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  • I was born and raised in North Korea.

  • Although my family constantly struggled against poverty,

  • I was always loved and cared for first,

  • because I was the only son

  • and the youngest of two in the family.

  • But then the great famine began in 1994.

  • I was four years old.

  • My sister and I would go searching for firewood

  • starting at 5 in the morning

  • and come back after midnight.

  • I would wander the streets searching for food,

  • and I remember seeing a small child

  • tied to a mother's back eating chips,

  • and wanting to steal them from him.

  • Hunger is humiliation. Hunger is hopelessness.

  • For a hungry child, politics and freedom

  • are not even thought of.

  • On my ninth birthday, my parents

  • couldn't give me any food to eat.

  • But even as a child, I could feel the heaviness

  • in their hearts.

  • Over a million North Koreans died of starvation in that time,

  • and in 2003, when I was 13 years old,

  • my father became one of them.

  • I saw my father wither away and die.

  • In the same year, my mother disappeared one day,

  • and then my sister told me

  • that she was going to China to earn money,

  • but that she would return with money and food soon.

  • Since we had never been separated,

  • and I thought we would be together forever,

  • I didn't even give her a hug when she left.

  • It was the biggest mistake I have ever made in my life.

  • But again, I didn't know

  • it was going to be a long goodbye.

  • I have not seen my mom or my sister since then.

  • Suddenly, I became an orphan and homeless.

  • My daily life became very hard,

  • but very simple.

  • My goal was to find a dusty piece of bread in the trash.

  • But that is no way to survive.

  • I started to realize, begging would not be the solution.

  • So I started to steal from food carts in illegal markets.

  • Sometimes, I found small jobs

  • in exchange for food.

  • Once, I even spent two months in the winter

  • working in a coal mine,

  • 33 meters underground without any protection

  • for up to 16 hours a day.

  • I was not uncommon.

  • Many other orphans survived this way, or worse.

  • When I could not fall asleep from bitter cold

  • or hunger pains,

  • I hoped that, the next morning,

  • my sister would come back to wake me up

  • with my favorite food.

  • That hope kept me alive.

  • I don't mean big, grand hope.

  • I mean the kind of hope that made me believe

  • that the next trash can had bread,

  • even though it usually didn't.

  • But if I didn't believe it, I wouldn't even try,

  • and then I would die.

  • Hope kept me alive.

  • Every day, I told myself,

  • no matter how hard things got,

  • still I must live.

  • After three years of waiting for my sister's return,

  • I decided to go to China to look for her myself.

  • I realized

  • I couldn't survive much longer this way.

  • I knew the journey would be risky,

  • but I would be risking my life either way.

  • I could die of starvation like my father in North Korea,

  • or at least I could try for a better life

  • by escaping to China.

  • I had learned that many people tried to cross

  • the border to China in the nighttime to avoid being seen.

  • North Korean border guards often shoot and kill people

  • trying to cross the border without permission.

  • Chinese soldiers will catch

  • and send back North Koreans,

  • where they face severe punishment.

  • I decided to cross during the day,

  • first because I was still a kid and scared of the dark,

  • second because I knew I was already taking a risk,

  • and since not many people tried to cross during the day,

  • I thought I might be able to cross

  • without being seen by anyone.

  • I made it to China on February 15, 2006.

  • I was 16 years old.

  • I thought things in China would be easier,

  • since there was more food.

  • I thought more people would help me.

  • But it was harder than living in North Korea,

  • because I was not free.

  • I was always worried about being caught

  • and sent back.

  • By a miracle, some months later,

  • I met someone who was running

  • an underground shelter for North Koreans,

  • and was allowed to live there

  • and eat regular meals for the first time in many years.

  • Later that year, an activist helped me escape China

  • and go to the United States as a refugee.

  • I went to America without knowing a word of English,

  • yet my social worker told me that I had to go to high school.

  • Even in North Korea, I was an F student.

  • (Laughter)

  • And I barely finished elementary school.

  • And I remember I fought in school more than once a day.

  • Textbooks and the library were not my playground.

  • My father tried very hard to motivate me into studying,

  • but it didn't work.

  • At one point, my father gave up on me.

  • He said, "You're not my son anymore."

  • I was only 11 or 12, but it hurt me deeply.

  • But nevertheless, my level of motivation

  • still didn't change before he died.

  • So in America, it was kind of ridiculous

  • that they said I should go to high school.

  • I didn't even go to middle school.

  • I decided to go, just because they told me to,

  • without trying much.

  • But one day, I came home and my foster mother

  • had made chicken wings for dinner.

  • And during dinner, I wanted to have one more wing,

  • but I realized there were not enough for everyone,

  • so I decided against it.

  • When I looked down at my plate,

  • I saw the last chicken wing, that my foster father had given me his.

  • I was so happy.

  • I looked at him sitting next to me.

  • He just looked back at me very warmly,

  • but said no words.

  • Suddenly I remembered my biological father.

  • My foster father's small act of love

  • reminded me of my father,

  • who would love to share his food with me

  • when he was hungry, even if he was starving.

  • I felt so suffocated that I had so much food in America,

  • yet my father died of starvation.

  • My only wish that night was to cook a meal for him,

  • and that night I also thought of what else I could do

  • to honor him.

  • And my answer was to promise to myself

  • that I would study hard and get the best education

  • in America to honor his sacrifice.

  • I took school seriously,

  • and for the first time ever in my life,

  • I received an academic award for excellence,

  • and made dean's list from the first semester in high school.

  • (Applause)

  • That chicken wing changed my life.

  • (Laughter)

  • Hope is personal. Hope is something

  • that no one can give to you.

  • You have to choose to believe in hope.

  • You have to make it yourself.

  • In North Korea, I made it myself.

  • Hope brought me to America.

  • But in America, I didn't know what to do,

  • because I had this overwhelming freedom.

  • My foster father at that dinner gave me a direction,

  • and he motivated me and gave me a purpose

  • to live in America.

  • I did not come here by myself.

  • I had hope, but hope by itself is not enough.

  • Many people helped me along the way to get here.

  • North Koreans are fighting hard to survive.

  • They have to force themselves to survive,

  • have hope to survive,

  • but they cannot make it without help.

  • This is my message to you.

  • Have hope for yourself,

  • but also help each other.

  • Life can be hard for everyone, wherever you live.

  • My foster father didn't intend to change my life.

  • In the same way, you may also change someone's life

  • with even the smallest act of love.

  • A piece of bread can satisfy your hunger,

  • and having the hope will bring you bread

  • to keep you alive.

  • But I confidently believe that

  • your act of love and caring

  • can also save another Joseph's life

  • and change thousands of other Josephs

  • who are still having hope to survive.

  • Thank you.

  • (Applause)

  • Adrian Hong: Joseph, thank you for sharing

  • that very personal and special story with us.

  • I know you haven't seen your sister for, you said,

  • it was almost exactly a decade,

  • and in the off chance that she may be able to see this,

  • we wanted to give you an opportunity

  • to send her a message.

  • Joseph Kim: In Korean?

  • AH: You can do English, then Korean as well.

  • (Laughter)

  • JK: Okay, I'm not going to make it any longer in Korean

  • because I don't think I can make it

  • without tearing up.

  • Nuna, it has been already 10 years

  • that I haven’t seen you.

  • I just wanted to say

  • that I miss you, and I love you,

  • and please come back to me and stay alive.

  • And I -- oh, gosh.

  • I still haven't given up my hope to see you.

  • I will live my life happily

  • and study hard

  • until I see you,

  • and I promise I will not cry again.

  • (Laughter)

  • Yes, I'm just looking forward to seeing you,

  • and if you can't find me,

  • I will also look for you,

  • and I hope to see you one day.

  • And can I also make a small message to my mom?

  • AH: Sure, please.

  • JK: I haven't spent much time with you,

  • but I know that you still love me,

  • and you probably still pray for me

  • and think about me.

  • I just wanted to say thank you

  • for letting me be in this world.

  • Thank you.

  • (Applause)

I was born and raised in North Korea.

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TED】ジョセフ・キム。北朝鮮で失った家族。そして私が得た家族 (【TED】Joseph Kim: The family I lost in North Korea. And the family I gained.)

  • 1980 199
    VoiceTube に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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