[CLUB MUSIC PLAYING]

[CROWD SOUNDS]

-What are we doing here?

-Come on, David, we can't go Swenson's every night.

-I'm going to get me a big glass of booze.

-OK, well wait for me then.

Hey.

Jesus.

Hold on guys.

Hold up.

Hey.

Guys.

-Hey.

-Whoa!

-Can I ask you a favor?

-I don't know you.

-My boyfriend's about to come in, and I

need to make him jealous.

Will you dance with me for a few minutes?

-I really don't feel comfortable doing that.

-Come on, he tried to fuck my sister.

-OK.

I guess so.

-Thanks.

-Whoa.

Ah heh.

-There he is.

-Whoa.

-Blair!

What the fuck?

-Thank god you came back.

I mean, this jerk was trying to kiss me!

-I wasn't.

-Oh my god, I'm going to pummel you.

-Oh.

Ahh!

-Don't worry.

I'm not really going to hurt you.

I've been trying to break up with her for weeks because I'm

in love with her sister.

So just give a good performance and everyone's a

winner.

-OK, OK, OK.

-And take.

-Ow!

-And, and take.

-Ahh.

-And I'm going to-- son of a bitch, you.

-Noo!

-You son of a bitch, you.

You are dead.

You are dead.

I'm going to punch you.

-That stings!

-Good job.

-[GROANS, GRUNTS]

-[SNIFF]

It's over!

-Now, wait a second, I was not trying to kiss you.

-No, I am so sorry I lied.

I, I didn't know he was going to punch you.

-And he really hurt me bad.

-God, you poor, poor baby.

-Yeah.

That's right.

-Oh, baby--

-Yeah, yeah, kind of--

-Baby.

-Feels bad and good at--

-David?

Oh, there you are.

I want you to meet my new boyfriend, Jake.

Blair?

-What?

-What are you doing with David?

-Wait a minute, are you two sisters?

-OK, look, Blair, I'm sorry.

I'm in love with Jake.

And I can't do anything about it.

-That's life, I guess.

Don't worry.

I have a really good thing going with David here, whose

name I now know.

-I'm so happy for you guys.

Give me a hug.

-(TOGETHER) Ahh.

-Ohh!.

Listen, FYI, just between the three of us, I

am so not into Jake.

He's all like, in love with me.

And I'm like, eww, gag me with a spoon, you know.

But I'm so happy that you guys hit it off.

-(TOGETHER) Yeah.

-[LAUGHS]

We really have a spark.

-That's great.

Come on, let's all dance a little.

-(TOGETHER) Yeah.

[DANCE MUSIC]

-Between you and me, I'm not into Blair at all.

There's no spark there.

-Wow.

Are you going to tell her?

-What do I say?

-I don't know.

But you owe it to her to be honest with her.

A sharp knife cuts clean.

-Shouldn't you be doing the same thing with Jake?

-Yeah, I probably should.

-[LAUGHS]

-[LAUGHS]

-Hey, Blair.

-Hey!

-I don't think it's going to work out between us.

But it's not you.

I don't want to be with anybody right now.

-OK.

I mean, I'm bummed, but I'm not that bummed.

-OK.

-Jake, I don't think I can be with anybody right now.

-Fair enough.

-Cool.

-Coming through.

-(TOGETHER) Yay!

-You guys are having fun.

-Yeah.

-Wow, she is hot, David.

-I know.

But I'm not even into her.

So you ask her out.

-Would you like to go out on a date with me?

-Um, OK.

-OK, I'll meet you right here, right now.

-I'm here.

Ha ha ha ha.

-You're so fun.

-I know.

[GIGGLES]

Ooh.

-I've heard of a quick love connection, but this is

ridiculous, eh?

-I'm Jake Messerman.

-Hey, I'm married and straight.

-Doesn't hurt to try though, right?

-No, man.

[SOFT JAZZ PLAYING]

-God, what a night, huh?

-You telling me.

Maybe one of the weirdest nights of my life.

-Ha ha, what was the weirdest part for you?

-Ah, when the circus elephants smashed through the window and

into the club.

-You're right.

-It's amazing they didn't shut down the place, I mean, at

least for the night.

-I guess they just need the income

from selling the drinks.

You know, times are really tough.

-It's true.

Times are tough, yeah.

[ELEPHANT TRUMPET]

-I'm glad you're my friend, Zandy.

-Oh, that's a nice thing to say, David.

I'm glad you're my friend.

[ELEPHANT TRUMPET]

[SOFT JAZZ PLAYING]