(gasp) Or dim sum!

飲茶でもいい

Okay, it's 2 am, there's no dim sum right now.

夜中の2時よ、開いてないわよ

Well then tacos, but we'd better get dim sum in the morning.

じゃあタコスでもいい でも、朝は飲茶ね

Wait, so tacos or pho?

タコス？フォー？

Why can't we ever get like pancakes after drinking like white people do?

白人の人達みたいに パンケーキは嫌か？

Hey, I'm offended by that! My vote's for pho.

おい、傷ついたぞ 俺はフォーがいい

But I would say pancakes too.

まぁ、パンケーキもいいけど...

[laughter]

お兄さんは、どっちに一票？

Sir, what, what is your vote?

どっちでもないですね ソルロンタンに一票です

Well, I'd say neither. Best drunk food is Seolleongtan.

韓国のスープですよ

You know, Korean Oxbowl noodle soup.

まじか〜〜〜！

Daaaaaamn!

いいね、いいね

Okay! Okay!

コリアンタウンにいい店がありますよ？

I know a great spot in K-Town if you guys are interested

最っ高！決まり！

F*ck yeah! Let's go!

ソルロンタン・ソルロンタン

[chanting]

『バッド・アジア人』

Alright y'all, see you tomorrow, bye!

じゃぁな！また明日

A-Andrew??

Andrew？

Lana? What are you doing here? - We were just at Honeycutt.

Lana？なにしてんの？

Hey Lana, let's go.

ちょっとご飯に

[whoosh]

Lana行くよ

Hey, good morning.

(やべぇえ、、二日酔いだわ)

How you feeling?

（皆起きてる？動ける？）

Ahhh, pretty sh- [laugh] definitely don't recover as easily when we were younger.

（うん、15分ぐらいインスタで 昨日何してたか探ってた）

Um, the group's getting lunch. Do you wanna...do you wanna join?

（飲茶食べにいこう！忘れてないよね？）

I'll pass.

あぁ、おはよう

It'll be fun and I'm sure they'll be happy to see you again. It's been a while.

気分はどう？

Andrew, what are we doing? You and I both know nothing's changed.

あぁ...かなり... もう、若い頃みたいに強くないな

You talking about pho, or dim sum or-

皆で昼食べに行くけど...行く？

Can you not joke about this?

やめとく

Well, um, okay you're the one that came on to me last night, so I don't know why you're acting so serious right now.

大丈夫だよ、皆も会いたいよ 久しぶりに

I'm sorry. Okay, I was weak.

Andrew、私たちって何？ 何も変わってないでしょ？

And intimacy was never our problem.

フォーとか飲茶とか...の話？

Right, um cool. Remind me again, what was our problem? What was I lacking so much that you just couldn't be with me?

真剣なんだけど

I'm not having this argument again.

あぁ...昨日君から誘ってきたのに なんで急にそんな風なのか分からないんだけど

We're not even together. - Yeah, I'm very much aware of that.

ごめんなさい、私が弱かったの

Look, there's no doubt you have a lot to offer. You got a nice condo, a stable job. You've been a very good "Asian son".

別に夜が悪かった訳じゃない...

Thank you...? - You're...

そうか、じゃあ何が問題なんだ？ 俺の何がダメで、一緒にいれなくなった？

...comfortable, Andrew. You're playing it...

そういう話はもうしたくない

Safe?

付き合ってるわけじゃない

Yes!

あぁ、もちろん知ってる

Safe.

あなたは沢山与えてくれるって分かってる 素敵な家に、安定した仕事...

God, you gotta be kidding.

本当に素敵な”アジア人男性”

And as long as you get upset when you hear that instead of actually looking at your life,

どうも...？

there's no chance for us.

あなたって...

I'm sorry, again, for this.

落ち着くの...Andrew

I'll talk to you later.

すごく...

[trying to save himself] I hope you know comfortable is a good thing

安全？

People strive for comfortable. Someday you're gonna be on the spirit flight and you're gonna wish you had comfortable.

そう！

[Almost had it, man. So close]

安全なの

[Slo-mo of food porn]

まじかよ...

[OoOo is that ASMR?]

でも、そんな風な自分を 認めてないんだから...

I don't like dim sum!

私たちはうまくやっていけない

Dude, what??? [everyone is shocked]

ごめんなさい

I, think dim sum is...

またね

overrated. It's just all carbs and like one tiny little piece of gooey shrimp.

落ち着くっていいんだからな

Are you okay? [obviously not]

意外と貴重だぞ

You can't not like dim sum. That makes you like a bad Asian.

いつか探し求めて、後悔するんだからな

Someone just told me I was too good of an Asian, so...

飲茶なんて嫌いだ

Okay, I think whatever type of Asian you wanna be is perfectly fine.

おい、なんて？

No, no

飲茶は...

I agree with Tom. You are a bad Asian if you don't like dim sum.

過大評価されてる

I mean, that's like a black guy that doesn't like soul food or a white girl that doesn't like cold-pressed juice.

ただの炭水化物だ 小さいフニャっとしたエビのね

It's ingrained in your culture. - You have to at least pretend to like it.

大丈夫？

That's what I did when I first moved here.

嫌いな訳ないだろ？ そんなのアジア人じゃないぜ

Okay, you know what? I'm not gonna feed into these stereotypes any longer by living a lie. All right?

俺は、素敵すぎるアジア人らしいけど...？

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go visit my grandma and I'm gonna bring her pancakes

お前がどんなアジア人でも、俺は構わないぜ

and bacon [bc who doesn't like bacon]

だめよ、だめ

So, I guess he did sleep with Lana last night. - Big-time. - What???

Tomの言う通り 飲茶が嫌いなんてアジア人じゃないわよ

[rapping] Asian American aim for the perfect ballots. He came to America say hooray for the parents. Born in the States

黒人がソウルフードを嫌って 白人の子がフルーツジュースを嫌う様なもんだぜ？

But my grandmother raised me though before I learned to the talk. I learned the hand-water ratio.

身体に染み付いてるもんだろ？

Pancakes and bacon!

好きなふりはした方いいかもよ

...bacon... [when they don't know what bacon is]

最初、私はそうしてたわ

[so close, yet so far]

いいか？ もうこれ以上、嘘をついてまで ステレオタイプにはまって生きるのは嫌だ

Richard, it's your favorite cousin!

じゃぁ、失礼するよ おばぁちゃんのとこに行くんだ 手土産は....

DUDE! What are you doing? - I'm so sorry. - The door was closed. Why didn't you knock? - Sorry.

パンケーキだ

sor- I can- I'll just- let you- finish?

ベーコンもね

It's fine. I'll just do it later [erections don't go down that fast, do they?]

ありゃ、Lanaと寝たな...

I'm so sorry, man.

間違いない

But, you know,

えぇ？

you can always talk to me if you have any questions. That's what older cousins are for man. - Naw, you can't help me.

♫アジアンアメリカンはバランスが大切♫

Sure. I can I'm a guy too - man. I did the same thing. - Really?

♫故郷にサヨナラ、アメリカへ♫

Did you take lessons?

♫アメリカ生まれ♫

What...? - Yeah, lessons to learn how to dance.

♫赤ん坊の頃から、おばぁちゃんが育てた♫

OHHH

♫知恵を教わった♫

Dancing! - Yeah, dancing. What did you think I was...

やぁ、おばぁちゃん

[even the subtitles guy got yeeted]

ちょっと持ってきたんだ...えっと...

No, dude ew! GROSS... - I just-just saw two Asian girls in a dim room and... - It was a kpop video!

ちょっとした食べ物をね

Oh, how could I tell. You have a Kleenex - This is for allergies! It's spring, dude. Jeez gross...

アメリカの食べ物だよ

Why are you trying to learn how to dance?

パンケーキとベーコンだよ

All the Asian kids my school could dance. Apparently it's like a thing. - What, really? - Yeah, and proms coming up,

ベーコンは...

so all the other dudes are gonna be in the dance floor doing this like Kpop routine

豚.....バラ....？

And I kind of wanna try something.

Richardいる？

That's so weird. When I was your age, the stereotype was that Asians were all smart and had the best grades.

いるわよ

Yeah, but you're old. [roasted and toasted, sliced and diced]

ねぇ！宝くじは？

You know thanks to all these Dance Crew shows and Kpop and YouTube, everyone thinks Asians can dance. In addition to being smart.

Richard、愛しのいとこが来たぞ〜

It's like they want us to be everything.

おい！なんだよ！

That sucks. - Yeah, you had it easy. There were no dance beauties on YouTube yet, huh?

本当にごめん

When I was in high school, there was no YouTube yet. [Oof]

ドア閉めてんだから、ノックしてよ！

Holy shit, you're old. [BIG OOF]

ごめ...ごめん

Hilarious, right?

待ってるから...終わらせて...

I mean we had to grow up thinking all anyone saw us as were nerds with accents, and now they get to be freaking cool hip-hop

いいよ、後でやる

dancers. I take that any day. - No, I was talking about you almost walking on in your cousin getting off.

まじで、ごめん

Oh, yeah, it was seriously, right? I mean he should have been way more careful.

でもさ...

Kids are careless these days. They're too spoiled and they can watch porn anytime

何か分からない事があれば、力になるよ 年上の俺に聞けよ

they want. I mean, back then, I literally had to wait like 12 hours to download a 30-second clip of Leanna Scott, in 240p. [that's what I call dedication man]

無理だよ

Dude, I had to, like, Ocean's Eleven a plan to find the perfect window of privacy for my parents and sister.

無理じゃないって 俺も男だし、するよ

240p?

まじ？

What are you 80? Hey, I will f*cking destroy you 240p you little sh*t. [hey man, lets keep this PG. Oh wait]

なんかクラス受けてたの？

It is cool, he's trying to learn how to dance though.

は？

I mean like you said we didn't really get the chance to explore anything creative when we were younger.

ダンスのクラスだよ

I mean, can you imagine if our parents let us do something other than Kumon or Model UN?

おぉおお

Damn Liana Scott was hot. - IT IS HOT! Is hot!

ダンスかよ

Thank you for not barging in this time. - Pssh, shut up! Are you ready? - Yeah. - Let's go.

そうだよ...逆に何を....

[what a god]

違うっ！やめろ！！

Dude, that was amazing. How did you do that? You were sitting on the side the whole time?

いや、薄暗い部屋に....二人の女の子で... つい....

Okay, not a lot of my friends know this, but, way back when I was in high school

K-Popだよ！！

I was actually on a dance team. Before YouTube made it cool. - What? Why'd you stop?

これは、アレルギーだから！ 花粉だよ！

Lot of reasons. Wouldn't have been the smart choice. My parents definitely would not have supported it. Not even know I could pursue it

まじかよ...勘弁してくれ

I never saw any Asians doing it on TV and stuff. - Not even on, um, Myspace?

なんで急にダンスなんか

There was no Myspace when I was in high school. - What? How old are you?

学校のアジア人の奴みんな踊れるんだ

Okay, I'm not gonna bring you back next week. - Okay. Okay. I'm just kidding. - Look,

まさに注目の的だよ

I'm just happy for you when I saw that you were interested in learning. I don't know,

まじで？

I just thought about how I played it safe trying to be a good Asian when I was your age.

それに、プロムももうすぐだから...

And I didn't want you to do the same thing.

みんなダンスフロアであぁいうK-Popってやつ 踊るに決まってる

Yeah, well you don't play it safe anymore, right?

だから、俺も何かやってみたいなって

I mean you think so, but I don't know as you get older. It's hard to take chances-

おかしいな

Oh, no! - What, what? - This video was set in 240p.

俺がお前ぐらいの頃なんて アジア人は賢くていい成績の奴らっていう ステレオタイプしかなかったぜ

[playing along] Oh my god! - How am I supposed to post this? - I don't know. - Hold on. I got to go get the full res version

まぁ、おじさんだから...

I'll be right back. Go, go... Okay

ダンスの番組とかYouTubeのおかげか、 アジア人は踊れるって思われるようになったんだよ

Hey, uh, Kalina, right. Yes.

もちろん、賢くてね

Ah, you must be that guy trying to relive his high school days.

大変だよ...

No, not not at all. My name is Andrew. I'm Richards older cousin.

そりゃ最悪だ

Yeah, I got him these classes, but he's been kind of making fun of me for being older these days.

そんな事なかったでしょ？ まだYouTubeでダンスとか無かったから

So I kinda showed him what's up. - Oh

俺が高校の頃は、YouTube自体なかった

okay, so you're like a dance mom?

まじ...じじぃだな

Holy sh*t, well yeah, I guess I am. Well he had a great time and I just want say thanks.

面白い

Aw, that's wonderful to hear.

だろ？俺たちの頃なんて、 訛ったガリ勉ってステレオタイプだったのに

He did really? Well you both did.

今じゃイケてるダンサーだってよ 俺だって出来たわ

Um well, he'll see you next week. - Okay, sounds good.

いや、お前がいとこの見ちゃいけないとこ 見るとこだったってのがウケた

Oh and just so you know, our intermediate classes are on Thursday, so you don't have to use your cousin as an excuse to dance.

あぁ、だろ？ あいつ、もっと気を付けた方がいいって

Noted, um, actually when are your advanced classes? - Uh, let's not get ahead of ourselves, bye.

最近の子は危ないよな 恵まれすぎてるよ、ポルノだってすぐ手に入る

[YOOOOOOOOO]

俺の頃は、30秒の動画をダウンロードするのに 12時間も待ってたぜ

Still got it.

それも240pのね

What's up everyone, thanks for checking out Yappie. We hope you're enjoying this series so far.

俺も、家族からどうやってバレない様にしようか 練りに練ってたよ

Be sure to come back next week for a brand new, free episode right here on our channel, and share

240p？

It with a friend! And if you can't wait a week,

80歳かなんか？

you can actually binge the rest of the show by purchasing it at the Vimeo links down below

おい！ぶっ倒すぞ、この240p野郎！

Whether you're supporting by directly buying the show,

でも、ダンス始めるとかいいじゃん

through a monthly membership on patreon, or just being subscribed and tuning in week to week

俺らが若い頃は、そんな新しいものを 試すチャンスとかなかったし

We really appreciate you watching. Check out the Wong Fu store to get your exclusive

俺らの親が公文とかModel UN以外に 何かやらせてくれたと思うか？

Yappie merch, it all goes back to support in this channel, and we'll see you next week. Bye!

わぁ、Liana Scottって綺麗だったんだね