It's not a thing you will ever regret.

And if you think you will, you're wrong.

IAN: In the church, we need to talk about chastity.

lots of people feel awkward when they bring up this idea

up or when your parents bring it up.

But we need to talk about it in the correct way.

KWAKU: We're gonna talk about sex, pornography,

masturbation, and you know what, if you're

Googling something you shouldn't be Googling

and you got us instead, keep watching, you

probably need it.

IAN: Yeah, because Shelley's face is a lot

more beautiful than those weird Google searches.

KWAKU: A lot more beautiful.

IAN: When we're talking about chastity,

lots of people think, “So how far can I go?"

Bad mentality to start out with.

That's a bad approach.

What you need to think is, “What is chastity,

what is virtue, what is purity?"

It's when you want to be a good person,

number one, but also when we're talking

about chastity, you need to feel like you

can be close to the Savior.

If you're doing something and you don't

feel close to the Savior, and it's kinda

veering you towards inappropriate thoughts,

just take a pivot and go the opposite direction.

KWAKU: We've all been in high school and

we know when we're having a lot of friends

who are having sex and they tell you stories

and you're like, “Oh I know her, oh I

know him, that's weird.”

The thing is, we are a peculiar people.

We are a very strange people.

We are Latter-day Saints.

We do not live by the world's standards.

And so this idea that it's not cool or it's

silly or it's too hard to wait until you're

married to have sex is ridiculous.

It's not to hard.

It may seem like it's too hard sometimes

but what do we believe?

We believe that we are children of God and

that we are capable of amazing things.

And if you're a child of God then you can

overcome those sexual pressures.

Jesus Christ was nailed to a cross for us.

He overcame that.

We can overcome some impure thoughts.

IAN: I know people really do have a hard time

with things like pornography and other things

like that.

And it can be hard when it gets to the point

where it's an addiction.

However, our conversation needs to be when

people first have those encounters, how can

we treat them?

What's the right way and what's the wrong

way to do it?

Cause I think when someone comes up to you

and they say, “Hey, this happened to me

last week and I saw this...” and we just

immediately shun them and we lose friendship

with them, that's the wrong way and the

right way is, you can come back.

SHELLEY: So, like how you were saying about

in High School how we're different and in

college we're different by not having sex

before marriage and all of this stuff--

a lot of times people, even members of our own

faith, can call you, “Oh you're such a

prude for not wanting to do this or you're

such a prude for not wanting to do this.”

I don't think there's a thing as being too prude.

There's no way you're ever inconveniencing

somebody else by being comfortable in what

you're doing with another person.

KWAKU: I just wanted to say, my friends who

are not LDS but who have had sex…

I have a great friend who tells me all the time,

“Ah, I wish I would've waited until

I was married.”

Cause now that he's done something which

is a very important act,

it's a very emotional act, right?

It's the act that brings human beings to exist on earth.

And if you're just doing it with people

you don't love, who you're not going to

be with for the rest of your life,

it's gonna have an emotional impact on you

and you're going to regret it.

And he regrets it.

I have these conversations all the time where

they regret it because they now know,

“Oh, my children are going to do this and they're

going to have these terrible feelings and

I've done it.”

So if you ever think that you should do it

because you have to or because your boyfriend

or girlfriend really wants to--

IAN: It's a moment of commitment

KWAKU: It's not a moment of commitment.

It's not.

And if that's the only way to keep their love,

I don't really think they love you

that much, okay?

If they can't respect your faith and your

conviction, to stay…

I don't want to use the word pure cause

that sounds a bit...

SHELLEY: Stay in line with what the Lord wants.

KWAKU: Yeah.

Then I don't think they're the person

you should be with. I don't think so.

SHELLEY: You'll never regret being chaste

and virtuous. It's not a thing you will ever regret.

And if you think you will, you're wrong.

IAN: Yeah, and it brings me closer to my wife

every single day of my life.

It's just so much more gratifying in my

heart to know that I am following what the

Lord wants me to do and I feel good about it.

KWAKU: So, the idea of personal chastity-

I have a rule and… if you end up kissing me, haha

if you play your cards right,

you might get to meet Abraham Lincoln and

George Washington.

You can't kiss for more than a minute.

And you know, that's my--

Who's Abraham Lincoln and George Washington?

IAN: You've left the public not thinking

about a minute of kissing but about Abraham Lincoln.

KWAKU: Here's why.

George Washington brings freedom.

But Abraham Lincoln, he'll wreck a country in half.

But it'll be really good for ya.

SHELLEY: I don't understand!

IAN: This is great, keep going.

KWAKU: The point is, I actually believe...

I will not kiss you longer than a minute.

I think like 45 seconds is so long.

Some people go for 10 minutes, 15 minutes, and hour

I think, from my personal opinion, I don't

feel comfortable for going longer than,

really than 30 seconds, but a minute is max.

You stop then you go get some Chinese food

or something

IAN: Yeah, and don't kiss after the Chinese food.

Shelley: That's a date with KWAKU.

Call 1-800-date-with-KWAKU.

Ian:One minute kiss and Chinese food you'll never forget

Kwaku: Don't get Chinese food before.

Then it's like Paul Pot and Jackie Chan.

Shelley: When talking about virtue and chastity

in broader terms than just like giving yourself specific

things and lines that you can't cross when

you're making out with a girl or whatever.

I heard once that a really big part of chastity

is honoring your virtue and honoring his priesthood.

Ian: Also, have a conversation with your significant

other about chastity if you're not married.

Because you don't want it to get to the point where it's

"oh we havent established ground rules.

Oh this is really awkward and I feel really

worried about this." Just don't run into that issue.

Pray about them, make sure that there's

goals that are set and everything's gonna turn out okay.

Kwaku: And I also want to say that we've all probably

gone a little farther than we'd like in certain regards.

You know you go than a minute, you don't feel good

But again, you know, it does not mean you're

a bad person, it doesn't mean God loves

you less, it doesn't mean you

walk around with this, you know, this shiny

bright "A" on your shirt.

No one can tell, it's okay, just know you

you dont have to keep choosing that.

It's like you're going to take a brick

and keep hitting yourself in the face, I mean,

once has been enough. Shelley: don't keep doing that!

Kwaku: Don't keep hitting yourself, like

"ah gosh, why did I do that? BANG!"

Well, Sir, you're going to get a broken jaw.

Shelley: I think if you take it to your bishop,

I think that's a really great idea.

If you feel like you've done something wrong,

and it's hurting you and you feel really guilty,

take it to your bishop or your priesthood leader.

Or even if you're younger, go to your parents

and see if they feel like you need to go to

see the bishop and he can help you through

the repentance process

Kwaku: Bishops are so cool

Ian: If you are feeling guilty, just go to the bishop

and he will clear everything up for you.

It could be a process, it's not going to

be like a little fairy wand that says,

"You're clean now!"

There is going to be a process!

But understand that that's the way the Savior

wants it to be.

Shelley: Ands not like a one time thing.

If that problem keep occurring in your life,

you can keep seeing the bishop until you have

really narrowed it down and figured out how

to solve what's going on with you.

Ian: And the Lord has something for non members

and members alike.

There is the Atonement, and the Atonement

allows you, through the Lord Jesus Christ,

to have your sins taken away from you

through your own desire.

He not just going to do it, you have to have

the desire to return to righteousness.

Shelley: That Atonement covers everything,

it makes you completely perfect again.

I know there are a lot of analogies in like

Young Women classes and just in the world

out there that talks about if you have

had sex, it's like taking a fresh piece of gum

and like chewing it, and like once you've

had sex and you have lost your virtue,

it comes back and it's "chewed gum."

That's false because the atonement of Jesus Christ...

Jesus Christ pretty much takes that gum and

throws it away gives you a brand new piece

and that is you now.

Shelley: Brand new, everything is great and

all of your sins are taken care of and washed

clean if you go with the right motives and

desires and you repent fully.

Kwaku: Christ did not die for you to walk

around and think you are worthless.

That's not why he died,

that would just be vain.

He did not die for that.

But I also want to hit on this, you know,

I think our members know this, but for the

non members out there, there is this idea

that because christ died, you're covered completely.

And, whatever you do doesn't matter.

No, no no no.

What you do matters, just because Christ did

die on the cross, He did suffer in the Garden

of Gethsemane for you, but that isn't a free

pass to do whatever you want because