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  • [Radio Announcer] And if you're heading down to Comic Con

  • this week, Conan O'Brien is bringing his talk show back

  • to the Spreckels Theater for the third year in a row,

  • should be a great week of shows so be sure.

  • (cheering)

  • Yeah, alright.

  • San Diego, here we come.

  • Yeah, hey how about some driving music?

  • ♫ I'm sexy and I know it

  • Do we have to listen to this song?

  • It's pretty annoying.

  • Oh you don't like this song.

  • Oh you can just skip to the next track.

  • Oh, great.

  • ♫ I'm sexy and I know it

  • It's all the same song, they're all the same song,

  • I love this song.

  • Alright, well, okay I can't really do it, I'm sorry.

  • Yeah you can, 'cause it's my truck, it's my tunes.

  • No I really, I don't wanna listen to that song.

  • I'm sorry, we're gonna listen to that song.

  • No I'm your guest, you should have some consideration.

  • Yeah I'm considering kicking your ass out of this truck.

  • I don't wanna hear it! I'm in charge of the truck!

  • No you're not! Yes I am.

  • No you're not. No you won't!

  • What? Alright, that's it.

  • Get out.

  • San Diego's like 70 miles away.

  • Well if you start walking now,

  • you should be there in time for the first show.

  • Want me out? I'm out.

  • Yes, yes, I do!

  • Bye!

  • Fine.

  • ♫ I'm sexy and I know it

  • (sad music)

  • (intense music)

  • ♫ I'm sexy and I know it

  • I should be in San Diego by now.

  • (yelling)

  • (audience cheering)

  • What is it? Can we eat it?

  • Its skin is so translucent like a sea jelly.

  • I shall poke it. Let us all poke it.

  • Alright alright alright, enough!

  • Enough with the poking.

  • (groans)

  • (gentle music)

  • So beautiful, where am I?

  • This is Themyscira, the hidden island of the Amazons.

  • And we will care for you until you're ready

  • to return to the ocean, sea jelly.

  • So we're definitely not eating it?

  • Are we ruling that out? It's talking,

  • we can't eat it if it talks.

  • Hold it, hold it, hold it, I am not a sea jelly,

  • I'm a man.

  • No. What do you mean no?

  • Yes!

  • Yes, I'm a guy.

  • The sea jelly has a concussion.

  • Well we have these ancient drawings

  • of what a man is supposed to look like.

  • No that's from a long time ago,

  • men don't look like that anymore.

  • You're not this. That guy is overdoing it,

  • women don't find that attractive.

  • I like it. What about this?

  • No I don't look like Idris Elba,

  • but I'm Idris Elba-like. No.

  • It's close! No.

  • Are you a child? What are you talking about?

  • No.

  • You have the voice of a child.

  • Will it change as you grow into manhood?

  • My voice already changed, this is a man's voice,

  • it's reedy like Alan Alda.

  • Alan Alda. Alan Alda.

  • [Conan] You know, Alan Alda from?

  • (imitating Conan)

  • No, no stop, okay don't say it like that.

  • (speaking gibberish) No.

  • There's one way to find out if this sea jelly

  • speaks the truth.

  • Now tell us, what are you?

  • The truth is, I am a man.

  • I also don't tip when I get takeout food.

  • I figure they didn't wait on me.

  • I'm getting the food, so why should I tip.

  • I've never been to my children's school.

  • I didn't vote in the last election,

  • I just thought Hillary had it.

  • Oh no way. Okay enough.

  • No. It's getting sad.

  • Now tell us male, what purpose could you possibly serve

  • on this group of islands? Archipelago.

  • What? A group of islands,

  • technically that's called an archipelago.

  • Are you male-splaining? No no,

  • we don't call it male-splaining, we call it man-splaining,

  • that's when a man, me. Enough.

  • Okay wait, wait wait wait, wait wait wait, come on.

  • I think you're forgetting, as a man,

  • I'm endowed with certain equipment.

  • A penis! A penis!

  • I haven't seen it. We've never seen one before!

  • Unsheath your penis. Yeah take it out.

  • You better step back, alright?

  • (audience cheering)

  • Where is it?

  • It's out! Show us it!

  • That's it, I took it. No, that's not it.

  • What are you talking about? It's there!

  • If you have to say that, it's not there.

  • Look, this is my whole penis!

  • Come on, let me stay, I can braid hair.

  • (yelling)

  • Oh, look who came crawling back.

  • Well settle in, it's only two hours to San Diego.

  • Sexy and I know it

  • Oh ho ho! (laughs)

  • Woo!

  • Wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle, yeah

  • Wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle, yeah

  • Wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle, yeah yeah

  • (cheering)

  • [Andy] Coming to you from San Diego,

  • it's Conan at Comic Con!

  • Tonight, the stars and director of the upcoming movie,

  • Bright.

  • And the stars of Supernatural.

  • Featuring Jimmy-Vivino and the Basic Cable Band.

  • I'm Andy Richter.

  • (jazzy music)

  • Now, here he is, Conan O'Brien!

  • (audience cheering)

[Radio Announcer] And if you're heading down to Comic Con

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コナンがTBSで放送されました。 (CONAN on TBS)

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    sean690033 に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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