Turn it off! Oh yeh, sorry sorry

*screams*

Sorry

I forgot, I forgot

Nee naw, nee naw, nee naw, nee naw

Look me in the eyes, shine a torch

You okay?

No I'm scared, my heart's beating

Let me check your temperature

That's not how you check temperature

Oh sorry

Hello everyone

Welcome back to Suggy Surgery

Now today, my third and potentially final patient, who knows?

Your kidding me, now after me it's the end

Well the thing is I'm worried someone might actually die, during this series

I'm joined with Mr Jack Maynard

How are you feeling?

I'm so scared, I hate pain

You're meant to say pregnant

I'm feeling pregnant

Oh! Well I've been feeling a few kicks in me tummy

I'm not sure if it's a dodgy nandos or if I'm pregnant

So Jack is the third patient in the series

How we do it

Is basically, I'm gonna strap you up to the "contraction machine"

Which apparently emulates the way it feels to have a contraction

Jack all you have to do, to avoid these contractions

Is simply answer a question about the females

Yeah, females

The questions are in my Nintendo Switch pouch

Yep, that's right, I've got a Nintendo Switch

I can't deliver this baby with you in your normal trendy clothes

You know, you're gonna have to go and get changed

Go on, off you pop

As long as it's not the one Mikey wore, I don't really mind

No it's fine, it's not, it's not

Definitely a boy, sounds like a boy

Right, Jack, I'm gonna strap you up to the machine

Are you ready Sir?

No

If you'd like to expose your impregnated area

No, not the vagina, I don't want to see that

It's time for us to play

Baby, baby, baby, *screaming*

Right okay, Jack

For your first contraction, first question is

What is a maxi dress?

A maxi dress

What is a maxi dress?

Maxi

A maxi dress

Maxi

Think

Maximum

Think

Like length, it's a long dress

I'm gonna give it to you

Yes!

Ding! Ding! Ding!

A long dress that reaches the floor

Yeah that's, yeah

Wait so every time I get one, it goes up

Eight's it's big day

So there's eight questions

Do you wanna test eight now?

No no no

So is that eight questions?

No there's a few more than eight

Oh no

Jack, you know a lot about the females

You taught me everything I know

He has

Right, this one comes in from Emily Chamberlain

Thanks Emily

She says, Jack

She didn't say 'love you' though, bit harsh

I'll say four

Bearing in mind, it could be a trick question

Ermmmmm

The way you're holding it, is really like giving me anxiety

How many, Jack?

How many different types of orgasm?

Two!

The actual answer was eleven

WHAT?!

Which I'm__

I haven't even made one

Exactly, I am jealous

When do you stop?

I will tell you

*screaming*

No no no no no no

3 2 1

*screams*

Yes, I can feel it

Right, next up

This one comes in from Naomi Mae

Sounds weird

Nothing sounds weird on this channel Naomi

Trust me it doesn't

Average cup size for a lady

So... the cup size is the letter?

Yes

I'm gonna chuck it out and say 'C'

'C'? You're locking in 'C'?

Yep, I'm locking in 'C'

Oh Jack

Oh no. No. Wait what was it though

It was 'C'!

YES!!!

He got it

He's nailed it

Congratulations, that was a toughy

I like this question

Now other than the lovely refreshing taste...

Why might a girl drink cranberry juice

*whispers* Do you think you know this one?

And she's not in a club trying to mix it with vodka

Not that reason

Do girls get like cravings as well?

Is it something to do with their period?

Incorrect Jack

Oh no

It's to soothe a urinary infection

Oh mate, I'd never have got that

No no no no no

Here we go... (3) NO! (2) NO! (1) NO!

*screams* Stop it!

*screams*

Can you feel it?

Ahhh, yeah I can feel it

Is it a baby?

Has it arrived Jack?

I think it's coming!

Okay, on average

What is the most expensive style...

of knickers

That's right... knickers!

Is it 'A' - a thong

Ooo Jack, a thong

Is it 'B' - french knickers

Is it 'C' - waist clencher

Or is it 'D' - boxers

I think I've heard of this one

Bear in mind...

thongs don't have a lot of material to them

Is it 'C'?

The waist clencher

Yeah

Jack

Oh no

You've seen how intricate french knickers are

But you are right, it was 'C' - waist clenchers

It was

How did you know that?

I lived with a girl for a year and I remember her saying

Well, I would have thought it would be like french knickers though

Right, this one's from Girl Maynard

My girl

They aren't talking iPad, they're talking like pad, pad

They're sticky parts that... oh wait, I just gave you the answer, s***

That's so embarrassing

I didn't know where the... she didn't put 'Q' then 'A' underneath

Sorry Girl Maynard, I messed that up

I'm gonna shock you anyway

NOOO! *screams*

*laughter*

You weren't expecting that one were ya

Okay, this is a good one

This one comes in from Hattie Dreamcast...

Demarest, sorry I got that wrong

Dreamcast? *laughs*

Ahhh, remember dreamcast

What a console

...okay

Did you know the answer to this one

I know the answer cuz apparently Tom Cruise also ate it

Cheeky little devil

The something sac, what is it?

Not a ball sac, give you a clue, not a ball sac

Ermmm, the baby's ball sac *laughter*

The *mumbles* sac

Something *mumbles* sac

The Theresa May sac?

Yeah

The Theresa May sac, you're locking that in?

The Theresa May sac...

I'm sorry it was the placenta

Four! *screams*

Oh my God, that hurts a lot more

Yeah, feel that

*screams*

Feel that, have some of that

Take a deep breath cuz I got a feeling you're gonna get this wrong

Name any of the four main characters in Gilmore Girls

Oh mate

I've never watched it, I've never watched it

Just give me some names, you might be close

Alice, Harriet, Laura aaaaaaand Theresa

I was gonna say if you could guess any of the first names

I would still give it to you but no

Lorelai Gilmore, Rory Gilmore, Sookie St. James and Lane Kim

Imagine if I guessed

Ermm and we'll just throw it in there, Sookie St. James

*laughter*

I'd be like, oh my god

Here we go

Five! *screams* Five!

Oh my *screams*

Suck it in

*screams*

Suck it in, get it out yet?

I've heard stories about you

I feel like you might know this one

Which... that sounds really bad

Which of these is the name of a premium vibrator

Wait, what?

We ain't talking ya bog standard cheap fidget spinner kind of s***

We're talking, ya premium vibrator

Why would I know?

Is it 'A' - a flounder

*laughing* a flounder

*laughing* a fish

a flounder

*laughter*

Ohhh a flounder

'B' - a letterman

As in like a letter box, like hello

No, no it's not

'C' - a cishun

Or 'D' - doxie

Flounder, letterman, cishun or doxie

What you gonna go with Jack?

Well flounder is a fish

Think back to, yeh but they could be named after a fish

You ever seen how a flounder moves

Yeh but a flounder isn't__

They flounder about in the water

Like this...

There's nothing sexy about a flounder

Like imagine that, imagine that, that's gonna be fun

I only know one of them

What've you heard of?

Which one have you heard of Jack?

Ermm 'D' what was it, doxie

I'm going for doxie

You're right!

YES!

It was doxie

I need to check your gender

I reckon you are actually secretly a girl

Jack is secretly a girl everyone

Next question and this is a tough one

What rating has the new Wonder Woman film got on IMDb

I keep feeling 7.5, I'm locking it in

7.5

Oh Jack, Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack

It was

8.3

NO!

*screams* NO!

Oh my word

It was 8.3

Ohhh

Oh my God, it's a big one

You should know it, this is definitely...

in the curriculum at school

like you should know this, this is in like biology

Alright

What is ovulation?

Is it to do with like inflaming of... the womb

Inflaming of the womb

Jack Maynard thinks that ovulation

is when the walls of your womb get inflamed

What school did you go to?

Cardinal Newman

Okay, Cardinal Newman, I'm sorry

Ermmm Jack has failed you

It's when the ovaries are releasing eggs

It's when a woman's at her most fertile

Ovulation mate, ovaries, ovulation

I'm ovulating, that's what girls say

Come on! Come on! *screams*

*shouting* Oh my! Oh my God!

Take that, go on! Suck it in!

Hold on if you need to

Nah that's too tight, ah ah ahhhh

PMS stands for

Pooey Man Sausage

*laughter*

Come on