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  • Can we name that cheese?

  • Let's talk about that!

  • ♪ (theme music) ♪

  • Good Mythical Morning!

  • You know cheese, it's the good part of broccoli and cheese soup.

  • There are over two-thousand distinctive, different certified types of cheese,

  • and there is a three-hour exam to become a certified cheese "professional."

  • That is a proper name.

  • -Really? -Yes.

  • Well, we are not certified

  • -cheese professionals, -Nope.

  • but I for one love cheese. I like cheese pizza,

  • I put cheese on Ritz Crackers, but it's not very sophisticated. My cheese

  • -experience is not very sophisticated. -Your palate?

  • Today we're going to be tasting some very sophisticated obscure cheeses--

  • -at least in terms of what we know -Uh-huh

  • and seeing if we can identify them based on taste alone!

  • It's time to play:

  • "Who Cut the Cheese, and What Did They Name it?"

  • Well, technically we know who cut the cheese. Chase cut the cheese,

  • -as he always does, but the question is: -Woah, woah, woah...

  • -Do we know-- -What are you trying to say?

  • Everything that you can think I'm saying, I'm saying it.

  • Oh, Okay.

  • But we are going to determine if we can identify the cheese.

  • Right, so what we have in front of us-- of course, we have our cheese boards--

  • the cheese will be presented to us, we'll taste it,

  • but we have a list of the cheese that we will be tasting.

  • And we're trying to, based on the descriptions of these cheeses,

  • match what we're tasting.

  • A cheese cheat sheet.

  • But basically, there's not a whole lot to go on, because we have the name.

  • Like, we're going to be tasting "Epoisses",

  • which comes from an unpasteurized cow.

  • Well, not an unpasteurized cow, but the cow's milk.

  • It's from the village of Epoisses, France, and it's aged six weeks.

  • We're gonna be tasting "Humboldt Fog", which is goat's milk cheese.

  • >From Humboldt County, California.

  • -Aged sixty days. -Oh, hm!

  • Uh, "Cambozola", pasteruized cow milk from Germany.

  • -Patented in 1970. -You can patent a cheese!

  • So, a relatively new cheese.

  • Hm, guess only they can make it. "Torta del Casar"

  • is unpasteurized sheep from Casar de... [mumbles]

  • (both) Spain. (crew laughs)

  • Aged sixty days, minimum.

  • We're gonna be tasting "Hooligan"!

  • Unpasteurized cow milk from Colchester, Connecticut.

  • I've never wanted to taste a hooligan.

  • Aged sixty days.

  • And finally, we're going to be tasting "Rachel".

  • (crew laughs)

  • Which is an unpasteurized goat cheese.

  • -Named Rachel? -From Somerset, England.

  • Named after an old flame of the cheesemaker.

  • -Oh, Rachel! -Ohhh!

  • "Come back to me Rachel, I named a cheese after you!"

  • -How pathetic is that? -So this is not blind,

  • there's no blindfolds in this. We're just gonna have the cheeses brought,

  • and then we're gonna do a little mixing and matching with our cheese flags!

  • Let's do it!

  • ♪ (jaunty piano music) ♪ (both) Round One!

  • Okay, here it is. You know what this is, but we do not.

  • Let's taste it using our toothpicks.

  • What is that on top, like an edge? Of some sort of plaster?

  • Ooh! It's nice.

  • It has a nice...what do you say? What is the correct cheese term?

  • -Aroma. -It has a nice smell.

  • Oh, it doesn't smell bad. Let me taste it.

  • Mmm, wow!

  • -I don't love cheese as much as Rhett does -I love it as much as I do.

  • -That is good. -It's very strong

  • Oh, you know what's up for grabs here?

  • A grilled cheese sandwich, Link. That's the prize.

  • Made out of all the cheeses of your choice

  • and then the nasty ones, the loser has to eat.

  • Okay, I feel pretty strongly.

  • This has-- this one has a very 70's vibe.

  • I don't--I don't think it's a cow though. yeah.

  • I'm--I'm thinking that this is, um, an aged sixty-day goat.

  • You think it's a patented in 1970 Cambozola?

  • It feels very 70's. Cambozola for me.

  • I'm going with the Californian Humboldt Fog.

  • I'm not a--I'm not a fan. If that's-- Whatever it is, I'm not a fan.

  • So we're already starting off in different places, huh?

  • Yeah, bleh.

  • -Okay. -My breath's gonna be great after this

  • Let's keep going!

  • ♪ (jaunty piano music) ♪ (both) Round Two!

  • Okay! Our second cheese requires a spoon to consume.

  • I smelled that when Chase set it down and...it's strong!

  • -Oh gosh, I thought that one was strong! -That one was mild.

  • -Oh this is... -Your world, your cheese world

  • is about to be rocked.

  • Christy would love doing this, but... she loves cheese like you do, but...

  • Oh I know about Christy's love for cheese.

  • -Now, this does not smell.. -That's why I made that

  • macaroni sculpture for her...

  • Which I still have.

  • Sometimes we get together and eat cheese.

  • Shut up!

  • (Link and crew laugh)

  • (imitating Link) "Shut up!"

  • Now, actually, I don't think this

  • -smells strong. -It doesn't smell strong.

  • It smells good! Smells like pudding.

  • -Mmm! It's very... -You gotta admit that's good!

  • Very smooth.

  • "Very pudding-y" is how I would say if I was applying for the

  • certified cheese board. I'd be like,

  • (snooty voice) "Mmm, it's a very pudding-y cheese..."

  • Are any of these gonna be, like, sliced and individually packaged in plastic?

  • 'Cause that's what I'm used to.

  • That's cheese product, Link. That's not cheese.

  • I'm going to--I feel like this has a French flair to it.

  • -Oh...hah, you do? -And, uh

  • -Nah, man... -I'm gonna call this one...it's actually

  • "Epoisses", it's not "Epwaah", I said it wrong, sorry Alex Trebek,

  • It's actually "Epoisses"

  • I'm saying this has got Connecticut written all over it.

  • It's very mild, as we've said, so I'm going with the Hooligan

  • unpasteurized cow cheese.

  • Well, to each his own, Link.

  • Round Three!

  • Look at this! We got another cheese on another board.

  • Now I can look at this, and I already have a theory as to what it is.

  • You know what? That's the funny thing, is that, you eat cheese off the board,

  • but there's probably a "Cheese Board" that makes the decision

  • whether or not we're joining the "Cheese Board".

  • I think so far, they're not happy with us.

  • -Oh, no no, they've got two new candidates -this smells...

  • -for the cheese board. -this smells...

  • This smells, uh, this doesn't smell too surprising.

  • Oh, almost fruity!

  • -Fruity? -Almost fruity!

  • ...not fruity, almost fruity.

  • ...Excellent!

  • (crew laughing)

  • WOW!

  • It's hitting me in so many places!

  • And I'm enjoying every one of 'em!

  • -Is that not great?? -I'm with you.

  • The more it stays in your system,

  • the better it gets, really!

  • -Now there's a fact on here... -Mmm!! Mmm.

  • -...about the Torta del Casar:

  • "The milk is curdled using a coagulant found in the pistils of the cardoon,

  • a wild thistle." And this has a very vegetative flavor to it.

  • And that is why I'm going to say Torta Del Casar.

  • So you think that's a sheep, huh?

  • I know that's sheep. Actually, I don't.

  • -I mean, I'm using-- -I don't think that's sheep, because--

  • I'm using reason, but I don't feel confident in any of my reasons.

  • I don't think that I'm going to like sheep And I really like that.

  • What you got against sheep?

  • -What have sheep ever done to you? -Um, so...

  • -I'm never eating anything from a sheep or -Sheep do nothing but...

  • -...part of a sheep that I liked.

  • What about wool sweaters?

  • I don't eat them!

  • I appreciate the sheep, and what they offer.

  • I am believing that this has got 70's written all over it.

  • Which is a portmanteau of two other cheeses, I'm told.

  • Gorgonzola and Cambodia cheese.

  • Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The Cambodia cheese is one of my favorites!

  • Round Four!

  • Okay, we have another...pudding-y cheese.

  • It looks like cheese goop encased in, like, some sort of heinous bread.

  • It does look like a big ol' like...

  • -It's very moist on the outside. -...biscuit-ish type thing, doesn't it?

  • Let's dig in.

  • -I'm digging in over here, so I can... -I'm diggin' right here.

  • -...take the edge off of this one.

  • Oh, man.

  • [Link] Ooh, that is some runny, runny [Rhett] Wh-OOO!

  • (crew laughs)

  • Oh!

  • Link, you're gonna have a tough time.

  • It's like adhesive.

  • -It looks like adhesive, and it smells -It's caulk!

  • -as strong as...it could be-- -It's caulk!

  • -Caulk cheese... -Did y'all stuff a biscuit with caulk?

  • (Link and Crew laugh)

  • (trucker accent)"Wouldn't be the first time!"

  • "You gotta fill up that biscuit with somethin' "

  • Okay, I'm going for it.

  • Ooh!

  • Woah!!

  • IT'S BITING MY TONGUE! (Rhett clapping)

  • I don't wanna be on the Cheese Board.

  • Oh my goodness!

  • You sure thats...okay?

  • Ew.

  • Ew. After you swallow it...

  • -Hah-haaa

  • Ew...the animal comes out of it.

  • Oh, man.

  • There's a lot of animal in this one!

  • And that animal doesn't moo.

  • I do feel you there.

  • I think that this one is the Torta, but I've already selected the Torta.

  • However, we are gonna have the opportunity to change at the end,

  • so I'm not gonna panic.

  • I could see somebody...if you had a bad relationship with Rachel.

  • You could name the cheese this. 'Cause like,

  • "Man, she was so specific. And she was... everytime...

  • -"She was very sheepish." -...I'd hang out with her..."

  • I'm gonna go with Rachel here.

  • But you know you--you think you...ooh!

  • -You think you're gonna change that later. -She was very mushy.

  • (Crew laughs)

  • That Rachel was very mushy!

  • -Mmm. -Okay. Keep goin'.

  • Round Five!

  • Looky here people, another cheese on another board.

  • -I'm still tasting that one. -Bleh.

  • Which I'm calling Rachel. I think I'm wrong, but I'm still tasting Rachel.

  • Now, um...this cheese does not look well.

  • It's got like, some white moldiness.

  • Eugh.

  • Ooh, it's soft.

  • That one gets you right in the nose.

  • -This doesn't smell bad to me at all! -Man, I was feeling so--

  • Are you saying it smells bad to you?

  • Smell mine.

  • Eugh! Is that your...finger?

  • No, I think it's because I got a little of that crazy edge. Do you not get edge?

  • I didn't get edge. Let me get another one that has edge, and smell it.

  • Yeah, that's a little high-smelling.

  • I was so confident - when I was starting - but I've lose all confidence in my choices

  • -Yeah, this is-- -My brain is cheesed out, right now.

  • Let's just go on a cheese trip here, though.

  • All right, go on.

  • -Nuh-uh. -Ew.

  • No sir.

  • Guys, this is getting bad!

  • Don't wanna ride this train.

  • First time I went to Sundance I met a French woman whose breath smelled like this.

  • (Rhett and crew laugh)

  • -You remember her? -I tried to forget her, until now...

  • She was a high society woman, got right up in your face.

  • ...in your face, and like "wah wah wah"

  • She was like an old rich lady.

  • I've only got two choices left. Because that one did things I don't like--

  • I can only imagine that the last one is gonna do more things I don't like.

  • But at this point, I'm going to have to go with Hooligan. Just because...

  • that one seems like somebody who's up to no good.

  • I might have to do some switching at this point too. But I think,

  • because it's--Rachel is my only goat that I have left.

  • I'm gonna put a little bit of Rachel on this and see what happens.

  • Round Six!

  • All right, look what we have here.

  • This one's got, like, some mold ribboning in it.

  • [Rhett] Mold ribboning is the official name!