字幕表 動画を再生する 英語字幕をプリント It's like living with like a leash on, a little bit. You can do some stuff, but every now and then you remember that "it's" there. I was living in Japan during the earthquake in 2011. A few weeks and months of political unrest while I was living overseas. We lived with bags by the door, ready to go, in case we needed to get out. I found out in 2008 I had PTSD, Complex PTSD, but I think the diagnosis should have probably been made when I was 14 years old. I was raped and as a result I live with PTSD. The civil war in Lebanon broke out in 1975. I was only 17 years old. I lived through that for about 12 years. As it kind of sunk in, I started to feel really guilty, because I had always associated PTSD with people who had been to war, and I just didn't think I deserved it. The PTSD triggers, they ambush you. You don't know when it's going to come. It's with the unknown everyday you wake up and you don't know if you are going to have a trigger today. I was at a movie and there's a part where this woman got trapped in a car. I had a serious panic attack. There's a song that was talking about like, shooting and armed robbery. And just hearing that song, like, that was all it took. Something happened when I was 13 and when my trigger happens, in that moment, I am 13. Usuallly the sounds of jet planes overhead would trigger off the memory for me of those days. It would make me feel weak in the legs, and my memory will go back to that time, trying to look after my children when they were little and protect them. All I have to do is hear a jet plane, and that's where my mind would go. At times it has literally felt like I'm dying. You feel like you're never going to get past this. One of the things that's helped me a lot was group therapy. This happens to more people than you think. I start to have a conversation with this thing that you have. I did counseling for two years in college. It felt like that got my life into a pretty manageable place. I am trying to build up the courage to attend a support group. I would have these days where you're just like, you know, there's nothing I can do to do anything that you're supposed to do. In group therapy, someone called it a lost day. It's such a simple thing, but putting the words "lost day" to those days helped me, like, overcome. And I think accepting that is really important, and to just be, like, it's OK to, like, freak out. And just be, like, this is scary, because it's scary. And don't ever tell them to get over it, because it's extremely painful. It takes practice, and it takes patience, and it takes faith. You have to know that the fact that you've been through something so traumatic, and you're here. You are much stronger than you think you are. Don't feel guilty when you have a good day. Give yourself time to heal. You can't judge yourself for it. It'll never be the same, but it can get better. And it's worth whatever it's going to take. You can have a better life. There's light at the end of the tunnel. You've just got to find the right thing that works for you. And getting help is not a sign of weakness. It takes a lot of strength and a lot of courage. And you deserve the happiness that comes with getting better. My name is Kate. My name is Tammy. My name is Kirk. [All] And I live with PTSD.