KID: I do.

DUNKEY: Shut up, dum dum!

KID: No, you faggot.

DUNKEY: Hey! Watch that mouth!

KID: No!

DUNKEY: Do you even know who I am, kid?!

KID: No your name is R-- Your picture is R2-D2--

DUNKEY: I am Bowser from Sonic, OK?

KID: You're not Bowser.

[♫MGS2 Plant Sneaking Theme♫]

[TEAMMATE LAUGHING] [MUSIC CONTINUES]

Teammate: "It's exactly like Metal Gear"

DUNKEY: Dammit!

God--

[MGS2 MUSIC CONTINUES]

[METAL GEAR ALERT SOUND, MUSIC STOPS] DUNKEY: Oh no,

nonono, no!

[Music start again] Okay...

Ooh!

Ooh.

Another guy...

[LAUGHING]

"HUH?"

"What was that noise?"

DUNKEY: He still doesn't know.

Like taking candy...

FUCK!

No! [LAUGHS]

Come o--

TEAMMATE: Look at Chewie!

[CHEWBACCA CRY]

KID: Yeah I thought Kylo Ren was really cool until he took his mask off.

He's kind of a baby.

PLAYER: Just like you, you fuckin' troglodyte.

Shut the fuck up, you pre-pubescent motherfucker.

DUNKEY: Let's just calm down, and let's go watch my show:

Fresh Prince of Bel Air

Starring me,

Carlton Banks.

KID: You're so dumb because

you think that

umm

the picture--

that guy is Carlton Banks.

DUNKEY: Shut the FUCK up, kid,

I'll fucking kill you!

FANBOY: Oh my god Dunkey it's you!

Oh my god!

DUNKEY: No...

FANBOY: [INDISCERNABLE RAMBLING]

Oh my god Dunkey it's actually you.

CARLTON BANKS: I'm Carlton Banks

you stupid retard.

FANBOY: Dunkey just spoke to me,

this is the best day of my life.

Terrorist voice: "I am planting the bomb."

TEAMMATE: Oh my god Dunkey's planting the bomb.

DUNKEY: You gotta get out baby,

you gotta get out.

Say goodbye to your gun.

Say "bye bye"

PLAYER: Goodbye!

What?

DUNKEY: WHAT?

[SCREAM]

DUNKEY: Alright for this move

you shoot all the bullets outta the clip, right.

And then you look for a guy using the pistol.

And you just hand this off to him.

There you go.

And then you just shoot

the shit out of that guy.

Ooooh...

HEADSHOT

BITCH!

Haha! Ha...

Fuck you,

Hitler.

Fuck you,

Donald Trump.

Fuck you,

Trumpler.

UNCLE PHIL: Geoffrey?

Break out Lucille.

DUNKEY: Now you messed up...

Max sensitivity.

Max pain, baby.

Here we go.

Ooh I see him

I see him

oh god.

I cranked the sensitivity too high...

I can't even look at him

in the right direction.

Am I shooting him?

Am I killing him right now?

Am I shooting him in the head?

[YELLING]

Gotcha.

Could be a guy--

Ohoo ha!

I got him!

I got him I--

Ahh!

[LAUGHING]

AHHHH!

What'd you pick man?

OPPONENT: Rock.

DUNKEY: Well I picked paper!

Oooooh!

Through the fire!

Headshot!

Bitch!

Ooohoooo!

That's what I'm talking about!

Say cheese!

BOP!

Boing!

Chooo!

Ooooh,

shhhiiit!

Oooh!

Through the wall.

Ooohhoho

[EXTREMELY SLOWED DOWN] OHHHH!

Howdy y'all,

welcome to painting with the Dunk.

Today we're going to start off with a nice,

umm

titanium black

Glock.

We're gonna start drawing the base--

Excuse me,

excuse me.

One sec.

We're gonna start by drawing

the base of the head.

[LARRY OWENS - INTERLUDE (BOB ROSS THEME)]