Today I want to introduce my friend, Mark.

He is a

relationship expert, dating coach, life coach

and we've been hanging out a little bit lately because

Mark has a Youtube channel as well

where he - you help primarily

women in relationships

and in difficult sort-of periods of their life

to improve relationships with the people around them,

right? Tell us a bit about what you do.

Exactly, exactly.

So I'm a life, dating and relationship coach

from here in Australia.

I met Emma at a Sydney event and just

loveliest, lovely woman.

And my channel is about empowering women

through growth, self-esteem and authenticity.

And basically by that

- what does that mean, 'authenticity'?

What does that mean?

Yeah so it just means about being real.

Being yourself.

So this is talking about the adjective 'authentic' as well.

So 'authenticity' is related to the adjective 'authentic'

which just means real. So talking about relationships

and particularly between women and their partners,

making them real and meaningful and honest, right?

Yes exactly. Honest, open.

Vulnerable and connecting.

Oh my gosh so many good words there!

We're going to pop some of the definitions of those

in the description box below this video.

But today, since you're a dating expert,

a relationship expert,

I wanted to talk to you about some of the phrasal verbs

and the idioms that we use in English to talk about

love and relationships.

So I want to be able to show my audience

you know, some really common language

and expressions that they can use to talk about love.

Sounds fantastic, I love it!

So the first thing that I thought that I'd introduce is

three phrasal verbs that are really common.

Okay, so that would be 'hang out'

'catch up'

and 'hook up'

So all of these phrasal verbs

can be used to talk about relationships in some way.

I want you to tell me

what's the difference between them,

when would we use them?

Yeah.

So 'hang out',

'catch up'

and 'hook up'

they can mean quite different things.

'hang out'

is a casual request to see you.

So it's a very basic request. I say

"Emma, I want to hang out with you."

That literally just means I'd like to see Emma

and spend some time with you,

spend some time with her.

So that could be a romantic relationship or it could be

just with friends, right?

Yeah.

Yeah and you have to know the context,

like if a man that you meet, say on Tinder,

on a dating app,

says "hang out"

it could - it's likely to be more a relationship context.

Whereas me and Emma are friends,

we're hanging out now!

So 'hang out' can be either

it basically means spend some time together,

let's see each other.

Okay so what about 'catch up'?

'catch up' is generally

saved for people you already know.

So if I don't see Emma for a month,

instead of saying "Let's hang out",

I'd probably say "Let's catch up"

So it's a similar term and it's usually used

with someone that you already knew previously.

The majority of the time

that someone say "Let's catch up"

they're saying

"I want to reconnect with you after a period of time."

Right.

And again, it could be friends

or it could be a relationship.

But friends can also catch up, right?

I can catch up with friends for coffee anytime I like!

Exactly.

And because you already know your friends,

you generally say "catch up" more than "hang out"

Well the other thing is if you haven't

seen someone for a while,

then 'catch up' is a really common phrasal verb as well

that you'd use to say "Did you know, we haven't

seen each other for ages, we should catch up!"

So what about 'hook up'?

So 'hook up' is used in a romantic context.

You wouldn't hook up with your friend.

You wouldn't hook up with your friend

unless you wanted to get romantic with your friend.

Which might get awkward!

So 'hook up' - is often - it can refer to any number of

romantic encounters.

It could be "I hooked up with him at a bar"

which usually means "I kissed him" at a bar.

Yeah usually it means kissing, right?

If your friend says to you "I hooked up with him"

sometimes it can be just kissing,

sometimes it can be more than that.

And also,

'hook up', it doesn't refer to

a relationship that is ongoing. It's like a one-off. Isn't it?

No. That's an important point. Yeah.

It's a casual, so a 'hook up' is a casual term.

Nothing is serious, at least not yet,

in the person's mind describing it.

If I say "I hooked up with someone",

it was a casual one-time encounter,

it's not to say I might not see them again,

in my mind right now, it's casual.

That's quite interesting because a lot of my audience,

you know the concept of like a casual hook up

doesn't exist for them in their cultures,

you know, it's not part of what they do.

So if that's the case for you,

then 'hook up' is probably not really

language that is really relevant.

It's only, you know, quick, informal,

non-serious relationships, right?

Yeah, exactly. Nailed it.

So one other aspect that I want to talk to you about

is the way that we use the verb 'fall'

in expressions about love,

because we say

"fall in love"

and we say

"fall for someone"

What does that sort of mean?

Why are we using that expression?

It's really about - you were saying before we chatted -

it's literally about falling

is where the phrase originally came from.

And it's about losing control of your feelings.

And losing control of things, so if I say

"I fall for you", it means

without my control,

without wanting to,

I'm just falling.

So when you say "fall for someone",

it's generally a bit more casual,

than "falling in love"

Yes.

When you fall for someone,

that could be after a few days,

"I'm really falling for her.

I've been on four dates with her.

I'm really falling for her."

And often used with 'starting' - "starting to fall"

Yeah.

So it's often right at that initial period in a relationship.

"I'm starting to get a lot of feelings."

Yep.

"I'm falling for her. She's amazing."

It's a good thing to be falling for someone or to be

falling in love, it's a really, really positive

way of talking about a relationship.

Yeah exactly and the next "falling in love"

comes along a bit later when things are more serious

and you've really got to know the person,

you form those deep bonds,

say "I'm falling in love with him" or even

"I've fallen in love with him"

Right, so we're changing tense there.

"I fell-" I actually said that wrong!

"I fell in love with him"

"I fell in love with him" in the past, yeah but no,

"I have fallen in love"

That tense, the perfect tense,

is the correct one to use then,

because it's an action that started in the past,

and is still relevant in the present.

If you said "I fell in love with that person",

by using the past tense,

it's sort of suggesting that maybe

it's an action that's finished in the past, so if you're

still in love with that person, then using

the perfect tense is right.

"I have fallen.."

Yeah. "I fell in love"

kind of means I'm not in love anymore.

Yeah or it was something that happened in the past.

Ages ago. Yeah.

Yep.

Good pick-up.

See why you're good at what you do?

Okay so,

once you've fallen in love, things have sort of

got pretty serious, right?

Yes.

So around the time when things start getting serious

in a relationship, we're talking about

engagements and marriages, right?

Yeah.

Expressions like

"pop the question"

so, if you heard someone say

"He popped the question."

You might be thinking 'What question, what's it about?'

What are they talking about, Mark?

So 'popping the question'

is just a common colloquial term

to getting down on one knee,

and asking for a hand in marriage.

So usually it's the man.

And you'll often hear at maybe a family event,

the people will be talking with each other,

and they will say - often to the woman -

"When is he going to pop the question?"

That's it. That's the question.

Or "Oh my god, when did he pop the question?"

Or maybe "How did he pop the question?"

Or "It's about time he popped the question."

Good one. Yeah.

So it's all about asking

basically that person for marriage.

Yep.

Popping the question.

So "the question",

by 'the' is making it

the only important question in the world

"the question" is about marriage.

"Will you marry me?"

Okay and yeah for some reason,

we use the verb 'pop' in that expression,

"to pop the question".

Then we say "Okay, so he's popped the question,

when are you going to tie the knot?"

So "tie the knot" literally means get married.

Walk down the aisle, as it were,

and then you tie the knot and have your wedding.

Do you know,

where that expression came from was because

- It's this thing, right?

Yep, or I thought it was a piece of string

that usually before, you know,

it was gold and it was silver, the string

around the finger symbolised the promise.

Really? Okay I thought that you cross your arms

and they do that thing

where they put that silk

I think that's an extension of it, it's the same kind of idea

so it's about tying some material or some string

to connect two people together.

That's beautiful.

Nice!

Okay so, tying the knot

is lovely. Then hopefully there is a really happy

marriage and relationship forever.

But we know that that's