>> RUDY MANCUSO: I'm going to the cafe on 34th street. >> TAXI DRIVER: Welcome to the musical taxi.

>> TAXI DRIVER: Are you catching my drift?

Just tell me where you need to go, you don't need Uber or Lyft.

I'm more exciting, inviting, [BLEEP] weird and enticing, it's a lucky situation, tell me what's your destination?

>> RUDY MANCUSO: Um... the cafe on 34th street.

>> TAXI DRIVER: If you're gonna ride with me, well then you better [BLEEP] sing.

I can't understand your words unless I hear the music ring, in my car.

>> RUDY MANCUSO: I'm not going to sing.

>> TAXI DRIVER: Yes you are.

>> RUDY MANCUSO: Alright, I'm gonna go.

>> TAXI DRIVER: My answer's no.

>> RUDY MANCUSO: Bro, are you crazy?

>> TAXI DRIVER: Don't be lazy.

>> RUDY MANCUSO: Are you just rhyming with everything I say?

>> TAXI DRIVER: Okay.

>> RUDY MANCUSO: What?

>> TAXI DRIVER: [BLEEP].

>> RUDY MANCUSO: Um.. >> TAXI DRIVER: Bum.

>> RUDY MANCUSO: Can we please get the [BLEEP] out of here, I really need to go.

I have [BLEEP] to do all day, you're making things move really slow.

>> TAXI DRIVER: Now we're talking! See you're singing, doesn't that feel really good?

Before we go I gotta know, are you from this neighborhood?

>> TAXI DRIVER: Let's be friends. >> RUDY MANCUSO: I don't really feel like talking. I just want to get some food.

>> TAXI DRIVER: Don't be rude. >> RUDY MANCUSO: This is getting kind of weird. Now I'm in a [BLEEP] mood.

>> TAXI DRIVER: Okay, we'll go. >> RUDY MANCUSO: Please, let's go.

>> TAXI DRIVER: I really want to be your friend, so tell me a little about yourself.

I'm telling you that in the end, all that really matters is friendship.

Do you feel lonely?

>> RUDY MANCUSO: Lonely? >> TAXI DRIVER: Lonely.

>> TAXI DRIVER: And if you do then I feel the same.

You got a girlfriend?

>> RUDY MANCUSO: Girlfriend? >> TAXI DRIVER: Girlfriend.

And if you do then tell me her name. Tell me.

>> RUDY MANCUSO: I don't feel so comfortable.

>> TAXI DRIVER: Just tell me because I need to know.

>> RUDY MANCUSO: We just met, so please get going.

>> TAXI DRIVER: You gotta open up sometime.

>> RUDY MANCUSO: Don't think you need to know. >> TAXI DRIVER: I need to know.

>> RUDY MANCUSO: Alright. I don't have a girlfriend.

Alright? Can we please go?

>> TAXI DRIVER: I used to be in love with a girl, until she had sex with my brother.

She was my favorite person in the world. I even introduced her to my mother.

>> RUDY MANCUSO & TAXI DRIVER: I feel your pain.

>> RUDY MANCUSO: That really sucks. >> TAXI DRIVER: It really sucks

>> RUDY MANCUSO & TAXI DRIVER: It made me go insane.

What a [BLEEP].

>> RUDY MANCUSO: She sounds like a... >> TAXI DRIVER: She was a...

>> RUDY MANCUSO & TAXI DRIVER: [BLEEPS...]

[BLEEP]!

[BLEEPS...]

[BLEEP]!

>> RUDY MANCUSO: Damn man, that sucks.

I kind of know how you feel. I've had a girl break my heart.

[CLAPPING]

>> TAXI DRIVER: Who needs those girls. I say we go find some models. I'll take you out tonight, we'll get a table and bottles on me.

>> RUDY MANCUSO: You can do that for free?

>> TAXI DRIVER: We'll see.

>> RUDY MANCUSO: I mean I guess I'll come out. I don't have [BLEEP] to do.

But, I'll be honest with you man the thought of going out with you is not fun.

>> TAXI DRIVER: Don't worry man. I don't have a gun.

Yes I do.

No I don't.

Yes I do.

Please trust me.

>> RUDY MANCUSO: Are we gonna find some [BLEEP]?

>> TAXI DRIVER: At least 2 or 3.

>> RUDY MANCUSO: Are we gonna take some pictures?

>> TAXI DRIVER: We'll post them on IG.

>> RUDY MANCUSO: Okay, I'm down. Let's make this happen.

>> RUDY MANCUSO & TAXI DRIVER: Do-do-do.

I think we just became friends.

Do-do-do.

Maybe we should start holding hands.

Do-do-do.

No. That would be [BLEEP] weird.

I'm just happy that we met.

>> RUDY MANCUSO: Alright, can we go now?

>> TAXI DRIVER: Yeah, let's go.

[EXIT MUSIC]