month since I bought Ultimate Marvel Vs. Capcom 3, and now, by the grace and blessing of the

Evil Overlords at Capcom, I can actually play that Heroes and Heralds mode that only partly

justifies the 40 extra bucks I spent on a game I already owned. But I have to admit,

the whole thing confuses me just a bit. Buckle up and prepare to save - or enslave - the

world.

Heroes and Heralds presents you with a choice, right off the bat: Good or evil? Do you fight

for the fate of humanity, dog-ality, red-arremer-ality, zombie-ality, and whatever-the-hell-Shuma-Gorath-is-ality?

Or do you say NUTS TO ALL THAT and swear your allegiance to Galactus, tenderizing earth

for his delicate palate? It’s your choice, and fortunately said decision won’t have

long-lasting ramifications, as the status quo of the world is restored once a week,

for the forces of good and evil to to start anew.

BUT NUTS TO THAT, IT’S A CARD GAME NOW. Yes, in an utterly baffling maneuver of making

their hyper-elite tournament version of Marvel Vs. Capcom 3 casual as pleated-front khakis,

the Heroes and Heralds mode carries with it a card game mechanic that allows you to buff

your party by collecting, equipping, and fiddling with CARDS. I almost have to appreciate it

as a slap directly in the face of the No Items Fox Only Final Destination crowd. The effects

of these cards are varied and diverse, and may or may not have stipulations or trigger

conditions. You can equip three cards at a time, with one card receiving a boosted effect;

three deck slots allow you to tailor these combinations to your liking.

You obtain cards by inflicting freedom or violence upon various areas, which become

progressively more difficult as your influence rises. (Because you always get the weaksauce

out first; that’s how all these games go.) The cards you obtain are random, though certain

cards like Professor X or Missile the Dog (the one in Phoenix Wright’s throw) increase

your chances of obtaining rare cards. Cards have a letter grade indicating their rarity,

with S-class cards blowing C-class cards out of the water and so on. Higher-stakes fights

will pit you against opponents with some absolutely absurd bonuses. I recall one fight where my

opponents had seemingly unlimited X-Factor. Unlimited. That’s just wrong, folks. You’re

probably asking, “What the hell’s with that bingo card down there?” Glad you asked.

By defeating five opponents on the card and completing a row, you gain access to “special”

battlefields like Asgard or the Demon Village, full of top-tier opponents and your best chances

at those absurdly-powerful cards. But be warned: A single loss in a bonus stage will remove

it from the map, and then it’s bingo all over again.

Probably the most appealing aspect of the cards, though, is the inclusion of the Sirs

and Madams Previously Not Appearing In This Film, and uncovering some of the more obscure

and eclectic characters amongst this collection of franchises. Want an ability line of Blade,

Sakuya from Okami, and whip-wielding prosecutor Franziska von Karma? Absolutely. Only a foolish

fool who bought the same game a second foolish time would be so foolish as to foolishly turn

down a foolishly free update to add the foolhardy Heroes and foolish Heralds mode to this foolish

game. I mean, really.