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He was living in Grand Junction, Colorado,
and I was living in Mexico because I was finishing school.
We were on the phone every night.
And getting to know this person over the phone
on a long-distance relationship was just--it was like a book,
that every phone call was a new chapter where you get to meet
this character in this book who, everything that they do is
interesting to you.
And you just want to know this person.
And that voice is just dreamy.
And I think it was just such a great fantasy,
and to think that this guy, who I'm so in love with,
can love me back.
What can I do to make sure that the chapters in this book
never end, that this book continues forever?
After about 10 years or so of being married and happy
with three wonderful children, I lost
my part-time job and Brandon lost his full-time job.
It was, "What do we do now?"
And there was this big opportunity
to go and work as an insurance adjuster.
Gusts much higher.
He left for the third time for 18 months.
I felt like I was raising the family on my own.
After a while, we were two complete strangers
trying to make a family work.
When he came back, it was the reality
of living with somebody that I honestly, at that point,
I didn't need anymore.
There wasn't anything in that book that I wanted to know.
So we decided to get divorced after 13 years of marriage.
I thought that getting a divorce was going to be so easy.
But the pain and the suffering of seeing Brandon away, moving
on with his life, was unbearable.
I didn't want anything but my family again.
The first time we sat in therapy together,
we did it because of the kids.
That was the excuse, because we wanted
to help the kids overcome their problems
and their challenges of a divorced couple.
After a few times we went to therapy,
the therapist bluntly said, "You guys
are very stupid because these are things
that you could have fixed before with help."
And then she said, "Maybe next time you guys can go on a date
and discuss what we discussed today."
So after 13 years of being married,
three children, a lot of pain, disagreements, loneliness,
and a very painful divorce, we went on our first date again.
He asked me out.
We started smiling at each other again
and just started flirting.
And he started sending silly text messages
with emojis, whatever.
Although it's not his personality, he did it.
I think I forgot the main part: "What am I
doing to stay in love with him?
What is he doing to stay in love with me?"
We made the decision right there and then
that we were going to fix it, that we
were going to go to therapy, that we were going
to seek spiritual help, that we were going to pray together,
that we were going to read the scriptures together, that we
were going to go to the temple, that we needed to have goals
together again.
We continued going to therapy for months.
We decided to get remarried.
And we felt hope in our relationship.
We were happy again.
God wants us to be happy.
He helps us every day to make our family work.


Falling Out of Love with a Spouse

167 タグ追加 保存
So Ling Lee 2018 年 2 月 18 日 に公開
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