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I've been short for literally my whole life so it's really nothing new for someone to tease me about it. Hi, I'm Dominic.
Hi. Nice to meet you. You know you're short?
Wha- HUH!
What?! Oh dear!
When did this happen? I must have been unaware of my physical appearance for the past 26 years of my life!
How could I be so blind?
Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, wise stranger whom I've just met.
Thank you for enlightening me with your brilliance and informing me of this important and highly relevant matter.
I will now waste my time indulging in this epiphany that you have bestowed upon me.
You don't got to be a dick about it.
Domics: Shut up.

I used to be really self-conscious about it when I was a kid and thought something was wrong with me.
I had high hopes for myself and believed that I might just be a late bloomer.
I wore big tee's that were obviously too many sizes up for me because I thought it was cool and
gangsta at the time, but also because I believed I'd grow into them.
High school came and I was still the shortest kid.
People teased me but I stayed confident that the day will finally come when little tiny Dom
hits the prophesied growth spurt and towers over you peasants who believed there was no consequence for teasing and bullying me!
B-But the prophecy...was false.
I was told on average that boys stopped growing at the age of 16.
Once I reached the age of 16, people started giving me a false sense of hope
and said it was actually at age 18 that boys stopped growing.
And once I was 18, people started telling me 21? W-What?!
I eventually stopped looking forward to a day that would never come. I never got my growth spurt.
I never even grew enough to be of the average height.
I remain small and the teasing continued.
And it was always funny when people thought it was a diet issue or a physical fitness issue.
People kept saying crap like,
"Oh, you just need to drink more milk. Gotta' get that calcium for them bones to grow," and I'm like,
"Bitch, I drink milk every morning. My bones are strong but they ain't growing. I eat my greens
I eat my fruits, but results ain't showin'."
"Yeah! Hip-hop!"
And I was a pretty active kid.
Granted, I played a lot of video games,
But I also played outside a lot.
People were just ignorant at the fact that their parents were of average or taller heights.
While mine were literally the shortest of the respective siblings and therefore produced a child reflecting those genes. And okay,
I know some of you have tiny parents, but were that "special snowflake that surpassed the odds."
But I was not one of those lucky people.
I slowly accepted the reality and tried ways to deal with it.
I took up Taekwondo because I didn't want people to underestimate me, and think I was weak.
It was more so for that one day, that one kid
whom I really disliked decides to set me off just a little too much.
And I can go ahead and turn his pelvis inside out.
But on the other hand, I didn't want to be a violent kid so on top of self-defense,
I learned how to break dance and just be intimidating overall because you know no one really messes with b-boys.
They're like the chillest people you'll meet.
But if you mess with them,
Oh boy, prepare to get your ass whooped!
In a dance battle.
And forever sully your name in the world of hip-hop!
Over time, I came to embrace my short stature.
It became less about tolerating it.
But actually cherishing myself for who I was.
And to be honest,
It has come in handy and brought me into some interesting situations.
Getting carded at bars is always a hoot because, although I'm with friends that all
Obviously appear to be of the legal drinking age, I myself, do not.
And waitresses and bartenders tend to be polite.
So instead of singling me out,
They just ask for everyone's ID when obviously it's just me whose age they want to confirm.
Those festival games where they have to guess your age.
Oh-wee! My favorite!
I look young and I act young and I'm pretty much gonna' stay like this until my bum gets wrinkly.
And they're given that two-year range handicap.
So if they guess that you're 20, and you're actually 18 then they got you, I guess?
"I'll take the turtle plush. Thank you."
I mean, I'm aware of the disadvantages of being short obviously.
But I tend to look at the bright side of things.
I usually have a lot of trouble finding clothes and shoes my size because I'm always just a little smaller than the smallest men's sizes
that stores offer.
But on the bright side, I can wear women's sizes.
Well, mostly unisex looking shoes.
Not necessarily women's clothes but--
Well, I mean some actually fit kind of nice on me.
Leg room!
Man, do I feel bad for you walking lampposts who feel cramped in buses, planes, theaters and other places with arranged seating.
Environmental Hazards.
Have you ever just been walking around and suddenly a tree branch pimp slaps you in the face as if you owed it money?
"Bro, do you even limbo?"
When you're holding an umbrella to shelter both of us, at least you can do it at a comfortable arm elevation
You don't got to go full Mary Poppins to keep me dry.
Group photos!
Guess who's always at the front?
Hide and seek?
Pretty self-explanatory.
Now, I'm not saying being short is better than being tall.
I hate being unable to reach things from high shelves without a stepladder or having to parkour.
But being short's pretty cool in some cases.
Makes the world seem a little bigger and grander, even if it's just by a few centimeters.
I don't mind being short, but if I had the ability to like control my size, I guess that would be pretty cool.
Without making me a superhero or a super normal--?
I wouldn't really fight crime with it.
I'm just messing around with people, to be honest.
I guess, I'd be considered a demi-human which just so happens to be last month's loot crate anime theme.
You guys like anime?
I know you do!
You guys like monthly anime merch for less than $25?
I know you also do!
Well, if you signed up last time like I told you so you would have gotten some of the good shit in this crate such as--
A Twin Star exorcist shirt,
A Bleach-themed watch,
Some big-ass Tokyo ghoul stand charms and,
[Heavenly music]
Volume 1 of One Punch Man
I know. You missed out.
But it's not the end of the world.
You can sign up for future monthly crates by subscribing using the link in the description or by going to LootCrate.com/Domics
And entering the code 'Domics' for 10% off new subscriptions
You have until the 27th of this month at 9:00 p.m PST, if you want to be able to get next month's themed crate, which is...
Expect some tasty treats featuring items from Naruto Shippuden,
Food Wars!, Himouto! Umaru-Chan, Gudetama, and Sweetness and Lightning!
I like food, and I look forward to having that cheat day when my crate arrives.
Once again, that's LootCrate.com/Domics with the code 'Domics' to save 10% on new subscriptions
Link in the description below!
*whispers* you should subscribe to Domic's



81 タグ追加 保存
Ellen 2018 年 11 月 9 日 に公開
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