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  • Because our culture places such a high value on sociability, it can be deeply awkward to

  • have to explain how muchat certain pointswe need to be alone. We may try to pass

  • off our desire as something work-related: people generally understand a need to finish

  • off a project. But in truth, it's a far less respectable and more profound desire

  • that is driving us on: unless we are alone, we are at risk of forgetting who we are. We,

  • the ones who are asphyxiated without periods by ourselves, take other people very seriously

  • perhaps more seriously than those in the uncomplicated ranks of the endlessly gregarious.

  • We listen closely to stories, we give ourselves to others, we respond with emotion and empathy.

  • But as a result, we cannot keep swimming in company indefinitely. At a certain point,

  • we have had enough of conversations that take us away from our own thought processes, enough

  • of external demands that stop us heeding our inner tremors, enough of the pressure for

  • superficial cheerfulness that denies the legitimacy of our latent inner melancholyand enough

  • of robust common-sense that flattens our peculiarities and less well-charted appetites. We need to

  • be alone because life among other people unfolds too quickly. The pace is relentless: the jokes,

  • the insights, the excitements. There can sometimes be enough in five minutes of social life to

  • take up an hour of analysis. It is a quirk of our minds that not every emotion that impacts

  • us is at once fully acknowledged, understood or evenas it weretruly felt. After

  • time among others, there are a myriad of sensations that exist in an 'unprocessed' form within

  • us. Perhaps an idea that someone raised made us anxious, prompting inchoate impulses for

  • changes in our lives. Perhaps an anecdote sparked off an envious ambition that is worth

  • decoding and listening to in order to grow. Maybe someone subtly fired an aggressive dart

  • at us, and we haven't had the chance to realise we are hurt. We need some quiet time

  • to console ourselves by formulating an explanation of where the nastiness might have come from.

  • We are more vulnerable and tender-skinned than we're encouraged to imagine. By retreating

  • into ourselves, it looks as if we are the enemies of others, but our solitary moments

  • are in reality a homage to the richness of social existence. Unless we've had time

  • alone, we can't be who we would like to be around our fellow humans. We won't have

  • original opinions. We won't have lively and authentic perspectives. We'll bein

  • the wrong way – a bit like everyone else. We're drawn to solitude not because we despise

  • humanity but because we are properly responsive to what the company of others entails. Extensive

  • stretches of being alone may in reality be a precondition for knowing how to be a better

  • friend and a properly attentive companion. Our Calm prompt cards can help us to find

  • serenity despite daily anxieties and frustrations, to find out more, click on the link now.

Because our culture places such a high value on sociability, it can be deeply awkward to

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B1 中級

一人になる必要性 (The Need to be Alone)

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    Rain に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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