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  • Hey, guys. So I know for a lot of you, the title is probably a little

  • confusing because it's, you know, off the pill and babies.

  • Well, it has nothing to do with actually being off, like, a pregnancy pill. This is a really unfortunate coincidence. Off

  • the Pill is a series of rants that I used to do, like, a long time ago.

  • Some of you guys might remember, but I know that there's a lot of you who are a little newer and

  • probably don't know what this is because I haven't done this in, like, I don't know, over five years.

  • So basically for those that don't know, the Off the Pill name came from the idea that those were the days that I didn't take

  • my ADHD medication, and basically I would just rant about any random thing that came to my mind.

  • Although sometimes they were a little too random, where I would, like, go a little too off-topic or I would just cut away to these random

  • skits or jokes, and usually it was just a really bad pun, so bad to the point where I had to explain it.

  • That's what he said. See what I did there? That's right. It's gonna be even bett-ber. See what I did there?

  • SHUT UP!

  • That was Smosh.

  • But yeah,

  • that's why I liked this series, because I could just be me speaking my mind. Not sure other people liked it as much as I

  • did, but anyway, the reason why I stopped doing this series and these types of videos and stuck more with, you know, scripted skits

  • and stuff was because, well, I...

  • I was a huge coward.

  • Because...

  • You know, "moo," because, like, cows' words are like, "Moo." It's like, "cow word."

  • Sorry.

  • See, because sometimes when I would do these videos and I was just, like, freestyling, I would say some things that were not too

  • well thought out. I mean, they were my honest opinions. But sometimes-- well, a lot of times they were very unpopular ones, and honestly,

  • I just got scared of making them as, you know, people got more and more politically correct.

  • I just didn't want to offend anyone. Well, not anymore. I'm bringing them back because I'm smarter now. I'm better now. I've evolved.

  • Okay, I'm no longer some little timid Caterpie hiding in his little Metapod. I'm Butterfree now. Sorry, guys.

  • I also used to make a lot of Pokemon references back then when it was a little more relevant, but Onix-ly,

  • I don't think people really appreciated them. Anyway, as I was saying before I went completely off-topic as usual,

  • I'm no longer afraid to do this series anymore because I think I really have gotten smarter.

  • You know, I'm not gonna say things that are just gonna offend people.

  • I know how to give an opinion now being a little bit more PC and most of all I just know how to not

  • upset the majority of the masses by giving a controversial opinion on something that I really-- I hate babies, okay?

  • (audience gasps)

  • There, you got it out of me. Okay, obviously, that's an exaggeration. I don't hate babies that much.

  • I know. I know it's like, what? Ryan's baby hater. How can you hate a baby?

  • I can't believe you're a baby hater. Oh, how can you hate a baby?

  • They're so innocent. Why are all of our hands up like this when we talk? Well, just hear me out real quick.

  • And this isn't quite what I wanted to talk about in this video.

  • But I just have to say this. Babies are

  • stereotypically one of the most innocent things in the world. Like, if you were to make a list of the most innocent things in the

  • world, it'd probably be like, babies and then, like, puppies and trees.

  • Puppies first, babies, trees.

  • F--k trees. And because they're so innocent, it's really hard to be critical of them.

  • But if you really break it down and you really think about it, babies, they-- they freaking suck...

  • figuratively and

  • literally, like, for one,

  • I'm at that very old age right now where a bunch of my friends and my classmates and peers around my age are starting to

  • have kids and they'll go on their social media and they'll post, like, these pictures of their newborn babies.

  • Like, I'm talking like right after their birth and write, like, a caption like, oh, my gosh. She's so beautiful.

  • Oh, he's changed my life for the better. He's such a cute baby. Uh, blah-blah-blah. I sound like an ass right now, but

  • almost at the point. Hear me out. Everybody in the comments are like, Oh, congrats. She's so beautiful. OMG. She's so beautiful. Congrats.

  • He's adorable. So cute. So cute. So coyote. Kawaii! And yes, I'm not saying that babies aren't cute.

  • I think a lot of babies-- not all, but I think a lot of babies are cute.

  • But newborns? I can't be the only one that thinks that newborn babies are a little gross looking.

  • They're all red and wrinkly, beady eyes gunk all over them. Yep, and now you can see why I stopped making this series.

  • I mean, this wasn't even the point I wanted to talk about in this video. Let's just get to that,

  • right?

  • The whole reason why I even started thinking about babies is because last week I came across this video about this new movement.

  • I don't know if you guys heard about it. It's called "theybies."

  • (trying different pronunciations) I don't know how they pronounced it. Sounds more like a disease to me than a movement. Ooh.

  • He's got the theybies. And basically, if you haven't heard about this movement, apparently,

  • parents are starting to raise their kids as these theybies, which basically means that they're raising their kids with no gender.

  • So they're not a boy or a girl. They just a theyby. Theyby.

  • I don't know why they had to call it that. It's not like babies is a gendered word.

  • You can still call them babies. But anyway, so basically these parents raising these babies or theybies, I guess, as gender-neutral,

  • so basically,

  • they're not telling them they're a boy or a girl as they're growing up because they want the baby to decide on its own which

  • gender it wants to be. 100% serious. This a real thing.

  • You can look it up, and you guys know, I don't normally speak out about, you know, more serious controversial topics.

  • But that's the thing. When I first saw this video, I didn't think it was serious.

  • I literally thought it was a joke, and I'm sorry.

  • I know this will offend a lot of people, especially the people who are already a part of this this movement.

  • But I think it's ridiculous. Look, I'm all for the transgender community and the gay community and the lesbian

  • LGBTQ...RSTUV. I don't know. There's too many letters now.

  • I'm all for people doing whatever the hell they want to do,

  • as long as it's not hurting other people. But to be honest, I think this one has gone a step too far.

  • I think it is harming people. It's harming the babies. These theybies are gonna be so confused.

  • Maybe not when they're with their parents, but when they start to meet other babies and those babies are like,

  • What do you mean? You're not a he or a she?

  • These parents are almost guaranteeing that this kid is gonna get bullied when he grows up. She grows up. They grow up.

  • That's why they called it theybies. And the thing is I like to think I'm a very open-minded person.

  • I'm always open to hearing new ideas. But this is like, come on.

  • You got to be a little

  • realistic here. A baby should not be able to make a decision as important as that.

  • In fact, a baby should not be able to make any decisions at all on other than which

  • toy to play with, and even then, we decide which toys the baby can choose from, because babies are freaking idiots.

  • There's a reason why we don't treat them like adults, because if we did, I'm pretty sure that would be considered abuse.

  • (snoring)

  • Wah. Wah, wah, wah. Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah.

  • Wah. Wah, wah, wah. Wah, wah, wah.

  • Wah. Wah, wah, wah.

  • Hey!

  • Shut up!

  • Wah.

  • Wah.

  • (grunts, farts)

  • Wait. Did he just--

  • (laughter)

  • Oh, you crazy, man.

  • (laughter)

  • Oh, you crazy, man.

  • Wah.

  • Damn. He's been down there for a while.

  • Yeah, like four minutes now.

  • He's crazy, man.

  • Wah.

  • And I know you can argue that these babies aren't actually making decisions till they're a little bit older, like when they can talk.

  • Whether that's like age two or three, I don't know when babies start talking.

  • But I'm pretty sure at that age they can still answer the question. Are you a boy or a girl?

  • Yes or no, or they can say boy or girl by then, and that's still way too young to be deciding anything.

  • I mean, even if they were four years old or five, I mean,

  • have you ever talked to a five year old before? They're still really, really dumb.

  • (doorbell rings)

  • Hey, good to see you again.

  • Hey, you too.

  • I see you brought little Timmy here with you.

  • I did. Say hi.

  • Hi.

  • He acts like he's so shy at times, but once you get him going.

  • What'd you do today, Timmy?

  • Um...

  • well...

  • My mom took me to the park, and then we went on the swings.

  • Yeah.

  • Then I swanged on the swings, and I swingeded.

  • Wow.

  • The swings, that sounds like so much fun.

  • And then-- and then, I, um...

  • Then I swingeded for two whole times.

  • Wow, two whole times. That's awesome.

  • And then--

  • and then

  • after there wa-- there was a green ball, and-- and the ball came by me and I kicked the ball.

  • I kicked it, and then it was rolling on-- on the grass, which was green,

  • like, the ball was green with the grass and the

  • green ball was green, and it was green, and it was green, and then he was greens so the ball-- and the ball was--

  • It's green, you idiot!

  • Okay, obviously,

  • I'm going a little over the top, but you guys get the point. Any rational person knows that little kids,

  • let alone babies, aren't developed enough to make these kind of life-changing decisions.

  • I mean, if this movement is really

  • About the kids and about these babies and giving them the power to choose, why stop at gender? What's next? Why not

  • let kids choose their own name?

  • Why did you get to choose? Instead of a normal name, why not just ask the kid when they first start talking, what's your name?

  • Why can't the kid be named Mama or Dada or goo-goo or gaga?

  • I guess it could be Gaga. Huh. Maybe that's why. Lady Gaga is a theyby. Now

  • we know. I guess that does make you more successful. See, and that's just the beginning.

  • Why do you get to dress your kid up when you go out in public?

  • What if it wants to run around naked. You don't know. Or why do you get to choose what the baby eats?

  • Shouldn't you just take it to the market and let it point at what it wants? Why do you put diapers on them?

  • Why do you potty-train them?

  • Why do you get to decide where the baby can and can't go poop? That-- that is butthole oppression, because

  • buttholes and babies should be able to express their buttholes

  • wherever they want. Where am I going with this? This why I need my meds. And by the way,

  • you better not be picking up,

  • carrying, or touching your baby in any way before it can speak, because if it can't speak it can't consent. If it can't consent,

  • that's assault. And also, the baby did not consent to be born. So you

  • basically kicked it out of its home. You did that. Okay, this is ridiculous. That is my point. You don't need a baby's consent.

  • We don't give babies those choices, because we know what's best for them, because babies and little kids are just useless, loud

  • disease-carrying moochers that depend on adults to take care of them and make decisions for them because they're just too stupid and just physically

  • pathetic to be able to survive on their own!

  • Wow, what is wrong with me? I really do hate kids.

  • Eh, you guys get the point. You can probably see why I

  • enjoy this series and why a lot of people get a little mad.

  • So, I'm sorry to all the people that I probably offended. Obviously, I'm half joking when I say that I hate kids.

  • I don't actually hate kids, but my points remain the same, and don't get me wrong. I do love kids.

  • In fact, I want to have a kid one day.

  • I just don't want to have a baby. But who knows, you know?

  • Maybe all it takes is for me to just mature a little and for me to experience it myself.

  • Maybe there's something I'm missing because I'm not there to experience it myself.

  • Maybe if I had a baby of my own, I'd be so in love with it and blinded by the

  • potential of what could be that I'd love every aspect of it,

  • even the negatives. Even as a newborn, maybe if it's my own kid,

  • I won't see the newborn as like this dirty, red, gross-looking, squishy thing and

  • I'll see the true beauty, the potential of what could be, the actual

  • miracle of life.

  • Yeah, no, that's-- that's still gross. That is-- come on, that is-- that's gross, right? I think definitely that's theybies.

Hey, guys. So I know for a lot of you, the title is probably a little

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オフザピル - 赤ちゃんとヘビィ!? (Off The Pill - Babies and Theybies!?)

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    公輔 に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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