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  • You know what we all have?


  • (murmuring) existential loneliness


  • I'm very vocal about going to therapy and something that comes up again and again and again


  • is that the messages we received as children carry themselves into our adulthood.


  • Daddy! Look what I found! Can I keep him?


  • Oh, no sweetie. I'm sorry - we move too much to keep any animals. But you know what? When you grow up, you can have as many cats as you want. Okay?

    ああ、それは無理だな、ごめん。- 引越しが多いから動物を飼う余裕がないだろう。でも、大人になったら好きなだけ猫は飼えるぞ。

  • I can have as many cats as I want when I grow up.


  • How our fathers treat our mothers greatly influences how we view relationships and what we accept as normal.


  • For daughters, this often affects our self esteem. We see how our father treats our mom, and however our mom responds, that's what we learn relationships are and what we should tolerate.


  • Our mothers are our role models and we look to our fathers to see how we should be treated.


  • For sons, they often look to their father to see what being a man means and how they should treat their partners.


  • And this is why we're often attracted to people who resemble our parents. Not only because it's familiar, but it's literally the definition of the love we were raised on.


  • Whether these qualities are good, like charismatic, intelligent, and kind


  • or bad, like emotionally unavailable, uncommunicative, or distant. We repeat our past patterns with new partners.


  • I'll prove to you that I'm worthy of love! Love me!


  • Now, whatever your individual issues may be, I urge you to at least be aware of them.


  • 'Cause there's bound to be both positive and negative aspects of what we learned from our parents.


  • And if you find yourself often choosing partners who only mirror the negative qualities, then it's time to look at the choices you're making.


  • Because whether or not we realize it, we are instinctively making choices in our adult lives that reinforce our past traumas.


  • And who wants that?


  • - Pffft, not me. - Dude, me either.

    -はっ、まさか -私もよ

  • I know right? I feel like I do always go for people who have the most negative aspects of my parents.


  • Ohmigod, girl, tell me about it. I am so tired of dating my dad.


  • AMEN


  • Now hit that like button!


  • One of the easiest ways to kind of figure out what patterns you're reinforcing is to make a list. I love lists!


  • First write out the negative and positive qualities of both your mother and your father. And then you make similar lists for the three most significant relationships in your life.

    まず両親のネガティブなところとポジティブなところを書き出します。そして人生の中で最も重要だった恋愛関係を 3 つ書き出し、似たようなリストを作ります。

  • Now look at these lists, and see what they all have in common in both areas.


  • Being self aware is great! But actually breaking these patterns takes a lot of time and hard work and reflection and constant checking in and conscious decision making and even I have not really gotten there yet.


  • And I've been aware of my own issues for like 10 years. BUT getting better every day!

    そして私は自分の問題に 10 年くらいずっとわかってました。でも、日に日に良くなってますよ。

  • I'm Anna Akana. Stay awesome, Gotham.


  • Don't leave! Because thank you to audible for sponsoring today's episode. Audiobooks are great for helping you be a better you.

    まだ終わってません!今回のエピソードは Amazon audible の提供でお送りしました。オーディオブックはあなたの改善に役立つでしょう。

  • Whether you want to feel healthier, or get motivated, or learn something new.


  • I read roughly 70-100 books a year,

    私は年に 70 ~ 100 冊の本を読むんですが、

  • and at least 10 of those are audiobooks that I listen to while I'm stuck in copious amounts of LA traffic, doing laundry, or stretching

    少なくとも 10 冊はオーディオブックで読んでます、ひどい LA の渋滞に巻き込まれたり、ランドリーの時やストレッチの時に聞いています。

  • I'm currently listening to Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood and it is eye opening.

    最近はロビン・ノーウッドの「Women Who Love Too Much」を聞いていて、ハッとさせられます。

  • Y'all know I love the opportunity to work on myself and this audiobook has shed a lot of light on my relationships and the choices I made in them.


  • With audible, you get a free credit every month that's good for any audiobook regardless of price and unused credits roll over to the next month.


  • And if by chance you don't like your audiobook, you can exchange it with no questions asked.


  • You can go to or text "Anna" to 500-500 to start your free 30 day trial.

    「Anna」と 500-500 番までテキストを送れば、30 日の無料トライアルが体験できます。

  • That's AUDIBLE.COM/ANNA or you can be a millennial and text "Anna" to 500-500.

    AUDIBLE.COM/ANNA ですよ。「Anna」と 500-500 番までテキストを送れば、30日の無料トライアルが体験できますからね。

You know what we all have?


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B1 中級 日本語 ブック オーディオ anna 恋愛 側面 リスト

自分の恋愛パターンを見直すには?父親問題 (daddy issues)

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    kiki に公開 2019 年 04 月 26 日