Welcome to the sample conversation video lesson from the course The Fearless Fluency Club.

In this video, you'll see myself and my sister Cherise having a conversation, a natural,

real conversation about reverse culture shock.

If you don't know what this term is, watch the video.

If you'd like to hear natural conversations, I'm sure you'll enjoy it, and to analyze and

learn about the vocabulary, the grammar, the pronunciation that we use in this video, make

sure that you watch the other videos in this series.

That way you can more completely and fully understand the conversation and use the English

yourself.

To join The Fearless Fluency Club, you can click the link here in the description or

up here at the top, the little I in the corner.

Thanks so much and let's get started.

Hi everyone.

I want to introduce you to my sister, Charisse.

Charisse: Hi everyone.

Vanessa: Today we're going to talk about a cool topic, reverse culture shock, but first

I want to introduce my sister, because you probably don't know her.

Can you tell us first a little bit about where you've lived or different countries you've

lived in?

Cherise: Yeah, sure.

Well, I lived in France.

I lived in Argentina, and I recently returned from South Korea.

Vanessa: Cool, cool.

What were you doing in France?

Cherise: In France, I was an au pair.

In Argentina, I had multiple jobs actually.

First, I worked at a volunteer organization, then I taught English, every odd job.

Then, I moved directly to South Korea, where I also taught English.

Vanessa: Yeah, so you're also an English teacher or yo used to be an English teacher.

That's really cool.

We have something in common.

Cherise: Yeah.

Yeah, we do.

Vanessa: The topic for today is reverse culture shock, and maybe some people know about what

culture shock is, but how would you describe culture shock?

Cherise: Reverse culture shock is when you go from the country you've been living in,

a foreign country, let's say, South Korea, you come back to your home country, and then

all of a sudden everything feels foreign, as if you're returning to a foreign country

and not your home country.

You don't connect with people.

You feel very different from everything around you.

Vanessa: Yeah, you feel kind of disconnected from what used to be really normal for you.

Cherise: Exactly.

Vanessa: Yeah, and that's a terrible feeling because you feel like, "Oh, I should be going

home.

I should be really comfortable," and then you feel really weird.

Cherise: Exactly.

You don't expect it.

You hear of culture shock, but reverse culture shock is something you're not expecting.

Because you don't prepare for it, it hits you harder.

Vanessa: Yeah, that's a good point.

I don't know.

Have you ever felt culture shock, regular culture shock when you moved to Argentina

or France or Korea?

Did you feel like, "This is a new culture"?

Cherise: I definitely did to an extent, because you're preparing for it.

You know you're going to another country.

You're going to feel discomfort of some sort, and you're expecting to feel it, so I think

you prepare more for this culture shock, but reverse culture shock, you're not ready, you're

not prepared, and it just hits you.

Vanessa: Yeah, especially when you go to another country and you know you're going to live

there for a while, you probably do a lot of preparation.

I know when we moved to Korea, I was watching videos all the time about Korea and what's

life like, some of the language, some culture different stuff, but when we came back to

the US, I didn't think about that at all.

It's just like, "Oh, it's just the US.

It's my home country."

Cherise: Exactly, right.

It's definitely real.

It's definitely there and it's something that you don't think about.

Vanessa: Yeah, especially when you've been living away for a while.

How long were you living away from the US before you came back?

Cherise: Four years.

Vanessa: So Argentina, and then- Cherise: First Argentina for a year, then

South Korea for three years.

Vanessa: Yeah.

That's a long time.

Cherise: It had been a long time.

I hadn't made any trips, just to visit friends or family.

My friends weren't even American, I would say, so I wasn't even getting some culture

from my American friends.

Vanessa: Yeah, you're culturally disconnected.

Cherise: Most of my friends were foreign or from the country I was living in.

Vanessa: Yeah, so when you lived in Argentina and Korea, you didn't really have American

friends so much.

Maybe some.

Cherise: There were a few, but they weren't the majority, or I wasn't even looking to

make those connections with American people.

Vanessa: Yeah, you wanted to make friends that are from the country.

Cherise: I wanted to, yeah, acclimate to the country and to the culture.

Vanessa: Yeah.

I think a lot of people, at least a lot of my students, if they're living in an English-speaking

country, that's a huge question, "How can I meet people who are from the local culture?"

But you did it.

What do you think helped you?

That's kind of off topic, but what do you think helped you to make friends with people

who weren't American?

Was it your jobs or you just learned the language?

Cherise: I think what helped was going to events that weren't for foreigners.

I went to those types of things where you know you're going to meet locals who live

there, and then just connecting with them and then a lot of times, they're very receptive.

They want to be your friend, too, and then that brings you into their friend group.

Vanessa: Yeah.

You mean dances or concerts, or what kind of events did you go to?

Cherise: Yeah, concerts, a lot of concerts in Argentina mainly, and then in South Korea,

I would say it was with my work because I was the only foreigner at the school I worked

at.

Everyone I worked with was a local, was Korean, and that's how I connected with them.

Vanessa: Yeah, so if you wanted to learn more about the culture, they were already around

you.

That's really cool.

I think it takes a lot of guts, though, because when you are the only person who's American

or from your country in an area, maybe you would be more likely to seclude yourself or

be like, "I feel really uncomfortable talking to them.

Do they want to talk to me?"

Cherise: Yeah, but they were very nice.

I never felt that awkward situation where maybe they don't want me here.

I felt very welcomed, and this is in South Korea.

Vanessa: In Argentina, was it different?

Cherise: No, it wasn't different.

This is coming from the experience of working in South Korea.

In Argentina, as well, but definitely in South Korea because I was the only foreign teacher,

but luckily I was with my husband, Toddo.

Vanessa: Yeah, so can you tell us a little bit about Toddo because Cherise's husband

also plays an important role in I think this culture shock or acclimating to a new culture,

so can you tell us about him?

His name's Toddo, so if you hear Toddo, it's not an English word you don't know.

It's just his name.

Cherise: Sure.

He's Colombian and we met in Argentina.

We got married in Argentina and then together we moved to South Korea, so he's been with

me through basically- Vanessa: A lot of changes.

Cherise: ... everywhere, in Argentina, in Korea, and then back to the US right now.

I think he's really helped me acclimate better just because I have somebody who's been with

me through all these experiences, and if no one else connects with me, I know he will

and I know he'll understand what I've been through because he's been through it, too,

and we can kind of hash it out together.

That has helped a lot.

Vanessa: I think that makes a big difference too because I know when I've traveled alone

somewhere and then I came back to the US, no one understood what I'd seen or the cool

experiences, so I felt really lonely.

There's no one I can talk to about this, and if I said, "Oh, I went here and I went there

and this was really cool, and oh, in Germany, it's like this," they'd just be like, "Oh,

that's really cool."

Maybe they thought it was cool, but they just can't get it.

Cherise: Right.

Exactly.

Either I feel like I'm talking too much about Korea and they're like, "Oh shut up, please

stop."

Vanessa: That's hard because it's part of your past.

Cherise: I want someone to tell.

Yeah, I want someone to be able to appreciate or just even listen.

You've been somewhere and you want to be able to share what you've seen, what you've learned.

Vanessa: Yeah.

We're like grandmas.

We want to just tell our stories.

Cherise: Exactly.

It's really helped having Toddo around and being able to connect with him stronger just

because we've been everywhere together.

Vanessa: Yeah, you guys have a closer bond because you've been through a lot.

Cherise: Right, right.

Vanessa: I think there's something ... Oh, what was I going to say?

There's something cool about, oh, you guys' relationship that we haven't mentioned yet,

that part of that reverse culture shock that we'll talk about in just a second is a language

thing, going from not being in an English speaking country to being in the US, where

there's English everywhere.

You speak Spanish, so can you tell us a little bit about your language experience with him?

I think this is so cool.

Cherise: Okay, sure.

Well, before I was going to Argentina because I wanted to learn Spanish, and I met Toddo.

Well, when we met, we didn't speak Spanish immediately together.

We spoke English.

He also speaks perfect English, but then as time grew on I was getting more like, "I really

want to learn Spanish, and let's speak Spanish together," which is actually really hard,

especially with a couple, with a pair to be like, "Okay, we're going to speak only"-

Vanessa: And change languages in the middle of your relationship.

Cherise: Exactly, yeah, but we somehow managed to do that somewhat successfully I would say.

I would speak Spanish almost I would say 90% of the time.

Vanessa: That's awesome.

Cherise: Which is really good.

It's helped me a lot.

It's helped our relationship.

I don't know why.

Vanessa: Yeah.

That's part of his native language though, so maybe for him too, he can connect better.

Cherise: I agree.

I think it has to do something with that.

All around, it's been great, so yeah.

Vanessa: That's cool that you have that connection, but coming back to the US, if you didn't want

to speak English, you could speak Spanish together.

Cherise: Right.

Oh yeah, I didn't mention that.

When we came back to the US, I felt like everyone was listening to my conversations and it was

just uncomfortable.

I didn't want to speak out loud because I thought, "Everyone's listening to me."

Vanessa: Yeah, that's a really weird feeling.

Cherise: We would speak in Spanish everywhere, but then again also, there's a lot of people

who speak Spanish, so it doesn't work all the time.

Vanessa: Kind of an illusion.

Cherise: You feel like you're speaking a secret language.

Vanessa: Yeah.

I feel like that's a good segue to the next thing of when have you experienced reverse

culture shock?

Coming back from the Argentina Korea experience to the US, did you experience any of that?

Cherise: Definitely.

I felt a longing for the Argentinian lifestyle I had when I was in Korea for at least a few

months, like, "Oh, we can just go out to all these restaurants and they have a lot more

varieties of food," so that was hard.

Maybe public transportation, although Korea also has fantastic public transportation.

It just stops at a certain time so you have to know what your-

Vanessa: Oh, Argentinian transportation went longer?

Cherise: It's all night, all day, 24/7.

Vanessa: Whoa.

Cherise: You don't have to think, "Okay, I've got to go home now."

Vanessa: Yeah.

Cherise: There were some things that I missed about Argentinian life that-

Vanessa: Weren't in Korea.

Cherise: Yeah, that didn't exist in Korea, and also, at least in Argentina, I understood