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  • Just a heads up everybody,

  • the audio on this might sound a little distorted

  • because I was actually screaming so much

  • I blew out the mic.

  • I'm sure you'll take that as a good sign.

  • Enjoy!

  • Okay, so I've seen a lot of Disney sequels this year

  • and I've hated a lot of them but for some reason

  • some strange reason, Mulan II

  • I hate the most.

  • Now that's not saying it's the worst.

  • It's not the worst animated, it's not the worst story

  • The third Beauty and the Beast probably has that distinction.

  • But something about this one just rubbed me so the wrong way

  • and got me legitimately angry.

  • Which is so strange because the first Mulan I didn't even get THAT into.

  • I mean, I liked it, I thought it was fine. It had some good moments and stuff.

  • But something about this one just made me appreciate it all the more

  • when I see what it could've been.

  • How awful it could've turned out.

  • Mulan is back home training a bunch of kids how to be little warrior princesses

  • when her boyfriend drops by and proposes.

  • She of courses says "Yes" but this looks like bad news for Mushu

  • not voiced thank God by Eddie Murphy this time but a, much more unfunny Eddie Murphy impersonator

  • who's going to lose his job because he no longer has to look after Mulan.

  • So, it's up to him to try and split the couple apart.

  • Yeeeeaaaaah, doesn't that make him incredibly likeable?

  • But come on, this is the sequel to Mulan, this girl that went in and defeated this army

  • surely some action's gotta be in here.

  • Well, the emperor of China sees that the Huns are about to attack

  • Okay! Here we go! Now we're gonna get some good sword fighting!

  • He calls in Mulan and what does he have her do?

  • Escort these three princesses to be married.

  • Yeah, because, a marriage will unite these two kingdoms and thus they can fight the Huns together.

  • Well, wait, that's it?

  • That's really it??

  • I mean, don't get me wrong, the movie makes it very clear early on that it isn't just about fighting and violence

  • it's about the, center and peace and tranquility of the mind but...

  • Really? This is the plot?

  • Of course they bring in the comic relief from the last film and they're gonna fall in love with them

  • there's gonna be this whole thing about "Oh should they marry or should they not?"

  • You know "choose your heart" all that blah blah blah.

  • But, here's the thing:

  • It isn't like being forced to marry just cause you're forced to marry cause of tradition

  • The future of China relies on this!

  • That throws in a completely different element.

  • But Mulan doesn't care! Oh she just wants her girlfriends to be happy!

  • EEEEEEEEEE!

  • But to make things worse, Mushu is constantly trying to split up the main couple throughout the entire movie

  • And I mean, the ENTIRE movie!

  • He suddenly becomes the most despicable, unlikeable character in the world!

  • And what makes it even worse is, that it kind of works!

  • The boyfriend just goes off on Mulan in this really uncomfortable animation

  • By God, what the hell is he even doing?

  • Mulan at some point through some bullshit realizes that it wasn't true and she's gonna fall in love with him again and marry him but

  • Then HE disappears! So she thinks now she has to marry one of these princes to unite the two kingdoms.

  • The climax?

  • Every dumb ass romantic comedy you've ever seen.

  • Where the bride is gonna marry the person she doesn't want to marry

  • and the guy has to come in, confess his love

  • and some sort of dumb comedic ASS happens!

  • I'm just gonna warn ya, I'm gonna get into spoiler territory here but I'm sorry this is really important to talk about.

  • So, Mushu tries to make everything better by telling them that they don't have to marry.

  • Well...Okay.

  • The three princesses marry the men they want, Mulan marries the boyfriend but...

  • What about China?

  • They're doomed!

  • There's no alliance! The Huns are going to attack!

  • China is officially destroyed because of this!

  • But...

  • At least they're marrying for true love! Ooo!

  • It's never addressed what happens after this!

  • I wouldn't make that big a deal out of it. I know: Direct-to-Disney sequel - haha! But...

  • THEY make a big deal out of it!

  • They keep talking over and over why they can't get married, how

  • thousands will die if they don't join this union!

  • And... in the end I guess they just let thousands die!

  • It's...

  • It's really awful!

  • There's only one good song in the whole thing and it's the first song

  • all the others are either hand-me-downs or repeats.

  • Yeah! They just repeat half the songs!

  • "Girl Worth Fighting For" comes back, that'll save from having to write another paycheck!

  • The animation, while smooth and colorful, also kind of looks out of place.

  • Mulan in the original had a pretty good range of emotion, but here all the animation is kinda done like they're comic relief.

  • They're TOO expressive. They're TOO rubbery.

  • Which, like I said, makes for some really awkward scenes when the boyfriend has to yell at her.

  • [noise of disgust] That's disturbing!

  • I don't know what it is, because like I said, I didn't get super into the first film

  • but something about this was just SO insulting and SO demeaning.

  • The choices were just SO bad

  • and maybe the fact that they did put in this really good animation just made the insult greater.

  • If it had the animation of, say, "Tarzan and Jane" or one of these TV pilots

  • I'd forgive it a little bit more.

  • But you know that they put in a lot of effort

  • like, yes, this is the script. This is gonna be Mulan II.

  • This is gonna be what everyone is gonna get behind.

  • I don't know, it just really friggin' irked me.

  • And all the characters are unlikeable

  • and generic

  • and bland

  • and not interesting

  • or stupid

  • or just mean-spirited!

  • I can't believe what an asshole Mushu is!

  • And the boyfriend!

  • And Mulan for letting the entire... everything of China die because "follow your heart"

  • which is, like: "Oh my god, what is wrong with this movie?!"

  • It is a mess.

  • It is awful.

  • It just got under my skin I hated it so much!

  • Like I said, I can't say it's officially the worst

  • there's definitely been worse Disney sequels

  • but this one so far, I've hated the most.

  • It sucks. It REALLY sucks.

  • If I ever had a kid and they wanted to see this, I'd say no!

  • I'd just show them the first Mulan again

  • *sigh* I don't even know what to say about it.

  • Just skip it!

  • Don't check it out!

  • If you really love the movie Mulan or even just think it's okay like I do

  • Avoid this at all cost!

  • The only thing it did is that it made me appreciate the first one a lot more.

  • So I guess I'll give it that.

  • But for everything else, this movie can friggin' blow me!

Just a heads up everybody,

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B1 中級

ムーランII - ディズニーセンバー (Mulan II - Disneycember)

  • 214 5
    Chu-chu Fan に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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