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  • All right, I need pho.

    あぁ、フォー食べよう

  • (gasp) Or dim sum!

    飲茶でもいい

  • Okay, it's 2 am, there's no dim sum right now.

    夜中の2時よ、開いてないわよ

  • Well then tacos, but we'd better get dim sum in the morning.

    じゃあタコスでもいい でも、朝は飲茶ね

  • Wait, so tacos or pho?

    タコス?フォー?

  • Why can't we ever get like pancakes after drinking like white people do?

    白人の人達みたいに パンケーキは嫌か?

  • Hey, I'm offended by that! My vote's for pho.

    おい、傷ついたぞ 俺はフォーがいい

  • But I would say pancakes too.

    まぁ、パンケーキもいいけど...

  • [laughter]

    お兄さんは、どっちに一票?

  • Sir, what, what is your vote?

    どっちでもないですね ソルロンタンに一票です

  • Well, I'd say neither. Best drunk food is Seolleongtan.

    韓国のスープですよ

  • You know, Korean Oxbowl noodle soup.

    まじか〜〜〜!

  • Daaaaaamn!

    いいね、いいね

  • Okay! Okay!

    コリアンタウンにいい店がありますよ?

  • I know a great spot in K-Town if you guys are interested

    最っ高!決まり!

  • F*ck yeah! Let's go!

    ソルロンタン・ソルロンタン

  • [chanting]

    『バッド・アジア人』

  • Alright y'all, see you tomorrow, bye!

    じゃぁな!また明日

  • A-Andrew??

    Andrew?

  • Lana? What are you doing here? - We were just at Honeycutt.

    Lana?なにしてんの?

  • Hey Lana, let's go.

    ちょっとご飯に

  • [whoosh]

    Lana行くよ

  • Hey, good morning.

    (やべぇえ、、二日酔いだわ)

  • How you feeling?

    (皆起きてる?動ける?)

  • Ahhh, pretty sh- [laugh] definitely don't recover as easily when we were younger.

    (うん、15分ぐらいインスタで 昨日何してたか探ってた)

  • Um, the group's getting lunch. Do you wanna...do you wanna join?

    (飲茶食べにいこう!忘れてないよね?)

  • I'll pass.

    あぁ、おはよう

  • It'll be fun and I'm sure they'll be happy to see you again. It's been a while.

    気分はどう?

  • Andrew, what are we doing? You and I both know nothing's changed.

    あぁ...かなり... もう、若い頃みたいに強くないな

  • You talking about pho, or dim sum or-

    皆で昼食べに行くけど...行く?

  • Can you not joke about this?

    やめとく

  • Well, um, okay you're the one that came on to me last night, so I don't know why you're acting so serious right now.

    大丈夫だよ、皆も会いたいよ 久しぶりに

  • I'm sorry. Okay, I was weak.

    Andrew、私たちって何? 何も変わってないでしょ?

  • And intimacy was never our problem.

    フォーとか飲茶とか...の話?

  • Right, um cool. Remind me again, what was our problem? What was I lacking so much that you just couldn't be with me?

    真剣なんだけど

  • I'm not having this argument again.

    あぁ...昨日君から誘ってきたのに なんで急にそんな風なのか分からないんだけど

  • We're not even together. - Yeah, I'm very much aware of that.

    ごめんなさい、私が弱かったの

  • Look, there's no doubt you have a lot to offer. You got a nice condo, a stable job. You've been a very good "Asian son".

    別に夜が悪かった訳じゃない...

  • Thank you...? - You're...

    そうか、じゃあ何が問題なんだ? 俺の何がダメで、一緒にいれなくなった?

  • ...comfortable, Andrew. You're playing it...

    そういう話はもうしたくない

  • Safe?

    付き合ってるわけじゃない

  • Yes!

    あぁ、もちろん知ってる

  • Safe.

    あなたは沢山与えてくれるって分かってる 素敵な家に、安定した仕事...

  • God, you gotta be kidding.

    本当に素敵な”アジア人男性”

  • And as long as you get upset when you hear that instead of actually looking at your life,

    どうも...?

  • there's no chance for us.

    あなたって...

  • I'm sorry, again, for this.

    落ち着くの...Andrew

  • I'll talk to you later.

    すごく...

  • [trying to save himself] I hope you know comfortable is a good thing

    安全?

  • People strive for comfortable. Someday you're gonna be on the spirit flight and you're gonna wish you had comfortable.

    そう!

  • [Almost had it, man. So close]

    安全なの

  • [Slo-mo of food porn]

    まじかよ...

  • [OoOo is that ASMR?]

    でも、そんな風な自分を 認めてないんだから...

  • I don't like dim sum!

    私たちはうまくやっていけない

  • Dude, what??? [everyone is shocked]

    ごめんなさい

  • I, think dim sum is...

    またね

  • overrated. It's just all carbs and like one tiny little piece of gooey shrimp.

    落ち着くっていいんだからな

  • Are you okay? [obviously not]

    意外と貴重だぞ

  • You can't not like dim sum. That makes you like a bad Asian.

    いつか探し求めて、後悔するんだからな

  • Someone just told me I was too good of an Asian, so...

    飲茶なんて嫌いだ

  • Okay, I think whatever type of Asian you wanna be is perfectly fine.

    おい、なんて?

  • No, no

    飲茶は...

  • I agree with Tom. You are a bad Asian if you don't like dim sum.

    過大評価されてる

  • I mean, that's like a black guy that doesn't like soul food or a white girl that doesn't like cold-pressed juice.

    ただの炭水化物だ 小さいフニャっとしたエビのね

  • It's ingrained in your culture. - You have to at least pretend to like it.

    大丈夫?

  • That's what I did when I first moved here.

    嫌いな訳ないだろ? そんなのアジア人じゃないぜ

  • Okay, you know what? I'm not gonna feed into these stereotypes any longer by living a lie. All right?

    俺は、素敵すぎるアジア人らしいけど...?

  • Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go visit my grandma and I'm gonna bring her pancakes

    お前がどんなアジア人でも、俺は構わないぜ

  • and bacon [bc who doesn't like bacon]

    だめよ、だめ

  • So, I guess he did sleep with Lana last night. - Big-time. - What???

    Tomの言う通り 飲茶が嫌いなんてアジア人じゃないわよ

  • [rapping] Asian American aim for the perfect ballots. He came to America say hooray for the parents. Born in the States

    黒人がソウルフードを嫌って 白人の子がフルーツジュースを嫌う様なもんだぜ?

  • But my grandmother raised me though before I learned to the talk. I learned the hand-water ratio.

    身体に染み付いてるもんだろ?

  • Pancakes and bacon!

    好きなふりはした方いいかもよ

  • ...bacon... [when they don't know what bacon is]

    最初、私はそうしてたわ

  • [so close, yet so far]

    いいか? もうこれ以上、嘘をついてまで ステレオタイプにはまって生きるのは嫌だ

  • Richard, it's your favorite cousin!

    じゃぁ、失礼するよ おばぁちゃんのとこに行くんだ 手土産は....

  • DUDE! What are you doing? - I'm so sorry. - The door was closed. Why didn't you knock? - Sorry.

    パンケーキだ

  • sor- I can- I'll just- let you- finish?

    ベーコンもね

  • It's fine. I'll just do it later [erections don't go down that fast, do they?]

    ありゃ、Lanaと寝たな...

  • I'm so sorry, man.

    間違いない

  • But, you know,

    えぇ?

  • you can always talk to me if you have any questions. That's what older cousins are for man. - Naw, you can't help me.

    ♫アジアンアメリカンはバランスが大切♫

  • Sure. I can I'm a guy too - man. I did the same thing. - Really?

    ♫故郷にサヨナラ、アメリカへ♫

  • Did you take lessons?

    ♫アメリカ生まれ♫

  • What...? - Yeah, lessons to learn how to dance.

    ♫赤ん坊の頃から、おばぁちゃんが育てた♫

  • OHHH

    ♫知恵を教わった♫

  • Dancing! - Yeah, dancing. What did you think I was...

    やぁ、おばぁちゃん

  • [even the subtitles guy got yeeted]

    ちょっと持ってきたんだ...えっと...

  • No, dude ew! GROSS... - I just-just saw two Asian girls in a dim room and... - It was a kpop video!

    ちょっとした食べ物をね

  • Oh, how could I tell. You have a Kleenex - This is for allergies! It's spring, dude. Jeez gross...

    アメリカの食べ物だよ

  • Why are you trying to learn how to dance?

    パンケーキとベーコンだよ

  • All the Asian kids my school could dance. Apparently it's like a thing. - What, really? - Yeah, and proms coming up,

    ベーコンは...

  • so all the other dudes are gonna be in the dance floor doing this like Kpop routine

    豚.....バラ....?

  • And I kind of wanna try something.

    Richardいる?

  • That's so weird. When I was your age, the stereotype was that Asians were all smart and had the best grades.

    いるわよ

  • Yeah, but you're old. [roasted and toasted, sliced and diced]

    ねぇ!宝くじは?

  • You know thanks to all these Dance Crew shows and Kpop and YouTube, everyone thinks Asians can dance. In addition to being smart.

    Richard、愛しのいとこが来たぞ〜

  • It's like they want us to be everything.

    おい!なんだよ!

  • That sucks. - Yeah, you had it easy. There were no dance beauties on YouTube yet, huh?

    本当にごめん

  • When I was in high school, there was no YouTube yet. [Oof]

    ドア閉めてんだから、ノックしてよ!

  • Holy shit, you're old. [BIG OOF]

    ごめ...ごめん

  • Hilarious, right?

    待ってるから...終わらせて...

  • I mean we had to grow up thinking all anyone saw us as were nerds with accents, and now they get to be freaking cool hip-hop

    いいよ、後でやる

  • dancers. I take that any day. - No, I was talking about you almost walking on in your cousin getting off.

    まじで、ごめん

  • Oh, yeah, it was seriously, right? I mean he should have been way more careful.

    でもさ...

  • Kids are careless these days. They're too spoiled and they can watch porn anytime

    何か分からない事があれば、力になるよ 年上の俺に聞けよ

  • they want. I mean, back then, I literally had to wait like 12 hours to download a 30-second clip of Leanna Scott, in 240p. [that's what I call dedication man]

    無理だよ

  • Dude, I had to, like, Ocean's Eleven a plan to find the perfect window of privacy for my parents and sister.

    無理じゃないって 俺も男だし、するよ

  • 240p?

    まじ?

  • What are you 80? Hey, I will f*cking destroy you 240p you little sh*t. [hey man, lets keep this PG. Oh wait]

    なんかクラス受けてたの?

  • It is cool, he's trying to learn how to dance though.

    は?

  • I mean like you said we didn't really get the chance to explore anything creative when we were younger.

    ダンスのクラスだよ

  • I mean, can you imagine if our parents let us do something other than Kumon or Model UN?

    おぉおお

  • Damn Liana Scott was hot. - IT IS HOT! Is hot!

    ダンスかよ

  • Thank you for not barging in this time. - Pssh, shut up! Are you ready? - Yeah. - Let's go.

    そうだよ...逆に何を....

  • [what a god]

    違うっ!やめろ!!

  • Dude, that was amazing. How did you do that? You were sitting on the side the whole time?

    いや、薄暗い部屋に....二人の女の子で... つい....

  • Okay, not a lot of my friends know this, but, way back when I was in high school

    K-Popだよ!!

  • I was actually on a dance team. Before YouTube made it cool. - What? Why'd you stop?

    これは、アレルギーだから! 花粉だよ!

  • Lot of reasons. Wouldn't have been the smart choice. My parents definitely would not have supported it. Not even know I could pursue it

    まじかよ...勘弁してくれ

  • I never saw any Asians doing it on TV and stuff. - Not even on, um, Myspace?

    なんで急にダンスなんか

  • There was no Myspace when I was in high school. - What? How old are you?

    学校のアジア人の奴みんな踊れるんだ

  • Okay, I'm not gonna bring you back next week. - Okay. Okay. I'm just kidding. - Look,

    まさに注目の的だよ

  • I'm just happy for you when I saw that you were interested in learning. I don't know,

    まじで?

  • I just thought about how I played it safe trying to be a good Asian when I was your age.

    それに、プロムももうすぐだから...

  • And I didn't want you to do the same thing.

    みんなダンスフロアであぁいうK-Popってやつ 踊るに決まってる

  • Yeah, well you don't play it safe anymore, right?

    だから、俺も何かやってみたいなって

  • I mean you think so, but I don't know as you get older. It's hard to take chances-

    おかしいな

  • Oh, no! - What, what? - This video was set in 240p.

    俺がお前ぐらいの頃なんて アジア人は賢くていい成績の奴らっていう ステレオタイプしかなかったぜ

  • [playing along] Oh my god! - How am I supposed to post this? - I don't know. - Hold on. I got to go get the full res version

    まぁ、おじさんだから...

  • I'll be right back. Go, go... Okay

    ダンスの番組とかYouTubeのおかげか、 アジア人は踊れるって思われるようになったんだよ

  • Hey, uh, Kalina, right. Yes.

    もちろん、賢くてね

  • Ah, you must be that guy trying to relive his high school days.

    大変だよ...

  • No, not not at all. My name is Andrew. I'm Richards older cousin.

    そりゃ最悪だ

  • Yeah, I got him these classes, but he's been kind of making fun of me for being older these days.

    そんな事なかったでしょ? まだYouTubeでダンスとか無かったから

  • So I kinda showed him what's up. - Oh

    俺が高校の頃は、YouTube自体なかった

  • okay, so you're like a dance mom?

    まじ...じじぃだな

  • Holy sh*t, well yeah, I guess I am. Well he had a great time and I just want say thanks.

    面白い

  • Aw, that's wonderful to hear.

    だろ?俺たちの頃なんて、 訛ったガリ勉ってステレオタイプだったのに

  • He did really? Well you both did.

    今じゃイケてるダンサーだってよ 俺だって出来たわ

  • Um well, he'll see you next week. - Okay, sounds good.

    いや、お前がいとこの見ちゃいけないとこ 見るとこだったってのがウケた

  • Oh and just so you know, our intermediate classes are on Thursday, so you don't have to use your cousin as an excuse to dance.

    あぁ、だろ? あいつ、もっと気を付けた方がいいって

  • Noted, um, actually when are your advanced classes? - Uh, let's not get ahead of ourselves, bye.

    最近の子は危ないよな 恵まれすぎてるよ、ポルノだってすぐ手に入る

  • [YOOOOOOOOO]

    俺の頃は、30秒の動画をダウンロードするのに 12時間も待ってたぜ

  • Still got it.

    それも240pのね

  • What's up everyone, thanks for checking out Yappie. We hope you're enjoying this series so far.

    俺も、家族からどうやってバレない様にしようか 練りに練ってたよ

  • Be sure to come back next week for a brand new, free episode right here on our channel, and share

    240p?

  • It with a friend! And if you can't wait a week,

    80歳かなんか?

  • you can actually binge the rest of the show by purchasing it at the Vimeo links down below

    おい!ぶっ倒すぞ、この240p野郎!

  • Whether you're supporting by directly buying the show,

    でも、ダンス始めるとかいいじゃん

  • through a monthly membership on patreon, or just being subscribed and tuning in week to week

    俺らが若い頃は、そんな新しいものを 試すチャンスとかなかったし

  • We really appreciate you watching. Check out the Wong Fu store to get your exclusive

    俺らの親が公文とかModel UN以外に 何かやらせてくれたと思うか?

  • Yappie merch, it all goes back to support in this channel, and we'll see you next week. Bye!

    わぁ、Liana Scottって綺麗だったんだね

All right, I need pho.

あぁ、フォー食べよう

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