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  • Um, excuse me?

  • Never fear!

  • Wonder Woman is here!

  • The door...

  • was unlocked!

  • That hostage was dead before I got here, OK?

  • What did you do this weekend, Diana?

  • I did not kill a hostage at the courthouse!

  • Whoever told you that, they lied!

  • Yeah, I didn't do much either.

  • The world remains in mourning after the death of the Superman.

  • And where is the Gotham Bat?

  • The masked vigilante has been a no-show!

  • I'm right here!

  • Just look up!

  • Hey, whatever happened to that bat guy?

  • I don't know - I guess he threw in the cowl!

  • He's a no-show now!

  • They said the age of heroes would never come again.

  • Well they were clearly wrong.

  • I said age of heroes.

  • - Not age of churros! - Hey.

  • It was a significant period in my life.

  • Mmmm.

  • And by god,

  • it's come again.

  • This is the churro Gotham deserves.

  • Something is coming.

  • Oh no.

  • It's Steppenwolf.

  • No.

  • I'm Droppenwolf.

  • Did you not just witness my entrance?

  • But don't worry.

  • When Steppenwolf gets here,

  • steps...

  • will be taken.

  • No protectors here.

  • No lanterns.

  • No home security.

  • No Kryptonian pornos.

  • And no Batmen.

  • I'M RIGHT... HERE!

  • This world will fall.

  • And everyone''s gonna blame Batman for being a total no-show.

  • I SHOWED!!

  • I'M A YES-SHOW!!

  • One misses the days when one's biggest concerns were exploding wind-up penguins.

  • Alfred.

  • That's still my biggest concern.

  • Please don't tell me you've stopped the hourly perimeter sweeps!

  • No, I haven't stopped doing the sweeps.

  • - Oh thank god... - There were no penguins spotted at 2300, I assure you.

  • Just because you can't see them,

  • doesn't mean they're not out there...

  • lurking in the dark...

  • Sir, we are on a plane--

  • THEY'RE PENGUINS, ALFRED!!

  • THEY CAN FLY!!

  • They found me.

  • This is cray-cray.

  • Honestly, I think we're all gonna die.

  • Does anyone else want to take a stab at giving the big motivational speech?

  • And I don't think it's gonna be a quick death, either.

  • I think it's gonna drag on for a fair while. We're gonna feel it all.

  • Our throats will probably hurt the most from all the screaming.

  • Don't engage alone.

  • We do this together.

  • Where's Flash?

  • OK guys, I'm engaging alone!

  • Wish me luck on my lone engagement!

  • Oh. Hey, Stabbenwolf.

  • Didn't see you there.

  • You guys seem ready to do battle and stuff but I've never done battle.

  • I've just pushed some people and run away.

  • I thought you looked familiar!

  • Relax, Alfred.

  • I'll take it from here.

  • Son, you've just committed grand theft Batmo.

  • The penalty... is every hero's worst nightmare.

  • Superman... was a beacon to the world.

  • Alright.

  • He didn't just save people.

  • He killed a whole heap of them while he was fighting Zod.

  • Ow!

  • That's sharp!

  • Yeah, it's a sword, dumbass.

  • Stop trying to be a Michelangelo painting.

  • You're the boss.

  • I know we're far from water,

  • but I can still contribute with my surfing skills!

  • Ow!

  • Land hurts so much more than water!

  • How many of you freaks are there?

  • Not enough.

  • I'm fixating on the number "7" for some reason.

  • Oh hey, Batman.

  • Thanks for showing up.

  • Where have you been the last...

  • Oh, wow!

  • They really just vanish, huh?

  • Oh.

  • That's rude.

  • Ew.

  • I have a serious problem.

  • He said you'd come.

  • Now let's hope...

  • you're not too late.

  • Hey.

  • It's never too late...

  • to give them Hal!

  • Why were there two impact tremors?

  • Mmm, what's that?

  • Well, before you arrived, there were two impacts.

  • What happened - did you land twice or something?

  • Uh, yeah. I, uh - I did land twice. I, uh...

  • I landed, I realised I'd missed the mark by a few hundred yards, didn't feel like walking, so...

  • flew up and landed again a lot closer.

  • That's...

  • awkward.

  • Yeah it is. It's really awkward.

  • In fact, I kinda wish you hadn't mentioned it.

  • - Moving on... - You know what you should have done?

  • You should have landed softly the second time.

  • Yeah I should have done a lot of things.

  • So... Earth is in jeopardy...

  • Why are you doing hard landings anyway?

  • What's the point of meeting in secret if you're gonna land like an H-bomb?

  • OH MY GOD!!!

  • You know what?

  • SCREW this planet!

  • Alfred?

  • Did that green superhuman from outer space show up?

  • We desperately need his help.

  • I'm terribly sorry, sir.

  • He's a no-show.

  • [WONDER WOMAN] I think it is fair to say that I am the most valuable player on the team.

  • [OTHERS SCOFF]

  • [WONDER WOMAN] No seriously - let's look at the evidence.

  • Batman is cool, but he has no powers, so he's out.

  • [BATMAN] When are you guys gonna stop holding that over me?

  • [WONDER WOMAN] Flash is super-fast -

  • something no man should ever brag about -

  • but he has no stealth!

  • Every time he moves he becomes an electrical storm.

  • Why can't he be more like... Quicksilver?

  • Quicksilver doesn't need all the zappity-zap-zap.

  • You're all flash and no substance, Flash.

  • [FLASH] Uh, wow!

  • I didn't ask to be so highly charged.

  • [ZAPS]

  • [WONDER WOMAN] Cyborg can do some useful things...

  • but he is such a downer!

  • Honestly, his robot parts are less robotic than his personality.

  • [CYBORG] I. Disagree.

  • Conversation terminated. [SHUTS DOWN]

  • [WONDER WOMAN] And Aquaman.

  • He can control water and fish,

  • which would be a real asset if we weren't fighting on... dry... land.

  • [AQUAMAN] No one could have predicted that.

  • But hey -

  • if any of these aliens set foot on my home surf,

  • they'll be soggy.

  • [WONDER WOMAN] Anyway, I think I have made my point.

  • So why have you brought us to Superman's grave, Bruce?

  • And why is the coffin out of the ground?

  • [LID COMES OFF]

  • [SUPERMAN] Because the real M.V.P. did not R.I.P.!

  • That's right, everybody - I'm back.

  • I had to levitate quite a few dirt particles, one by one, but I eventually dug myself out.

  • What'd I miss?

  • [WONDER WOMAN] It's great you're back, Clark, but there is something you should know.

  • Your public funeral cost American taxpayers over ten million dollars.

  • Now that you're alive, the government wants you to pay it back.

  • They are going to let you do it in instalments,

  • and fortunately, they've kept your job open at the Daily Planet so--

  • [LID SLAMS SHUT]

  • [FLASH] Uh... where'd he go?

  • [BATMAN] I think he went back inside the coffin.

  • [WONDER WOMAN] Clark?

  • Did you just go back inside your coffin?

  • [SUPERMAN, muffled] No.

Um, excuse me?

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B1 中級

ジャスティス・リーグ予告編スプーフ - TOON SANDWICH (Justice League Trailer Spoof - TOON SANDWICH)

  • 221 15
    Jin Wang に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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