-Shut up!

-I can't wait to travel to the city and get my first gym badge.

It's gonna b--

Hey, how the hell do I get around this thing?

-Oh, Snorlax? You gotta wake him up to get him to move.

-Wait, can't I just walk around him?

-No, you freakin' idiot.

You gotta wake him up with a Poke Flute.

-And where do I get one of those?

-[groans] You can get one from that guy over there,

you freakin' jackass. Man, none of you kids know anything.

[dramatic music plays]

-Hey, that old guy said you have a Poke Flute.

Can I buy it off you or something?

Hey! Can I buy a Poke Flute?!

-I can't talk to you unless you walk in front of me, dumbass.

-[scornfully]: Fine.

-Where do you think you're going?

Let's battle!

-No, I don't wanna battle; I just wanna buy a Poke Flute.

-Well, I you want a Poke Flute,

you're gonna have to battle me first.

-Yeah, okay, whatever.

-Let's battle!

-All right, Pikachu, I choose you!

-Pikachu!

-Ha, you're done for this time.

Since our last battle,

I got my Pokemon up to Level 100.

Prepare to lose. Go, Metapod!

-The hell is that?

-(electronic voice) Metrosexual hipster.

Dresses like a flamboyantly gay man

to stand out from the rest of the male crowd,

but always ends up looking like a complete tool.

-No, the Pokemon.

-(electronic voice) My bad.

Metapod: completely useless Pokemon.

-Useless? My Metapod's level 100

and he's so bad-ass, that I stopped him from evolving

into a girly little butterfly. You don't even stand a chance.

-We'll see about that.

Pikachu, use Slam!

-[gallops]

Pika!

-All right, Metapod, it's time to destroy him.

Use Harden!

[ching!]

-Uh... all right, Pikachu,

use Thunderbolt!

-Pika...CHU!

-My Metapod's gonna get so hard in this battle.

-Ew.

-[chuckles creepily]

-Metapod, Harden!

-Use ThunderShock!

-Harden!

-Use Scratch!

-Let's hit him with a Harden!

-Hit him with a Slam!

-Penetrate his defenses with your Harden!

-Use Scratch.

-Harden! Harden!

How 'bout a Harden?

-Just one more hit and your stupid Metapod is dead.

-Metapod, use Max Potion!

-[growls deeply]

All right, Pikachu, come back!

Now, go, Charizard!

-[roars]

-All right, attack his Metapod with--

Wait, why can't I just use my Pokemon to attack you?

-Me? Uh... 'cause it's, uh...

against the rules?

-All right, Charizard, use Flamethrower on Metrosex--

-Okay, okay, fine! Here's your stupid Poke Flute.

-Wait, this isn't a Poke Flute.

-Look man, if you really wanted a Poke Flute,

you could've just bought one from the guy over there.

-[groans softly]

Here.

Now give me a damn Poke Flute.

-Of course, but first you have to battle me...

and my six Metapods.

-Motherfu--

-To see bloopers from this video and more,

like Pikachu peeing on Metapod,

click the link in the description below!

-Let me out of the ball, motherf--ker.

-Quick! Use subscribe attack by clicking the yellow button!

I sure do love this music.

Only problem is I always get this nostalgia boner

and it's not exactly a good time,

considering my mom's staring at me.

Hi, Mom. [Captioned by SpongeSebastian]