fly, you can teleport and send you through time and space and it's perfect for gaming.

  • You follow me.

  • Sure you do.

  • You're a foward thinking guy.

  • Thanos At last, there it is.

  • Deadpool: Hey, hey Thanos.

  • Buddy.

  • How are you doing?

  • Rocking that chin as always.

  • Thanos: Get off my throne and kneel.

  • Face death at the hand of your new emperor.

  • Darkseid: You know now the infinite wealth the destruction I command.

  • Announcer: FIGHT

  • Darkseid: Prepare to strike.

  • Beg or speak release of the game.

  • Thanos: You first.

  • I am Thanos.

  • Thanos is supreme.

  • Thanos is god.

  • These games bore me.

  • But this will bring a smile to my face.

  • Darkseid: It'll have to wait.

  • Thanos: COWARD!!!

  • WHO ARE YOU?

  • WHO ARE YOU!?

  • Darkseid: I'll show you.

  • This is who I am.

  • Your reality is far from my own.

  • You have no power here.

  • Thanos: I am Thanos.

  • I am all things.

  • THIS IS WHO I AM!

  • Darkseid: Pitiful.

  • Deadpool: Is he looking at us?

  • Oh my god!

  • It's Deadpool with a gun!

  • Darkseid: Behold!

  • In endless death.

  • Deadpool: So you watching any anime?

  • Announcer: KO

  • Boomstick: Oh man that's the worst way could a gone out.

  • 'Cause now he's gonna be dying over and over and over...

  • Wiz: Thanos was an incredible foe, especially while wielding the Infinity Gauntlet.

  • Unfortunately the Gauntlet had a fatal flaw.

  • Boomstick: Yeah that Golden Glove only works in its own universe.

  • And Darkseid could easily move the fight to new ones with his Boomstick tubes.

  • Universe hoppin' is kind of his thing.

  • Wiz: The Reed Richards of the interdimensional Council of Reed's figured this out.

  • It's three founding members Reed, Reed and Reed each possessed Infinity Gauntlets.

  • But discovered that they couldn't work outside of their own universes.

  • Boomstick: The Gauntlet had no problem making Darkseid's avatar not feel so good.

  • But since Darkseid's true form was always in the Fourth World universe.

  • Thanos couldn't actually finish him off with the Gauntlet.

  • Wiz: Even if this fight took place an entirely neutral territory.

  • The victor wouldn't change.

  • Thanos' Gauntlet wouldn't work and True Darkseid's presence would actually just destroy everything just by being there.

  • Boomstick: But he didn't just lose because of the Gauntlet.

  • He really couldn't keep up with the space golem.

  • Wiz: Even going toe-to-toe with it being as fast as Silver Surfer was nothing compared to when Darkseid took a trip to the edge of existence.

  • This puts Darkseid almost 28 octillion times faster than Thanos.

  • Boomstick: And his Omega effect scales to the Astro Force, which could equal the oblivion bomb universe destroying blast.

  • This means the Omega Effect and Infinity Gauntlet were both pretty even in terms of destructive ability.

  • But unlike Thanos.

  • Darkseid can use his Omega Powers whenever and wherever he wants.

  • Wiz: Once he lost the Gauntlet Thanos could certainly survive star level attacks and be even greater.

  • But universal destruction is definitely a bit more than his purple eternal hide could handle.

  • And even after that...

  • Darkseid had plenty of ways to end the fight whenever he wanted like the Omega Sanction.

  • Boomstick: Thanos was super powerful

  • But Darkseid was just faster, stronger and even more ruthless.

  • Wiz: And if you think about it.

  • Thanos needed the Infinity Gauntlet to become a god.

  • But Darkseid already was one.

  • Boomstick: Thanos just couldn't...

  • Deadpool: Run the Gauntlet!

  • Boomstick: You son of a bitch!

  • Wiz: (groans)

  • The winner is Darkseid.

  • Ben: Hey thanks for watching the series' Season Finale

  • If you want the music from this battle you can get it by clicking the link below.

  • Chad: Or if you guys want to see Thanos and Darkseid in a rap battle.

  • Just click that video right over there and check out our friends JTMusic.

Chad: Hey guys before we get started to want to tell you about 23andme.

字幕と単語

ワンタップで英和辞典検索 単語をクリックすると、意味が表示されます

B2 中上級

サノスVSダークセイド(マーベルVSDC)|DEATH BATTLE! (Thanos VS Darkseid (Marvel VS DC) | DEATH BATTLE!)

  • 85 2
    李慎偉 に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
動画の中の単語