This week: "Hollywood Whitewashing—how is this still a thing?"

In just one week we’ll celebrate the Academy Awards.

They promise to be controversial,

as for the second year running, the nominees are whiter than a yeti in a snowstorm, fighting Tilda Swinton.

And yet some are arguing it’s not entirely the Academy’s fault.

Rob Reynolds: Some observers say Hollywood just doesn’t provide enough good roles for black actors.

One of the reasons for this might be that even when there are roles for non-white actors,

they sometimes still get played by white people.

CNN Host: In Prince of Persia, based on a video game set in ancient Iran,

Jake Gyllenhaal plays the title character.

That’s right. Jake Gyllenhaal, a white American with a Swedish last name

was cast to play the Prince of Persia from you know, Persia.

And he’s far from alone. Just last year, Emma Stone played the half Asian Allison Ng in Aloha.

Apparently, Aloha means "hello", "goodbye" and "you've got to be fucking kidding me!"

And when Hollywood needed actors to play Egyptians in Exodus: Gods and Kings,

they knew just what to do.

"Moses, Ramesses, you grew up together close as brothers."

That was a guy from Australia and a guy from Britain, pretending to be two guys from Egypt, a country in Africa.

And if you like that, don't miss Gods of Egypt, opening Friday, starring a Scottish guy.

"I, shall be the one to..."

Wow, that's the whitest Egyptian since these four.

All of this is nothing new.

White actors have taken roles designed for every ethnicity throughout Hollywood history,

from John Wayne as Genghis Khan in the Conqueror.

"Your treacherous head is not safe on your shoulders."

to the non-Puerto Rican Natalie Wood as Maria in West Side Story.

（外語）

to the multiple instances of white actors playing Asian characters from Marlon Brando,

"Sakini by name, interpreter by profession."

to, of course, this,

"You cannot go on keep ringing my bell."

It's a performance the New York Times in 1961 actually praised as "broadly exotic", seriously.

Yes, there's no shortage of roles for white actors playing non-white characters.

The historical figure you're playing wasn't white?

Not a problem.

The contemporary figure you're playing wasn't white?

Not a problem.

The cartoon the movie was based on was entirely about non-white people?

Not a problem.

Your characters are named Esteban and Clara Trueba in the Isabel Allende novel the movie is based on?

Right this way. Jeremy Irons and Meryl Streep.

And even when a non-white person does score a major role,

when they make the porn parody, guess what happens?

"Don't worry. I got this one."

"No, Glen, put your dick away."

And when film makers get called out on "whitewashing", their justification has less to do with black and white,

and more to do with green.

Director Ridley Scott told Variety magazine he can't mount a $140-million film and

"say that my lead actor is Mohammad so-and-so from such-and-such..."

Yeah, you needed a white hot star power of whoever the fuck this guy is.

Maybe all of us would be less egregious

if any time an actor of color took on a traditionally white role,

half the country didn't go eight shit.

The appearance of a black stormtrooper in the first trailer for Star Wars: The Force Awakens

is causing a lot of chatter on social media, even some racist comments

Several people were apparently upset that the actress playing the character is African American.

He'd be the first black Bond.

The author of those Bond novels is saying Alba is too "street".

Yes, if you're black, even if you're an actor who sometimes dresses like French Waldo, people will still say you're too "street".

And this isn't even getting into how movies about minorities will still put white people in the foreground.

How are we supposed to believe Tom Cruise is the Last Samurai?

This guy is the Last Samurai?

This guy?

This guy is the Last Samurai?

This guy...

This guy is the last Samurai.

Fuck you.

So when you hear people say the Oscars are so white because the roles aren't there,

just remember, the Academy gave Oscars for characters named O-Lan, Billy Kwan, and Luis Molina,

to actors named Luise, Linda and William,

all of which is enough to make you ask,

"Hollywood Whitewashing—how is this still a thing?"