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  • Kevin Hart: I HAD AN IMAGINARY FRIEND--

  • EVERYBODY HAD IMAGINARY FRIENDS, THOUGH.

  • WHEN YOU WERE A KID, EVERYBODY HAD IMAGINARY FRIEND.

  • THEY DID.

  • AND YOU KNOW WHAT?

  • I DON'T THINK PARENTS SHOULD ALLOW THEIR KIDS TO HAVE

  • IMAGINARY FRIENDS.

  • I DON'T BECAUSE THAT JUST MEANS THAT YOUR CHILD IS A STEP CLOSER

  • TO BEING CRAZY.

  • IT DOES.

  • THAT'S ALL IT MEANS.

  • IT MEANS YOUR CHILD IS ONE STEP CLOSER TO LOSING HIS DAMN

  • MIND.

  • HONESTLY, THIS IS WHY I THINK BLACK PEOPLE AND WHITE PEOPLE--

  • THIS IS WHAT I THINK WE'RE DIFFERENT AT.

  • I DO.

  • I THINK WE'RE ALL REALLY DIFFERENT HERE.

  • BECAUSE WHITE PEOPLE-- WHEN THEIR KIDS HAVE IMAGINARY

  • FRIENDS THEY GO ALONG WITH IT.

  • THEY THINK HE'S SPECIAL.

  • HE'S IMAGINATIVE.

  • HE'S GONNA BE SOMEBODY.

  • YEAH.

  • [LAUGHTER] BLACK PEOPLE, IT'S NOT THE

  • THING-- IT'S NOT THE SAME.

  • WE THINK HE'S STUPID THAT'S ALL.

  • THERE'S NO GAME AT ALL.

  • WE THINK HE'S DUMB.

  • [LAUGHTER] WHITE PEOPLE PLAY, YOU KNOW?

  • LITTLE BOY WILL COME OUT.

  • "HEY, MOMMY, LOOK WHAT ANDY'S DOING.

  • LOOK WHAT ANDY'S DOING."

  • [LAUGHTER] "WELL, WHERE-- WHERE IS HE,

  • HONEY, I DON'T SEE HIM.

  • IS HE HIDING FROM ME?

  • I DON'T-- [LAUGHTER]

  • I DON'T THINK HE WANTS TO PLAY WITH ME.

  • WHERE-- WHERE IS HE?" [LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

  • "YOU CAN'T SEE HIM, BECAUSE HE'S ON YOUR BACK, MOMMY."

  • "OH, MY GOD, OH.

  • OH, MY GOD, HE'S HEAVY.

  • WOW, LOOK.

  • I CAN-- I CAN BARELY STAND UP.

  • LOOK AT MY LEGS SHAKING.

  • OH, MY GOD, HE'S-- HE'S SO HEAVY.

  • IS HE HUNGRY, HONEY?

  • LET'S FEED HIM BROWNIES.

  • LET'S GO FEED HIM."

  • [LAUGHTER] THE MOM BAKES BROWNIES, COMES

  • OUT AND FEEDS HIM.

  • "HERE, DOES HE LIKE THEM?" THEY'RE FALLING ON THE FLOOR.

  • [THUMPING SOUND] [LAUGHTER]

  • "HE LOVES THEM, MOMMY.

  • HE LIKES THEM.

  • IT'S GREAT."

  • I DON'T GIVE A DAMN WHAT YOU SAY.

  • ANY TIME I A CHILD COMES AT YOU AND STARES AT YOU WITHOUT

  • BLINKING, GET THE HELL OUT THE HOUSE.

  • SOMETHING GETTING READY TO HAPPEN.

  • HE GOT A BOMB OR SOMETHING IN THERE.

  • RUN.

  • THAT'S ALL I'M SAYING.

  • BUT IT DOESN'T HAPPEN THE SAME WITH BLACK PEOPLE.

  • IT'S NOT THE SAME.

  • YOU KNOW.

  • BLACK PEOPLE, IT'S DIFFERENT.

  • A LITTLE BOY WILL COME OUT, YOU KNOW.

  • "HEY-- HEY, MOM.

  • HA-HA!

  • AH!

  • HA-HA-HA!

  • MA!

  • [LAUGHTER] MA!"

  • 'CAUSE BLACK PEOPLE DON'T REALLY LISTEN TO THEIR KIDS

  • THAT MUCH.

  • [LAUGHTER] "MA!

  • LOOK-- LOOK WHAT MALCOLM DOING, MOM.

  • HE CRAZY.

  • LOOK AT HIM, PLAYING HIS STUFF.

  • LOOK HOW CRAZY HE IS."

  • [LAUGHTER] "WELL, WHERE--

  • WELL, WHERE THE HELL IS MALCOLM AT?"

  • "HE-- HE RIGHT HERE ON THE COUCH TELLING ME JOKES AND STUFF.

  • HE'S SILLY, MOM."

  • [LAUGHTER] "HE-- HE ON MY COUCH.

  • HE ON MY COUCH.

  • [LAUGHTER CONTINUES] COME HERE.

  • COME HERE, SPOON.

  • COME HERE.

  • I DON'T HAVE MY GLASSES ON.

  • YOU SEE SOMEBODY ON THAT DAMN COUCH?

  • [LAUGHTER] YEAH.

  • I KNOW DAMN WELL I AIN'T CRAZY.

  • I KNOW I AIN'T SEEN NOBODY.

  • AH, WHAT'S HE TELLING YOU, BABY?

  • WHAT'S HE SAYING TO YOU?" "HE'S TELLING ME THERE'S--"

  • NO, COME HERE.

  • DON'T TELL MOMMY FROM THERE.

  • COME TELL MOMMY IN HER EAR.

  • I WANNA KNOW.

  • COME HERE, COME HERE.

  • COME HERE.

  • WHAT'D HE SAY TO YOU, BABY?

  • TELL ME RIGHT HERE IN MY EAR.

  • I'M LAUGHING ALREADY.

  • I KNOW HE CRAZY.

  • COME HERE, WHAT'D HE SAY?" [APPLAUSE]

  • "GET YOUR DUMB ASS UPSTAIRS.

  • GET UP THE STEPS!

  • YOU CAN IMAGINE WHERE THE HELL MALCOLM IS, BUT YOU DON'T KNOW

  • WHAT ONE PLUS ONE IS, YOU DUMB ASS BASTARD."

  • YOU'LL HAVE BEEN A GREAT CROWD.

  • MY NAME IS KEVIN HART.

Kevin Hart: I HAD AN IMAGINARY FRIEND--

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ケビン・ハート - イマジナリーフレンズ - コメディ・セントラル・プレゼンツ (Kevin Hart - Imaginary Friends - Comedy Central Presents)

  • 265 8
    Howard Lin に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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