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  • - After the death of my father,

  • just getting through the day was tough enough.

  • I'd recently launched a new business

  • that had totally thrust me out in front of people,

  • the last place that you wanna be

  • when you're grieving, right?

  • Well, on top of my emotional pain, I had physical pain too.

  • At nighttime, my entire body would be in agony.

  • I could barely move.

  • My doctors believed that during the day

  • I was able to keep it at bay but at nighttime

  • when I let go of the structure of who I was,

  • my body went into physical shock to try and heal itself.

  • Whichever way we deal with a devastating setback

  • or ongoing pressure that feels like

  • it's just never gonna let up,

  • we must comprehend that whatever we do and however we behave

  • we're creating and establishing new neurological pathways

  • that either teach us to continue to stay that way

  • or break the pattern and choose a different path.

  • Those pathways simply become stronger and stronger

  • the more that we go down them.

  • The more that you grieve,

  • the more that you establish it as a behavior

  • on how to react when something goes wrong

  • subconsciously or not.

  • Your mind takes on the identity of a wounded person

  • and that's how you start to behave

  • but thankfully, you have a choice

  • when you're aware of what you're doing.

  • Take the negative, wounded path or the path of strength.

  • Now, I eventually did choose the second one

  • when I became more consciously aware of what was going on.

  • To do so, before I gave up,

  • I had to apply a few simple strategies.

  • This included three daily habits.

  • The first one, every night before I went to bed,

  • I'd write a list of 10 things I was grateful for

  • for that day and more importantly,

  • what I was looking forward to for the next.

  • This is simple and it's designed to retrain your brain

  • to look for the good when it had spent a considerable

  • amount of time ruminating on the bad.

  • Secondly, each day,

  • I'd revisit a list of my past achievements,

  • everything from buying my first home

  • to reaching a fitness goal.

  • I'd remind myself that I was more capable

  • than I'd give myself credit for

  • then I'd add something else to that list for the day.

  • These were goals that if I was a 16 year old

  • looking at what I was yet to achieve

  • would get my 16 year old self excited about the future

  • thereby once more disrupting certain thought patterns.

  • And finally, and this is my favourite,

  • I took on a sad song and movie diet

  • and it's exactly as it sounds.

  • I removed any triggers that would send myself

  • back into a spiral of negative thoughts and behaviours.

  • The easiest and fastest thing you can do to break a pattern

  • when you're in the midst of negative emotions

  • is hitting play on some music

  • that you used to listen to as a teen

  • that would make you smile.

  • For me, yeah, I admit it,

  • it may have been the Spice Girls or Britney Spears but hey,

  • I'd love to see what your favourite song was back in the day.

  • Anything that sends you back to a time

  • in which everything was okay is by far one of the best ways

  • to interrupt those negative patterns.

  • Keep this up for a while and you'll begin to not only forget

  • what it was that you were worrying about

  • but you'll also uncover the psychological resources

  • that you need to keep going when you feel like giving up.

  • (upbeat music)

- After the death of my father,

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B1 中級

あきらめそうになったときは、これをやってみてください。 (When You Feel Like Giving Up, Do This!)

  • 85 8
    fiona に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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