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[Intro]

[Double Clap] I'm sorry, Gigi.

Dom: Alright. Hello everyone. There's gonna be a different episode. It's not really a hypothetical

We just just felt like talking, you know, I'm here in California right now

We're staying at a Jomm's mom's place, Jomm's mom's-

Jmom's place. And it made me remember some things of like, what it was like to live at home.

Or growing up Asian I guess.

I'm here today joined by a couple friends. Claire: Hello

I am Claire.

Ehlboy: I'm Ehlboy

Jomm: This is Jomm

Dom: I'm sure we all have No slippers in the house.

Claire: No slippers?

Dom: Sorry, no shoes.

Claire: No shoes? Dom: No shoes, always slippers

Yeah, do you have that basket of slippers at the front door? Everyone: Yep

Claire: When people come over we always offer slippers,

There's just an abundance of slippers.

Jomm: My issue with slippers is I end up walking outside a lot on accident with them on.

So it defeats the purpose of having slippers.

It's like I got to get my mail

It's outside and I don't think about I just walk out and then it's like "Well now my slippers are dirty what different are they?"

Now they're shoes. Dom: Now they're outdoor slippers, permanently.

Jomm: You ever have white friends that go to bed with shoes on?

Ehlboy: Yeah actually new people-

Jomms: Yeah I had friends do that.

First I was visiting his house and he just laid down on his bed with his shoes

Dom: [Gagging sounds] Ehlboy: Why though?! That's...

(Eeewwww!)

(So dirty...)

Dom: What's the urgency that you need to have your shoes on at all times?

Jomms: But it's like the opposite for them

It's like if I come into the house and I try to take my shoes off they're like "No just keep your shoes on dude"

And I probably feel safer that way anyways, if I wear my shoes in there. [laughing]

Dom: From an Asian family, we don't really do allowances

I never understood that

Jomms: I didn't either

Claire: Same same

Domics: My friends were like

"I get like $100 a week." Like for doing what? "I don't know for existing?"

Like-

I ask my parents. "Why don't we get allowance?"

They didn't know what that meant. It's like "What's an all-ow-wance?"

Ehlboy: [Whispers] ...I- I got allowance...

[Everyone talking]

Claire: What? Ehlboy: Okay but- okay, but

the trade off was, I had to do all the chores in the house.

Jomms: So you're just getting paid?

Ehlboy: But my allowance was like three dollars a week

[pain]

[mixed mumbling]

Ehlboy: That was my allowance. Claire: That's- that's child labour

(Overlapped voices)

Dom: One of my main methods of gaining money as a kid was when I - uh-

picked white hair from my parent's heads [chuckling] (what?) (me too, me too)

And then they gave me money for each one I plucked out.

Claire: How much did you get? Dom: It started off like a quarter for a hair and then went down to like ten cents and five cents

and then went down to just like, a penny.

And then they got older- obviously they got more hair, and then they realized,

"Oh this is not a good model, cuz- I'm gonna get bald."

So then they just started dyeing their hair.

Food eating etiquette, yes. Ehlboy: I mean what you just learned with Jomm's mom, right?

If you eat real fast, they're like, "Oh you must really like the food"

So they just like dumped more food on your plate and then you're just like sitting there full.

Jomms: Yeah, so the trick is just eat really slow. Dom: I learn now

Claire: Yeah, we just have a bowl of rice or whatever and we have like all the side dishes in the middle

No one's gonna force you to like get more rice or like get more of this if you're done you're done

Jomms: Yeah, Koreans they'll keep feeding you until they're tired.

It's not a question like "Do you want more?" It's like "Oh, you *WANT* more"

Dom: The "Do" is silent in your sentences

Claire: Just for my family

I don't know about you guys, but every time when I have a friend who invites me for like dinner

Like parents are always like

"oh you have to bring something nice-

You know bring this wine bottle that we've been like saving up for like the past five years"

Yeah you- I invited you to I think it was New Year's dinner?

And then you brought was that like the the bird's nest?

Yeah, I don't even know what it is. Apparently supposed to be really healthy?

Jomm - Bird spit soup things

Dom: Yeah, like you gave it to my parents the instructions were in Chinese like

"we don't know how to eat this"

I'm like, okay. I'll ask Claire.

Claire: I don't know either,

my parents just told me to hand this over and I did.

Dom: Yeah, your mom makes a lot of leftovers

and that's like the mindset my family grew up with

like we always either make too much food

cuz they want to bring it for lunch like to work the next day.

We call it "Baon".

I don't like wasting food.

That's why we have a term for when there's like a little bit of food left and you gotta eat it clean

It's called "Simot".

Jomm: Killings. Dom: Yeah, kill it to the- *spec*.

Ehlboy: There's like the Chinese saying like

"every speck of rice and your bowl is like that's gonna be on your lover's face" or something

Dom: Lover's face? why-

Ehlboy: Or your like husbands or your wife's face.

Like it'll- like turn into something bad

[laughing]

Wait WAIT-

Dom: So if you don't finish your food your wife becomes ugly???

Ehlboy: Yeah, something like that- yeah.

Dom: Because it's generally known that Filipinos have like flat-ish noses

So like when every morning like instead of just saying like wake up

My mom would just walk into my room and pinch the bridge of my nose. I'm like

"WUh, what's HAPPENING?"

Jomm: I was like Captain America Super Soldier Serum all the time. I had a new liquid a new pill all the time

She every morning she would like Pat my legs down and stretch my legs out

Try to make me as long as possible, and I'm the tallest person in my family

(Laughing)

Claire: And it worked.

Ehlboy: Did you guys have to... Take uh- the Chinese medicine stuff you go to, like the

old chinese doctors, you have a bunch of drawers with like deer antlers and bugs

and there and then you go there you're like,

"I want my kid to be taller", and they're like, "Alright, I got you" and I'm like

Yeah, I'm just like weird stuff-

make a drink-

Claire: A potion?

Ehlboy: Yeah, like make a potion. It tastes disgusting.

Dom: A liquid chimera basically.

Ehlboy: We call that hanyang [spelling?]

I think that Koreans are obsessed with medication that makes you taller

Dom: I guess that's true cuz like all the Koreans in my high school and freedom like we're super tall

I was in between two Koreans Pak and Park

Pak and Park...

Yeah, so I was like in between him and like freaking graduation

It was just like (tall ass Korean) and then (me), and like (another tall ass Korean).

What about clothes? Claire: My mom would just steals my clothing

Especially because we're like about the same height like I would just go home like after - I don't know - University

I have like a month off and I visit going to my closet

Find like 10 things missing

and I look over on my mom and she's like

wearing the exact sweater that I wanted to wear

Dom: Does she do the thing where it's like when she's buying you a gift? She's buying it with the intent that she's gonna wear it too.

Ehlboy: Did you guys have a lot of tutors and stuff?

Dom: Tutors?- well, I did Kumon

Ehlboy: Where I grew up, pretty much every kid had a tutor every day and it's like for every subject if

Dom: If everyone has a tutor, what's the point of going to school?

Ehlboy: There is- there is no point going to school

They learn so much more.

Dom: But then all of the teachers feel like "Man you guys are so smart!"

Ehlboy: Yeah, if he just like "oh, man, all these kids are so smart!" Like no

We just have a lot of tutors helping and-

Dom: I just go to school twice.

Claire: We had like math test and stuff, right?

This is back in China. And I think I got like a 96 and then my mom was visiting from Canada

And the teacher called me out and had a meeting with my mom and she's like oh

This is your daughter's grade. And then my mom looks at it. It's like a 96 "oh this is pretty good!" and she's like

"Nah nah - That's the lowest mark in our class."

Ehlboy: Thats the lowest mark? Claire: What the frick?

Ehlboy: You get like the... we have like that check mark system -

You get like a check mark ✓ or a check plus ✓+, check minus ✓- :(

(Overlapped voices)

That's it - if you get the check minus ✓- it's like devastating, you're like

"OH NO - I'M dOing BAD!"

A minus - !? Let me just edit that into a plus + ...

*laughter!*

You guys get hit?

Ehlboy: Yes

Claire: Yah...

Dom: I didn't get hit. Claire: Only in China though

Dom: *I didn't get hit...!*

I got hit verbally and that was...

Claire: I got both!

Jomm: They made us write letters of apologies like if you get sent to the principal's office.

Dom: I wonder if like, principals that actually read that?

Ehlboy: Mine definitely did because you would read it

And if you would like show us our mistakes as we're writing.

And I was like

oh.

[laughing] Dom: So they critiqued your apology!? Ehlboy: You're already sorry man!

"You spelled this wrong."

Dom: Take the damn apology - holy crap!

Jomm: There was this is one time in high school

I was in my uh, social studies class or something like that, and I was just sitting there

It's really boring class

And then Gabe kicks the door open

Right? And he- my friend Gabe, uh, he kicks the door up and he's like "Ma'am. I need Jomm, right now!"

so so she looked at him like

"Okay, alright- what is it- what do you need him for?" He's like "It's an emergency"

So I walked out the doors I was like-

"Dude, Gabe what's wrong- did something - did something happen wh- what's wrong?"

And he's like "Dude - I just got you out of class! Isn't that sick?"

I was like,

*Oh fppth!*

And then we just- we just left and then we just want to go hang out till school was over.

When you go to a school, you know how you have to give them your contacts? Like your parent's or whatever?

*Who to call when there is an issue*; and I just put my grandpa so then cuz he can't speak English

[laughing] Claire: Wow...

There was a point where I- my friend's mom called me

In the middle like- the night

I'll call him uh, I'll call him Andrew

Dom: Or Randy? Jomm: Or Randy, his mom called me in the middle of the night and she was smart about this

She called me on Andy's cell phone. She took his cell phone

It called me like "hey, what's up?" And she's just crying like this. You just tell me something like

"Oh, my son is doing bad in the school because you the bad friend. I dont want him to talk to you."

I'm just like - oh my god- like, shes like-

"Promise me you will not talk to my son anymore."

Was like "I'mst - what?" I like - I didn't know what to say!

I've never been in this situation where a mom called me and called me a piece of *shit*.

Everyone: [Laughs]

Jomm: So I can't hang out with somebody else like-Jesus Christ.

I- I didn't know what to do

I'm pretty sure me and Randy had to hang out like

secretly or something. I don't know

Ehlboy: Dude, it's like Romeo and Juliet- [laughing]

Dom: Randy, Randy let down your hair!

I can't my mom bowl cut me!

[more laughter]

Jomm: I think for for me, like, a lot of my friends

They had a ban on relationships,

especially during high school, their parents were like