Raise your hands.

I am sorry I was eight hours late for brunch yesterday.

I...I..I forgot.

I'm speechless.

I just don't believe in being on time.

Ah, crap.

I forgot my pills.

I've been so busy today.

Actually I've been looking at pictures of baby goats.

Yeah, I've been really busy,

three hours of doing work.

(three hours of looking at baby goats)

I'm feeling really good about myself tonight,

so I am just gonna

have some water, refreshing.

Oh no, I missed my mouth

Looking flawless like my dreams.

Girl, I know I am a mess,

but that's what I live for.

I don't follow rules.

I follow dogs on social media.

You know how I get my look?

My routine?

I roll outta bed and show up.

I don't like effort.

Sorry, it took me three years to respond back to your text because

I don't really understand technology

and I'm sorry for the divorce.

Oh, I'm sorry um......

What were we doing?

Oh, uh... yea

I'm sorry I just do that sometimes

on surfaces and couches.

Couchs

Couches

Couch

I don't know how to say it.

My life is a chain of awkward selfies.

I feel so cute tonight.

So I'm going to take a picture of myself.

(sneezes)

Oh no.

Love me or hate me,

but I'm awkward..so..

Gotta deal with it honey.

I know it's Saturday, but I can't come out.

I'm old and tired.

Respect your elders.

My back!

People keep saying, "Charlene, why are you so extra?",

but I think about it, and I'm like....

not as extra as the extra large fries I'm eating tonight.

I'm literally the best person I know.

I talk to myself all the time.

I hang out with myself all the time,

like seriously.

I can listen to Despacito alone

What are you?

Humans....