And take that helmet off! It makes you look like a duck!

You want me to come home? The prodigal son? Your secret shame?

Well, I thought you'd grow out of this. I thought it was just a phase.

No, Dad, it's not a "phase" and it's not something I can just switch off.

I didn't choose the Dark Side. I was born this way!

Sith happens, man.

Bullshit! It's those mask-wearing hoods you've been hanging around with.

They're a bad influence.

We have a name, Dad! The Knights of Ren.

Oh, and FYI: All the OTHER Knights of Ren's dads are cool with it!

They love their sons, regardless of their Force orientation.

Why do you gotta be so Sith-ophobic? Why can't you be hip, like Grandpa?

My father-in-law was a frickin' asshole! First time we met, you know what he did?

He tortured me, then he froze me in carbonite!

After you shot at him! Mum told me the whole story.

Granpa prepares a beautiful meal for the three of you,

and the second you come in the room you open fire on him??

With no provocation?? You were lucky to get the carbonite!

If that'd been me I'd have thrown you in a Sarlacc!

Ben, you don't know the full backstory.

Have you got 12 hours to spare?

My name's not Ben, Dad, it's Ren. Kylo Ren.

I was gonna keep the "Solo", cos that's kinda badass, but...

"Kylo Solo"? It's just too many "O"s.

So what are you gonna do now, Kyle?

Oh I know what I have to do.

Will you... help me do it... pops?

Sure I'll help. I'd DIE to help!

You always were a nerf-herding laserbrain!

What the hell?

Oh crap! I was holding it backwards!

Hmm. That's a surprisingly tender gesture from an openly Sith person.

I'm trying to... manually Force-choke you.

I hope you realise he gets this from your side of the family.

[LEIA] So? How'd it go?

[HAN] Leia, I've got good news and bad news.

Bad news is, Kylo wouldn't turn and I had to kill him.

The good news is, we destroyed Starkiller Base, so if you're counting,

that's 3 for 3 in terms of planet-destroying super-weapons.

[LEIA] I knew you couldn't handle having a Dark-Sider as a son.

Which is the whole reason I've been so reluctant to come out of the closet.

[HAN] Oh, not you too! First my son, now my ex-wife??

What does that say about me?!

[LEIA] Han, being Sith isn't as big a deal as it used to be.

Recent surveys suggest roughly 10% of the galaxy is Dark Side inclined.

[HAN] None of my friends are Sith!

[LEIA] So you think. Have you ever actually asked any of them?

[HAN] Of course not! How's that gonna come up in conversation?

[LEIA] Look, if you don't start to change this outdated, Jedi-like attitude, you're gonna end up alone.

[HAN] Well that's pretty much exactly what my surname implies.

[LEIA] Wish I'd spotted that before our year-long Chewbacca custody battle.

[HAN] For the last time, he was MY Wookiee long before I met you!