Right? Love that Tina Turner song a lot.

of people are not just searching for

love they're searching for this magical

mystical unconditional love. Today, here

on limitless TV, I'm bringing on one of

my, one of my, dear, dear friends and

guests mentor, marianne de Novelists to

talk about what unconditional love is

and how you create it.

You know, a lot of people have asked me

what is unconditional love? and what does

it mean in a relationship? what does it

mean in terms of yourself? how can you

really have it? and here's what I want to

share with you, I've discovered a lot of

things on what unconditional love is and

what unconditional love isn't. Let me

give you an example, you know we think

about love. There's a lot of different

ways to express love. There's a lot of

different ways to feel love. Many of you

have heard of love languages and many of

you have heard of different kinds of

love and different languages. You know,

you love your animal, you love your pet,

you love your dog, you love your house,

you love your kids, you love you know to

do things. You love to go on hikes, you

love to have hobbies, you love yourself

and maybe for some people that's a new

concept. Maybe for some people you have

had these inclinations and voices in

your heads with Oh, I hate it when I do

this. I hate it when I do that. And here's

the difference,

unconditional love, means no matter what.

It means no strings attached. It means

whether or not the circumstance shows up

like I expect it or not. That's what

unconditional love looks like. And when you

have unconditional love, that means that

nothing can rob you of your peace. Now

let me lay the foundation for this for

just a moment.

Unconditional love, when you look at

yourself in the mirror what do you see?

when you look at yourself in the mirror

do you see things that are just

objectifying for you? do you see and I

used to do this. I used to look at myself

in the mirror and say, "Oh, I like how I

look today". I like this outfit or I don't

like this part of me and sometimes I

would just look at myself you know from

the neck down makes a bunch of judgments.

And, I was super conditional. If I looked

at the scale one day, and I saw two more

pounds than I noticed yesterday, or the

week before, then I put a condition on it.

That I'm somehow less than that two

pounds more made me less than. I looked

at my bank account says this number, this

figure represent how much I'm worth? is

it affect how much peace I have? is it a

heading to or taking away? I'm checking

on dipping my energetic dipstick

you will into all of these different

circumstances in determining my level of

self-love and I really want to define

for you, what self-love means. What does

love mean to you? Just consider that for

a moment. What does love mean to you you?

You know in Greek there's so many different

words for love there's a word for love

that means brotherly love. There's a word

for love that means close intimate love

between you and a spouse. There's a word

for love that means, you love your field

or your job, or what you do. There's

several different words for love and in

the English language we don't really

have that? We have just love. We have

friendships that means something

different. We have relationship that

means something different. But what is

love really mean? and this is my

definition. Love means commitment to

success. Let me say that again,

love means commitment to success. You see

love isn't an emotion. It's not something

that you feel although there are

emotions that come with it. Love is a

commitment. Love is a commitment to

success. I once had a dear friend and

mentor who was explaining this concept

to me and he said, "Maryann, if I love this

cheese burger,

I'm committed to his success. and the

highest success for this Cheeseburger is

to become part of me, and fuel me, and

give me energy to do what I do for out

the whole day." and I just laugh I thought

that was the most hilarious thing they

were her but he had a point. Committed to

the success. So what does that mean for

you? you think about a child. Now I don't

mean how many of you have kids but I

know you've also been one before.

speaking as a former one-year-old, I can

tell you this and having one year olds

of my own I've watched them get up and

I've watched them take steps and I've

watched them learn how to walk and I

watch them fall a lot of times. And,

sometimes the fall is a little trip, and

sometimes the fall is a fall down a

flight of stairs. And you can imagine, as

an adult, I'm not looking at them and

saying, "oh you should really do better,

you know that wasn't a very good try, you

know that was a really maybe, you should

stop, maybe you should stop doing what

you're doing because that's not really

working for you you're getting results

that aren't favourable. Hmm.... you should

just really cut that on". No!

What kind of parent does that? I mean can you imagine a world

where we have full-grown adults crawling

and rolling on the ground because they

never learned how to log because someone

told them to give up? I mean it's funny

that would be, that would never happen

because, we are committed to success.

Because, we love ourselves enough to take

the next step even if it's unsure. Even

if it's unsteady.

now couple that with unconditional. You

take love, commitment to success

you've got unconditional which means

regardless of circumstance which means

regardless of no strings attached and

you put them together into one and

here's what you come up with

unconditional commitment to success. Now,

how does it show up in relationships?

before you can give it to someone else

you have to have it here. It has to start

somewhere because, you can't give what

you don't have. You can't give what you

don't have. So if you are lacking

unconditional love for self, how could

you possibly give it to someone else?

Oh, you may think you do and a lot of times

in this world we've heard the old adage

you know love your neighbor as yourself

the golden rule do unto others as you

would do unto yourself. And a

lot of times, people will make the

mistake of giving more than they have of

giving to other batteries are tapped out.

And then, giving more. And you know what

happens when that happens? We forget

ourselves. We forget. We forget to take

care of ourselves. Imagine if you were

sinking and someone's thinking next to

you're in a big vast ocean and there's

no life preservers. There's no possible

way for you to save someone unless

you've got a life preserver or you're on

higher ground. You've got to give from a

full tank. We learn about this all the

time if you've ever been on the airplane,

you had the flight attendants give you

their spiel about how to click the

safety belts and how to blow into the

tube when your oxygen, when your,

floatation device comes and they always

talk about that oxygen device coming

down and every single time they will

tell you to make sure that you take care

of you before you pass it on to someone

else. Because what good are you to help

someone else if you're empty? What good

you to help someone else if you're

passed out? You can't.

it's impossible you can't give what you

don't have

So unconditional love, it all starts here.

and what do you do when you love someone?

what do you do when you're in love with

something? you spend time with them. You

connect to them. You find out what your

interests are. You find out what makes

them tick. Think about maybe you went on

a first date. What did you do? did you

learn things about that person? did you

ask that person's friends? what colors do

they like? what flowers you like? what

things they like? what do they like to do?

when's the last time you do that for

yourself? so I have a challenge for you

I'm going to invite you to write a top

10 list of things that you love. Things

that make you take, things that you love

to spend your time doing, do you would

like to go on rafting trips? what do you

excite, get excited about? do you like to

create art? do you like to build? do you

like to just sit and read a book? how do

you love to spend time with yourself? how

do you love to create? what do you do to

recharge your batteries? and then I'm

going to ask you to pick one. Pick one

today. I'm talking today. Right now before

this video is over I want you to have

one in mind that you can step forward

with. That you commit to accomplishing.

Maybe it's just 15 minutes you need to

commit yourself today. But that's 15

minutes of dedication to you. Dedication

to your success and what does success

for you look like? maybe it's a goal that

you're working on, maybe it's a business

goal or maybe it's a relationship goal

maybe it's a family goal. Believe it or

not taking that time to work on you,

taking that time to give yourself that

15 minutes is feeding that unconditional

love. And many have nothing to do with the

goal that you're working on. But it

charges the battery that gets you there.

So in your relationship once you've got

your tank full then you have the

opportunity to give it to someone. And

let me just talk about marriage for just

a second. This is the most important

relationship I have here when my time on

this planet the most important

relationship with another human being I

have is my marriage. And, I give in my

marriage because I'm full first so I

asked my spouse what are the top 10

things that you love to do? and what ways

can I show you love? one of the most

important challenges I was

ever issued was this unconditional love

challenge. One of my mentors, Kris Krohn

gave us this challenge in our marriage

and I got to tell you I was in a place

in my marriage when I heard this I was

folding my arms. I'm looking back like, "you just

try and make this marriage better

because right now it stinks". I mean