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  • Freeze!

  • End of the line, Cortez!

  • Alright.

  • Here we go.

  • Well, well, well, boys.

  • Looks like we got a Mexican stand-off.

  • Guess again.

  • We've got a sniper trained on your position.

  • Nice try.

  • But I've had an unmanned drone on that sniper's ass this whole time.

  • You mean the unmanned drone our hacker just took over?

  • You mean the hacker whose wife I just kidnapped?

  • You mean the hacker's wife, who just filed for divorce?

  • Bullshit!

  • That marriage is rock solid.

  • Hahaha, I guarantee you it's not.

  • I've been hitting that for six months.

  • -Ta Boom.

  • Try cowboy, hear that we've got you covered, so drop it.

  • Looks like you got me.

  • But you forgot one thing.

  • I always bring backup.

  • You mean Chucky Cheese over here?

  • Had him pegged for a rat the day he entered the academy.

  • Boom.

  • Second sniper.

  • Oh, you knew all along?

  • Yeah.

  • Well I knew all along, that you knew, all along.

  • Did you just get here, son?

  • I knew, you knew, I knew, all along.

  • All along.

  • All along.

  • Well it looks like we've got a REAL Mexican standoff here, boys!

  • Woo!

  • All this talk of double-crossing is making me hungry!

  • For a slice, of blueberry pie.

  • Special Agent Blueberries Johnson, reporting for duty.

  • You were a sleeper agent?

  • That's right. And my top secret mission...

  • To investigate you for corruption.

  • Sorry, sir.

  • Wait!

  • What?!

  • You're investigating me?

  • Who do you think you are, Blueberries?

  • And who do you think,

  • I am?

  • What?

  • I don't know.

  • Why don't you ask,

  • you?

  • No!

  • That's impossible!

  • [ maniacal laughter ]

  • Oh, look at you two fools!

  • Playing your cat and mouse games.

  • When the truth has been in front of your faces, the entire time.

  • And behind mine.

  • Whoa!

  • What happened? What?

  • You were a gun for a second!

  • What? No, nonononononono, I'm not a gun! I'm not- what are you talking about?

  • Nope, definitely a gun for a second.

  • I'm not a gun.

  • I'm a human being!

  • Well, you're crying like a little girl.

  • Screw you guys, I'm killing everyone!

  • Whoa, whoa, whoa!

  • Stop, stop, stop, alright? Slow down.

  • Slow down, guys. Alright? Listen.

  • Let's just take a moment to figure out who's double-crossing themselves while dressed as each other, okay? Does that sound good?

  • Sound good?

  • Alright, okay.

  • Alright.

  • Okay, so then you became yourself, dressed as me. I get that.

  • Wow, okay.

  • And this asshole turned into a gun.

  • No, you shut your mouth.

  • You shut your mouth, you dirty gun!

  • How dare you!

  • Guys, shut up, okay?

  • Can we just agree to go with the plan here?

  • Yeah?

  • I'm good with that.

  • Yeah, let's tango.

  • [ coughs ]

  • [ coughs ]

  • [ pants ]

  • I won.

  • I won!

  • I... no! [ deflating sound ]

  • I didn't want to believe it!

  • It can't be!

  • It can't be true!

  • You can't be a gun!

  • You were at my daughter's wedding.

  • You son of a bitch!

  • I trusted you!

  • Fine.

  • But there's something you should know about me.

  • I'm actually, a blueberry-

  • Ooh, a hell of a crime scene.

  • [ whistles ]

  • You're the genius, what's your take?

  • Uh, the way I see it, this young Asian gentleman over here walked into this alleyway.

  • Had some blueberry pie, and then killed himself.

  • Then he put the gun way over there, to make it look like the gun killed the pie.

  • Just another wild night, in Wizard City.

Freeze!

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メキシカン・スタンドオフ (ft. Key & Peele) (Mexican Standoff (ft. Key & Peele))

  • 41 0
    Amy.Lin に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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