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  • We unexpectedly catch sight of ourselves in a mirror and, in an instant, are thrown into

  • despair: the odd nose, the unsatisfactory hair, the sickening skin tone, but most of

  • all, the only too familiar, deeply gormless needy expression. It feels at such moments

  • as if every worst fear about us must be true. All our efforts to run away from our monster-self

  • have failed. A hideous spectre is, for our brief time on the planet, truly whom we are

  • fated to be. Crucially, feeling ugly is entirely independent of what anyone actually looks

  • like. There are beauties who are sickened by their looks and grizzled munchkins breezily

  • at ease with themselves. There are always an infinite number of reasons to find oneself

  • pleasant or hideous, clever or idiotic: so what decides the matter is never in the end

  • the judgement of our eyes, but the condition of our souls. It is the inner mood that guides

  • our gaze in its assessment of the face in the mirror and that projects the atmosphere

  • of selfishness, sleaziness and furtiveness we locate in our features. Therefore, we don't,

  • when we are sad, ever really need a new set of clothes or a haircut. We requireto

  • put it naively and grandlyto be looked at through the eyes of love, by someone whose

  • generous assessment can rescue us from the depredations of self-hatred. It is all the

  • more unfortunate thatprecisely when we feel disgustingit can be so hard to ask

  • another for their help. We hate ourselves too much to dare to hope that anyone else

  • might like usand may, in response to kind enquiries, simply attempt to prove our

  • dislikable nature through monosyllabic avoidant grunts. We needin our curdled statefor

  • someone else to explain our condition to the world, to make the case that we are lost and

  • ashamed, not monstrous or mean. We may need (for a time at least) to let someone else's

  • words do the work for us.

  • At The School of Life, we believe that confidence is a skill we can learn. Our Confidence Prompt Cards are designed to help us to master this mysterious art. Click now to learn more.

We unexpectedly catch sight of ourselves in a mirror and, in an instant, are thrown into


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B1 中級

醜いと感じることについて (On Feeling Ugly)

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    外套桑 に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日