Stephen: gah!

Last night I dreamt I was visited by three ghosts!

There they are!

(laughter) what day is it?

What day is it!?

♪ ♪ ♪

Oh, what a beautiful morning!

Say there-- boy!

What?

Are you talking to me?

(laughter) Stephen: yes, you, boy!

I'm 37 years old.

(laughter) Stephen: wonderful boy.

Charming boy.

Tell me, boy: what day is it today?

It's monday, the day before the midterms.

Stephen: that means the ghosts all came in one night!

Of course they did.

I haven't missed the election.

There's still time to vote.

Here, boy.

Take this shiny silver crown and go buy the biggest midterms'

Goose you can find!

(laughter) Do you know I can see up your

Nightgown, right?

(laughter) Stephen: And up it for some

Midterms' figgy pudding.

(applause) Look, seriously dude, you

have to put on some briefs.

I-- I can see all the election returns, and they're swinging Left.

(laughter and applause) Stephen: oh, the midterms!

Oh, the midterms!

Wondrous boy, wondrous boy.

The midterms!

Dude, let me be clear!

I can see your entire penis!

(laughter) ♪ ♪ ♪

Jon: yeah!

Stephen: is that the jolly tune of midterms' carols I hear?

No, it sounds like Jon Batiste.

Stephen: Right it is.

That means I have a show to do!

Again, you really need to put on pants.

Stephen: No time!