This was supposed to be our big opening night.

I'll tell you what the problem is.

Every successful restaurant has a hook or a gimmick.

That's what we're lacking.

(GASPING) No, we're not.

Frank, you're the hook!

That's right.

We just need to make you the face of the restaurant.

Well, it may be the five loaves of garlic bread

I ate this morning talking, but I think that's a swell idea.

(SINGING) You love the meal, the fancy feel,

the showbiz stories while you eat your veal.

It's family dining with a mobster

feel at Frank Sinatra's Restaurant.

Junior.

(SINGING) The wine is red with lots of bread, and portions,

uh, bigger than the horse's head.

(SINGING) You'll burp up sausages tonight in bed.

At Frank Sinatra's Restaurant.

(SINGING) Here's a toast to our host.

The food's not great, but drink enough and you won't know.

The guests will soon, and Frank will croon--

--a bee-bop, doobie-dop Italian tune.

You'll dine like royalty at Frank Sinatra's Restaurant.

We got big plans to please our fans.

Our cocktail waitress has enormous cans.

A men's room servant who will dry your hands

at Frank Sinatra's Restaurant.

Our pizza pies could win a prize.

The jukebox catalog is double size.

It plays both Capital and yes, Reprise.

That's re-preeze.

At Frank Sinatra's Restaurant.

Gorgeous views.

And top-shelf booze.

Yes, we serve Jews.

Um, that was never an issue.

So raise your glass.

We'll have a gas.

A seating's limited so move your ass

and plant it firmly here at Frank Sinatra's Restaurant.

Frank's Restaurant.

Frank's Rest- aur- ant.

[applause]