Don't apologize for who you are and then become even greater

than you naturally are at what you are.

("Unstoppable" by This Is Wolff)

("Doubt It" by Kyle)

My inbox, that form on my website that goes to De Simone,

the biggest thing that I want from this salesperson is not to

do new business for VaynerMedia the way you

and I think about it.

It's to turn the 400 to 900 requests a week we get

that really want some version of me.

They don't even know what they want into something.

It's time to create a CRM of everybody who asked me for

something, convert them into something for myself,

VaynerMedia or the Vayner family of millions of characters and

then create data.

I love it.

Well, listen I'm gonna talk to my brother and see if we can see

if we can figure something out that's cool,

fun, interesting and worthwhile for everybody.

- [Man] Awesome, Gary. Thank you so much.

- My pleasure have a great day, my man.

Bye-bye. I will.

Keep at it.

I will.

There's one fucking thing I can guarantee.

Everybody right now, let's go Jets.

Jets hat.

That I'm gonna keep fucking at it.

We close? - [Avi] Block away.

- Bam.

Nice to meet you man. You too, bro.

Where am I goin'?

- [Man 2] Eight. - Eight.

Hello, how are you? - [Woman] Good. How are you?

- [Gary] Good. I'm Gary Vaynerchuk.

- [Alyson] Gary? - [Gary] Yep.

How have you been? - [Alyson] I've been great.

Have you ever been to our office?

- [Gary] Mhmmm. I have. I have.

How's the podcast been going? - [Alyson] Good.

(inaudible)

- [Gary] How many have you done so far?

- [Alyson] I've done five or six and I've got,

I think I've got six more crammed in next week.

So we're doing, it's been tech entrepreneurs so far.

Next week we have Tim Armstrong's gonna do one.

Gonna interview Sheryl Sandberg.

- [Gary] That's awesome. - [Alyson] Yeah, so.

- [Gary] You're legit.

- [Alyson] It's a good group. - [Gary] Clearly.

It's so funny.

I actually think my kids are going to have a harder time

being successful than I was.

I think being born in Belarus coming here with nothing.

My parents working every minute, that instilled a huge

competitive advantage, a chip on my shoulder,

a work ethic that I think there's a very good reason that

in the American meritocracy system to the,

you know, by comparison.

There's always stuff.

But in capitalism or the version that we've lived through in the

last 50 years in America, immigrants win a lot.

I was a very poor student which was really unusual for

immigrants but I don't see education as my way out.

I knew that I had it and that originally started as

I'm a good salesman.

And then it was I'm a good businessman and then it was

I'm a good operator and now the

current terms is I'm a good entrepreneur.

So yeah, it's a DNA thing with me.

Even online dating.

I met my wife on JDate, right? In 2003.

- [Alyson] I didn't know it was around in 2003.

- Right. And when it was super like sacrilege.

- [Alyson] Were you the only two users?

- No. New York Jewish dating scene was pretty hoppin' but

I just remember thinking like in 10 years every single person,

I didn't think they'd be swiping to the right but I'm like every

person's gonna do this 'cause this is practical.

And so, people are romantic.

People are like well I'll never buy a tomato on the internet.

This is what I heard in '96.

I'm like, "You will."

'Cause time is valuable.

Because other things matter more.

And so, I knew because I thought people would buy stuff on the

internet long before a lot of people thought.

- [Alyson] What is dinner like with Mark Zuckerberg?

- Well, listen, this is 2008, '09, '10.

That's the Mark I know.

I knew it.

Like when I tell you I knew it,

I wish I was video blogging back then.

The first dinner I had, it was interesting to me.

So I'm built on emotional intelligence.

I'm not the smartest.

I just know what people are gonna do.

So he's a tech kid and an engineer and a Harvard kid

so I go in thinking he's that.

I leave that dinner I'm like fuck,

this kid absolutely gets human behavior.

So that's when I knew, binarily, that he was gonna win.

'Cause I'm like wow, he's got both.

He know how to build it.

Like I can't build stuff.

I'm not an engineer, it's not what I'm into.

I'm like but he understands what I understand.

That was it.

I mean I was just bought into him from Day One.

He's super smart.

Listen we're a funny match in the 10 or 15 times we've

interacted 'cause I only want to talk and

he only wants to listen.

That's why he'll probably end up with a hell of a lot more money

and be successful but he's extremely bright.

I like him a lot.

I think he's kind but most of all he just understands people.

And that's weird because people look at him as introverted and

quirky and all that but I don't see it.

And I never saw it.

Obviously, he's more media trained and grown into himself.

So I can't speak to how he rolls now 'cause I haven't spent time

with him but I can definitely tell you there was no confusion

from those initial meetings for me and I mean none.

- [Alyson] How do you get rid of friends who are useless to you?

- You know what's funny?

It's not useless, right?

This has been the one that I've been very hot on talking about

in the world but I've been scared of because even when you just

said that I was (groans) this guy's terrible.

- [Alyson] It's a good provocative headline.

- It is. I think people are keeping very negative people

around them and if they aspire to change their situation it's

imperative to audit the seven to ten people that are around you

and the reason I go after a friend or a parent,

in the details of that headline I said hey,

you may have to audit your mom.

And not that I want you to never talk to your mom again but you

may want to take a step back.

And I've done this for friends and acquaintances and it's a

very painful eye-opening experience to realize wait a

minute my dad actually doesn't want me to be successful because

he's not happy.

And, you know, whether you call it misery loves company.

And it's not that parents are bad people,

it's a human trait.

It's just a thing.

So to me the world where it's much harder to get rid of your

older sister forever, it might be intriguing to say hey,

I've had this friend who spends all their time making sure I'm

not going to the next level and it really came around the fact

of who listens to you when you complain?

The only groups of people that will listen to you are the

people that have to, your core family,

and your other loser friends. Right?

Like the other people who also want to complain about their

boss and yeah I thought it was actually a very good emotional,

not willing to be talked about,

non-politically correct thing to say.

Maybe if you got rid of one friend or spent a lot less time

with one friend who's a real drag and a negative force and

added a positive person in your office as somebody you now,

if you switched it from 80 days hanging with your negative

friend and 1 day with your office acquaintance who's super

positive to 4 days with your negative friend and 12 with this

other person, not only do I believe,

I've physically watched me mentor people in my

organizations to a totally different life on that thesis.

Listen, I don't hide from being an extrovert.

It comes natural to me.

I can't contain it.

I actually think there's plenty of negatives that

go along with being out there.

But I think whether, you know I see a lot of people who come to

me, introverts, "Hey Gary, I want to be like you.

"I want to be out there." I'm like why?

And they're like, I'm like, "You're crushing it being you.

"You need to be more you. Not a little bit of me."

Self-awareness. I need to run

and we'll do this again, I promise.

Self-awareness and then reverse engineer and put yourself in a

position to succeed.

Let's go, Just. We're late.

("Remember Me?" by Kyle ft. Chance The Rapper)

How are you? - [Man 3] Good, Gary.

Thank you so much for doing this, man.

I really appreciate it. - My pleasure.

I mean you've got a good sales pitch.

It's only four minutes. - [Man 3] No worries.

- [Gary] I just can't explain to everybody clearer when you

figure out who you are and do all that, you win.

If you're great at painting, paint and hire a partner

to be your salesperson.

If somebody at 20 years old made me their business partner as a

painter, they'd be the most famous painter in the world.

Yet, most painters want to be

the salesman and businessman and

women as well as the painter and there's a problem.

85% of painting, 90% of people that are great at painting are

artists and don't have the DNA to sell and vice versa.

All my sales friends and business friends that want to

start all these businesses around something creative,

I have bad news for you, Joel.

You know, you could be a great salesman but

your pottery sucks shit. And so that's that.

That's a very funny analogy for the following.

Figure out who you are, don't apologize for who you are and

then become even greater than

you naturally are at what you are.

- [Man 3] I think too many people give a shit what other

people think of them as well.

- The whole game's broken because everybody's too tied up

into other people's opinions.

I only care about my opinion of myself.

And I care what my mom and wife and kids and the world think,

just not as much as I care about the way I think myself.

And that's it.

Just that slight advantage and I think most of you care more what

other people think than what you think about yourself and/or

you actually don't feel good about yourself, right?

The thing that made me smile, when you just introduced me you

said I'm one of the most motivational people in the

world, and everybody I know that's met him

said he's the nicest guy.

There's no comparison to the better feeling that people that

have actually gotten to know me say that versus millions,

hundreds of thousands, tens of thousands

thinking I'm the coolest.

And that's it. I mean, that's it.

And that's why it's easy for me to feel good about myself.

Right?

And so, I think a lot of people need to start with themselves.

Maybe the reason they don't have more confidence in themselves or

care about their opinion about themselves versus others is

'cause they know they're doing things they don't like.

So they need to work on that.

I get offered and emailed 5,000 different

requests for podcasts

and shows and what I think my friend here,

let's see his name, Evan.

Beau, I'm sorry.

Evan Carmichael introduced me to Beau.