Is it a dress?

Is it pants?

It's confusing.

What is it?

Is it pants or a dress?

It's pants.

It's a dress.

It's a pant.

I don't know.

It keeps you guessing, though, huh?

It does.

It really does.

Because when you sit down, it becomes

a whole different thing.

Yes.

Oh, I see.

I didn't just offend you in any way, did I?

No, it didn't offend me in any way.

OK, good.

No.

No.

Hi, Jen.

Almost Christmas.

Yes, I know.

Look at it!

[APPLAUSE]

And Hanukkah.

Hanukkah.

Is your tree up yet?

No.

No?

I'm really behind the eight ball this year.

Why?

I just keep working.

Yeah, usually--

I usually by the 1st of December, it's there.

And then the whole, your outside of the house-- you

do so many-- is that done yet?

That's done.

OK, because that's really beautiful.

That took me five days straight to do that.

You did nothing.

I know.

Nothing at all.

Yeah, I didn't do anything.

But it's so tastefully done, it looks beautiful.

Hi, honey.

When are you going to get-- talk to me.

I'm sorry.

Mary Connelly, I just saw a cute picture of her.

Yeah, she was a little baby in 1914.

[LAUGHS] 1914.

First of all, Jen and I are friends,

but we never see each other.

We only FaceTime because I don't leave the house.

You don't.

It's actually true.

Thank god, what would we do without FaceTime?

I would never see you.

You never would.

She's so social, and does so many things,

and always has people over.

And you're a great host and--

Yeah, you never come.

It's a 15 minute drive.

It's a 15 minute drive.

It is.

Winding streets.

Winding.

It's so true.

Or just to get you to come back from up north.

Yeah, why would I want to be here when I can be up north?

You could be up north with Portia and the dogs.

And the horses and the ocean.

Why would I want to be here?

Because you love us.

I do love you.

I'm staying in town for you this weekend.

I know you are!

Yeah, all right.

I'll see you this weekend.

So, your--

Shh.

Shh, we won't tell anyone that.

So your birthday is coming up, a big one.

You're going to be 50.

What?

Yeah.

[APPLAUSE]

It's the first time I've heard that.

Ahem.

You look fantastic.

You should be thrilled.

[APPLAUSE]

I feel fantastic.

And I have an idea for you for your birthday

because it's a big one.

You do?

It's a big one.

It is.

Stop saying it.

OK.

OK.

So, well, you must know that you have

to do something special for it.

I have to?

Yes.

Oh.

Well, you should.

It's a celebration.

Are you giving me an idea of what to do?

Yes, I'm doing a party for you.

You're throwing me my party?

On this show.

I am going to have--

[APPLAUSE]

An entire hour.

You know how fun my birthday is.

You've been here for my birthday.

I have been here for your birthday.

OK.

And you know how special and surprises and stuff?

What if we have your birthday here for the whole hour?

We celebrate you for the whole hour.

I love that idea.

OK.

I mean it.

I love that idea.

And then is it greedy of me to say,

and then we go to your house and have an after party?

[APPLAUSE]

Woo.

I love that you all think you're going to be here.

I love that on February 11th, you're all

going to be back here somehow.

All right.

Hey, guys, it is the 12 days of Christmas.

You never know.

We'll talk about that.

We'll figure that out.

But the reason--

Terrified.

That may not happen.

Terrified.

Never going to happen.

But you do look fantastic, and--

Thank you, honey.

The last time we talked, you were boxing.

And you're still boxing, right?

I am still boxing.

With this man who's a giant--

Beautiful.

Leon, he's just fantastic.

His muscles are insane.

There he is.

There he is.

Look at that smile.

Yes.

Seriously, Leon is my gentle giant.

And he calls me champ.

And it's not weird.

No.

I mean, I'm sure between you two, it's not, but here it is.

I never thought someone would be able to call me champ,

and I would be O-- it would not, you know.

Hey champ.

Yeah.

We got to get it up to 80, champ.

What's 80?

Heart rate.

We got to get the heart rate up to 80.

So do you do-- like, he calls out jab uppercut?

You know what, all that?

Yes, all of that stuff.

Stick it, stick, stick--

I'm forgetting.

They made that dirty somehow.

I don't know how, but they all made it-- all at once,

everyone decided stick is dirty.

I don't know.

Leon was on this show, he said.

Well, he wasn't really.

He says he was on the show.

There was a picture of him in the background.

Well, he was saying.

I'd done your show last year, and he said, I was on Ellen.

And I said, you were?

And then he showed me that picture.

Andy is doing this to me over and over again.

Why?

Which means he wants me to stop talking to you.

So--

Well, what else are we going to do up here?

I know.

Oh, a commercial break.

OK.

Whatever.

All right, we'll take a commercial break.

All right.