HE REFUSED TO CUT OF HIS DREADLOCKS

WHACKED HIM LIKE PACINO THEN I SCREAMED "HOO AH!"

NOW I'LL RUIN ALL OF HIS COOL STUFF

WAIT IS THIS A LONG PINK LIGHTSABER

OR AM I JUST REALLY HAPPY TO SEE YA

LET'S SEE WHAT OTHER TOYS THIS NERD HAS GOT

OH SWEET, IT'S A MASK OF CHEWBACCA

WHY DOES HE STILL HAVE THESE DVD'S?

SHARKNADO 3 AND HUMAN CENTIPEDE?

ITS THE CLASSIC STAR WARS TRILOGY

WHEN GREEDO GOT SHOT FIRST BY HAN AND THAT WAS UN-PC

NOW I'M REALLY PISSING OFF THE MAID

HOLY BANTHA CRAP, THAT'S MY DARTH VADER CASE!

THESE FIGURES AREN'T WORTH A LOT TODAY

COULDN'T KEEP 'EM IN THE PACKAGE I HAD TO PLAY

I AM CHEWBACCA

I'M PLAYING MOTHAF**KIN' STAR WARS

IT'S JABBA THE HUTT!

THAT'S HOW THEM EWOKS TALK ON ENDOR

VADER KILLED MY ONLY HOMIE OBI-WAN

THEN I TOOK A NAP INSIDE A DEAD TAUNTAUN

SOLO CUT HIM OPEN AND SAID, I

I THOUGHTTHEY SMELLED BAD ON THE OUTSIDE!

JEDI TRAINING WITH MY GREEN LIFE COACH YODA

MY SHIP GOES IN THE SWANP

R2 SAYS BLEEP BLOP

I FREAKIN' LEFT THE KEYS IN THE IGNITION

CAN'T CALL TRIPLE A

BECAUSE DEGOBAH HAS NO RECEPTION

YODA LECTURES ME ANNOYINGLY

SOUNDS LIKE A BACKWARDS TALKING MISS PIGGY

WHEN 900 YEARS OLD YOU REACH

LOOK AS GOOD AS MWAH YOU WILL NOT, KERMIE

YOU TRIED TO KILL ME BUT I DIDN'T DIE

CALL IT RETURN OF THE DREAD GUY

YOU CUT YOUR DREADS WITHOUT ASKING ME

GOT SICK OF HAVING HAIR LIKE A BONSAI TREE

THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE

THIS IS ACTUALLY A CLONE WAR

I AM YOUR FATHER

THE WEEKND HAS JOINED THE DARK SIDE

I FINALLY GET TO HAVE MY OWN TOYS