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  • Hi

  • I'm Ryan Higa

  • and I am currently attending the University of College State

  • where I am majoring in Political Correctness

  • so you know that I know what I'm talking about.

  • I can tell you exactly what is considered offensive and what isn't.

  • I mean I've taken all the classes on political correctness such as

  • Facebook comments 101

  • Twitter trends 102

  • to Wikipedia

  • I've even taken an advance class on the subject called

  • reading news articles that other people write

  • to tell me how I should feel about controversial topics 205」.

  • With my vast knowledge on this subject.

  • I'm gonna be teaching you how to be the most politically correct you've ever been.

  • It was offending me.

  • Welcome to how to be politically correct.

  • For those of you what don't know what that means,

  • being politically correct, or PC,

  • Basically means to avoid offending people

  • Because we all know offending someone's feelings

  • is the worst thing a human being can do.

  • So let's get started

  • The first lesson in being PC is to avoid the trendy topics.

  • If an issue is trending on social media

  • Or talked about on the news

  • The chances are you should probably avoid that topic

  • Because all of a sudden everybody really cares about it now.

  • And no matter which side you pick

  • You're probably going to offend someone.

  • Here's an example of a trendy controversial topic

  • That you guys might remember.

  • Can you believe this?

  • What?

  • This is Starbucks's Christmas cup.

  • So?

  • So? There's no Christmas on the cup!

  • This is a blatant attack on my religion.

  • A blatant attack on Christianity!

  • Plus, the cup is red!

  • That's the same color as hell!

  • And the devil, and fire, and pimple's that aren't ready to be popped yet.

  • Well I think they're right for not putting Christmas on the cups.

  • What did you just say?

  • Well I'm not a Christian and if they did have Christmas designs on the cups then that infringing on my First Amendment Right of Freedom of Religion.

  • How dare you say something so un-American!

  • Un-American?

  • The vast majority of Americans - *Shouting match ensues*

  • Guys, guys, it's just a cup.

  • How dare you - *Shouting match continues*

  • See? It might seem like a silly petty argument,

  • But since it was trending in the news it's really important now.

  • If you really want to be PC, avoid the trendy topics.

  • This is what he should have said.

  • Guys, guys. It's just a-

  • Nevermind. No comment.

  • You know what, you're worse than both of us!

  • Yeah by keeping quiet, you're part of the problem! Yeah, you're not doing anything to help.

  • But this painting is so offensive I don't know why-

  • The next lesson in being PC is no more jokes.

  • Jokes are a thing of the past.

  • I mean, you might think that some jokes are not that bad, but in 2017, ALL JOKES ARE OFFENSIVE!

  • Hey, you want to hear this joke I just read?

  • Ok.

  • Ok, so three guys walk into the bar right?

  • Oh ho ho! So three GUYS, huh?

  • Didn't know you guys were against women's rights.

  • What?

  • Why do they have to be guys?

  • They don't.

  • Well then it's sexist. Why are there no women? Women go to bars too!

  • Yeah, I know.

  • Dude, it's just a joke.

  • Oh, it's just a joke? What, women aren't funny enough to be a part of your little joke?

  • Ok, fine! It doesn't really matter, ok?

  • Three WOMEN - Good! - walk into the bar in the middle of the day, right?.

  • *Laughs* The middle of the day, wow.

  • What is it now?

  • Now you're saying that all women are alcoholics ya bunch of misogynists!

  • Hey, why did the duck cross the road?

  • Why?

  • To prove he wasn't chicken. *Laughter*

  • Are you implying that all chickens are cowards?

  • Or that somehow ducks are above chickens in some way?

  • What?

  • Because ducks and chickens are equal, ok?

  • And people like you who support duck supremacy are part of the problem.

  • What are you talking about? I don't see how this is offensive.

  • Yeah, of course you don't.

  • You don't see it because you're a little privileged duck-boy who grew up in the safety of your little ranch.

  • So of course you're not afraid.

  • Chickens? Chickens, we grew up in fear.

  • We get drugs, GMO's forced into us at the mills.

  • We're forced to watch each other get slaughtered just for food?

  • Hey, ducks get eaten too.

  • Yeah, they do. But tell me, how often do you come across ducks eggs at the supermarket, huh?

  • How often do you pass by a fast food chain called KFD?

  • Yeah see, all birds lives do matter.

  • But right now, chicken lives, those are the lives that are in danger. And that's what's trending.

  • What do you call someone with no cell phone?

  • I don't know what?

  • A house phone, because with no cellphone, you gotta call them with a house phone.

  • As somebody who finds Jonah Hill's and Michael Cera's comedy inappropriate, I take offense to that joke.

  • What? They never even said this joke. How is this even related to either of them?

  • Cause it was Superbad.

  • And finally, for the last lesson in being PC is for you to know that everything is offensive.

  • If you don't think that something is offensive, chances are you're a bad person and you're not looking hard enough.

  • Here, let me make it easy for you. I'll give you some examples.

  • Now take a look at this X-Men poster. Does it offend you at all? Because if it doesn't, you hate women.

  • It's clearly showing a man choking a woman.

  • So that means YOU think its okay for men to choke women

  • Not to mention that the top of the board it says "only the strong will survive" implying that men are stronger than women

  • BUT thats not it. This poster isnt JUST sexist ITS RACIST

  • I mean why is the light skinned blue person choking the dark skinned blue person, and not the other way around?!

  • Take a look on the date at the bottom! Don't tell me its just a coincidence that they conspired the release date to be on 27th THE EXACT same day

  • That the race riots in East Saint Louis took place in 1917

  • AND as if that weren't enough, the title ITSELF is not just sexist! Its a hate crime!

  • I mean the title of the franchise is X-Men!

  • WHY not X-Women?!

  • I'll tell you why! Because X-Men Apocolypse is an attack on the LGBTQ community!

  • That's right.

  • X-MEN stands for transgender

  • They're X-MEN. They used to be men now they're women. So they're ex-men.

  • So when they say X-MEN apocalypse what they are really trying to say is it's the end of the world for the transgender community.

  • I will not stand for that! I will remain sitting! I will not...

  • Wait a second... May 27th? This is old news. Is this not trending anymore?

  • Eeeehh it's not big deal then. Next.

  • So in closing, I know there's a lot of things to remember so I'm going to simplify it and try to wrap everything up.

  • In order to be a truly politically correct person, avoid all of the trendy, controversial topics

  • Which basically means that if something is being talked about by somebody, somewhere about something,

  • You may not have an opinion about it. Because you're wrong. And it's going to offend someone.

  • You must also remember: no more jokes.

  • Jokes are a thing of the past. So remember to never laugh or to make anyone else laugh.

  • Because if you do that means you're laughing at the issues.

  • Issues like war and rape and racism.

  • So if you laugh, you're a racist war rapist!

  • And last but not least, and most importantly, everything is offensive.

  • It's not rocket science. If you don't want to offend others, it's simple.

  • Don't have opinions, don't take any action, don't walk, talk, move, wear or share anything you're thinking about.

  • Especially if it's about an issue, and everything is an issue.

  • And, at the same time, keep in mind that with all of these issues if you don't speak up and take action...

  • You guys are part of the problem.

  • So stop having opinions, stop taking action, and step up and do something and take action!

  • *TEEHEE*

  • Greg: Cut! Cut. What? G: No no no it's not you. The video is great, the message is clear, it's just we're missing something.

  • I don't think we're going to get the views this way...

  • Unless ... *simultaneous gasp*

  • Hi. I'm Ryan Higa. And I'm...

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B1 中級

政治的に正しくなる方法! (How to be Politically Correct!)

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    g2 に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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