(phone ringing)

Hello?

Good morning, Katherine. This is your employer calling.

Good morning, Mrs. Thistletwat!

As you may know,

I have an appointment for a heart replacement surgery next week

and I need you to teach my class in the morning.

Ugggh.

I should need until lunch break to recover.

I get to teach all by myself?

I trust you, Katherine.

And you may choose the subject.

Wow, thanks Lavinia.

Ugh, Katherine. When you call me by my first name the children don't respect me.

Sorry, Mrs. Thistletwat.

Thank you.

Finally, I get to teach a whole lesson all by myself.

And I'm gonna teach something relevant, something modern.

The internet!

The internet is really, really great!

For porn!

I've got a fast connection so I don't have to wait!

For porn!

There's always some new site

For porn

I browse all day and night

For porn

It's like I'm surfing at the speed of light

For porn

Trekkie!

The internet is for porn

What are you doing?

The internet is for porn

That's gross!

Why you think the net was born?

Porn, porn, porn!

(Trekkie scatting)

Trekkie Monster!

Wha wha?

Get down here!

Okay.

Hello, Kate Monster!

You are ruining my song!

Oh, me sorry. Me no mean to.

Well if you wouldn't mind keeping quiet for a minute so I can finish?

Good!

I'm glad we have this new technology

For porn-oops, sorry

Which gives us untold opportunity

For porn-oops, sorry

Right from your own desktop

For p-

You can research, browse and shop

Until you've had enough and you're ready to stop

For porn!

The internet is for porn

No!

The internet is for porn

Me up all night honking me horn to

Porn, porn, porn!

Trekkie Monster! You're a pervert!

Oh, sticks and stones, Kate Monster.

No really, you're a pervert.

Normal people don't sit at home and look at porn on the internet.

Ohhh?

What?

You have no idea! Ready, normal people?

Ready!

Let me hear it!

The internet is for porn

Sorry, Kate!

The internet is for porn

I masturbate!

All these guys unzip their flies for

Porn, porn, porn!

The internet is not for-

Hold everything!

WHAAAT?

Now I happen to know for a fact that you, Rod

check your portfolio and trade stocks online.

That'h correct.

And you, Brian, buy things on amazon.com.

Sure!

And Gary, you keep selling your possessions on eBay.

Yes I do.

And Princeton, you sent me that sweet online birthday card.

True!

Oh but Kate, what you think he did before, during and after?

EWWWWW!

The internet is for porn

The internet is for porn

Grab your dick and double-click for

Porn, porn, porn!

Poooorn, pooorn

The internet is for, internet is for, internet is for PORN!