this week, Conan O'Brien is bringing his talk show back

to the Spreckels Theater for the third year in a row,

should be a great week of shows so be sure.

(cheering)

Yeah, alright.

San Diego, here we come.

Yeah, hey how about some driving music?

♫ I'm sexy and I know it

Do we have to listen to this song?

It's pretty annoying.

Oh you don't like this song.

Oh you can just skip to the next track.

Oh, great.

♫ I'm sexy and I know it

It's all the same song, they're all the same song,

I love this song.

Alright, well, okay I can't really do it, I'm sorry.

Yeah you can, 'cause it's my truck, it's my tunes.

No I really, I don't wanna listen to that song.

I'm sorry, we're gonna listen to that song.

No I'm your guest, you should have some consideration.

Yeah I'm considering kicking your ass out of this truck.

I don't wanna hear it! I'm in charge of the truck!

No you're not! Yes I am.

No you're not. No you won't!

What? Alright, that's it.

Get out.

San Diego's like 70 miles away.

Well if you start walking now,

you should be there in time for the first show.

Want me out? I'm out.

Yes, yes, I do!

Bye!

Fine.

♫ I'm sexy and I know it

(sad music)

(intense music)

♫ I'm sexy and I know it

I should be in San Diego by now.

(yelling)

(audience cheering)

What is it? Can we eat it?

Its skin is so translucent like a sea jelly.

I shall poke it. Let us all poke it.

Alright alright alright, enough!

Enough with the poking.

(groans)

(gentle music)

So beautiful, where am I?

This is Themyscira, the hidden island of the Amazons.

And we will care for you until you're ready

to return to the ocean, sea jelly.

So we're definitely not eating it?

Are we ruling that out? It's talking,

we can't eat it if it talks.

Hold it, hold it, hold it, I am not a sea jelly,

I'm a man.

No. What do you mean no?

Yes!

Yes, I'm a guy.

The sea jelly has a concussion.

Well we have these ancient drawings

of what a man is supposed to look like.

No that's from a long time ago,

men don't look like that anymore.

You're not this. That guy is overdoing it,

women don't find that attractive.

I like it. What about this?

No I don't look like Idris Elba,

but I'm Idris Elba-like. No.

It's close! No.

Are you a child? What are you talking about?

No.

You have the voice of a child.

Will it change as you grow into manhood?

My voice already changed, this is a man's voice,

it's reedy like Alan Alda.

Alan Alda. Alan Alda.

[Conan] You know, Alan Alda from?

(imitating Conan)

No, no stop, okay don't say it like that.

(speaking gibberish) No.

There's one way to find out if this sea jelly

speaks the truth.

Now tell us, what are you?

The truth is, I am a man.

I also don't tip when I get takeout food.

I figure they didn't wait on me.

I'm getting the food, so why should I tip.

I've never been to my children's school.

I didn't vote in the last election,

I just thought Hillary had it.

Oh no way. Okay enough.

No. It's getting sad.

Now tell us male, what purpose could you possibly serve

on this group of islands? Archipelago.

What? A group of islands,

technically that's called an archipelago.

Are you male-splaining? No no,

we don't call it male-splaining, we call it man-splaining,

that's when a man, me. Enough.

Okay wait, wait wait wait, wait wait wait, come on.

I think you're forgetting, as a man,

I'm endowed with certain equipment.

A penis! A penis!

I haven't seen it. We've never seen one before!

Unsheath your penis. Yeah take it out.

You better step back, alright?

(audience cheering)

Where is it?

It's out! Show us it!

That's it, I took it. No, that's not it.

What are you talking about? It's there!

If you have to say that, it's not there.

Look, this is my whole penis!

Come on, let me stay, I can braid hair.

(yelling)

Oh, look who came crawling back.

Well settle in, it's only two hours to San Diego.

♫ Sexy and I know it

Oh ho ho! (laughs)

Woo!

♫ Wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle, yeah

♫ Wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle, yeah

♫ Wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle, yeah yeah

(cheering)

[Andy] Coming to you from San Diego,

it's Conan at Comic Con!

Tonight, the stars and director of the upcoming movie,

Bright.

And the stars of Supernatural.

Featuring Jimmy-Vivino and the Basic Cable Band.

I'm Andy Richter.

(jazzy music)

Now, here he is, Conan O'Brien!

(audience cheering)