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  • So I remember watching the movie The Pursuit of Happyness

  • a long long time ago, and I just thought it was so beautiful.

  • I couldn't stop crying. I was so amazed.

  • And then a few months ago, my girlfriend and I wanted to watch a movie

  • and we decided that's what we were going to watch.

  • And this time, I thought it was the dumbest thing I had ever

  • seen and yet another stupid lesson from Hollywood.

  • And this is a really famous movie, but just in case you haven't seen it,

  • let me recap it for you...

  • So this guy's really poor and going through all this adversity,

  • but he has a chance of one day becoming a stockbroker.

  • And the entire movie basically shows him constantly worried,

  • constantly stressed, constantly pissed off and negative,

  • constantly yelling and getting into fights with his wife,

  • BUT one day he might become a stockbroker and finally attain happiness.

  • I guess Hollywood's version of happiness is one day being a stockbroker.

  • And at the end of the movie, of course he gets the job,

  • and he has now successfully pursued and attained happiness.

  • Now, there are so many things wrong with that, but let's start with this one...

  • It's weird that someone would even try to pursue happiness,

  • because happiness cannot be pursued. It's not like a degree that you pursue for

  • 4 years and then you finally get it

  • and can keep it for the rest of your life. It's more like a birth certificate that just

  • comes with you. It's in your house, you just have to find

  • it. It doesn't depend on how big or small your

  • house, it's in there.

  • So my first favorite idea from the book is, Happiness cannot be pursued.

  • And to keep this from getting esoteric, let me tell you a story.

  • So I remember when I was about 7 or 8 my parents left me with my grandma

  • and we never really had food at home. And I don't mean that in the western sense

  • of there's nothing that I like in the fridge.

  • No it was like, there's nothing in the fridge that can be

  • consumed as calories. And my grandma's only source of income was

  • her pension. And I remember it was 13 Lari

  • which is about $6 or $7, and sometimes they wouldn't even bring her

  • that.

  • Now, there was also a little bakery at the end of the street.

  • And they had this little pastry that I really really liked.

  • And it cost 20 Tetri which is about 10 cents. But most of the time,

  • I didn't have money to go buy it. So I was out on the street a lot with other

  • kids, and I soon figured out that there was this

  • lemonade store. And they'd give you 5 tetri if you brought

  • them an empty lemonade bottle.

  • And I remember I'd wake up every day and I would go looking for bottles on the

  • streets. Now it was pretty hard to find those bottles,

  • but if I found four bottles that would mean I could

  • bring them to the lemonade store and get 20 Tetri for them.

  • And I remember how I was just the happiest kid alive.

  • Every time I found a bottle, it was like the happiest moment of my life.

  • Every time I went to the lemonade store and collected my 20 Tetri,

  • it was an unbelievable feeling. And finally I would go to the little pastry

  • store, and I would buy my little 20 Tetri pastry.

  • And I would sit out on the side walk and just enjoy it.

  • And it was supposed to have raisins in it, but since it was so cheap,

  • they only put a few of them in there. And I remember the occasional raisin bite

  • and how I felt like the happiest kid alive.

  • Now contrast that to today... There have been times where I'm eating a $100

  • steak and I'm pissed off and unhappy

  • because I ordered a medium well but this looks more like a medium.

  • My night is now officially ruined guys. I'm going to be negative for the rest of the

  • night.

  • Now, I'm not here to tell you that the stale, bland, 10 cent pastry is better

  • than a $100 steak.

  • I have a preference for the steak. There's nothing wrong with improving your

  • life and being able to experience more.

  • But that's all it is. Just the ability to experience more.

  • What I will guarantee you is that you either cultivate the ability to be happy

  • and are able to be completely happy where you are right now.

  • Or, I promise you there's absolutely nothing around you

  • that you can chase to attain happiness. Going from a 10 cent pastry to a $100 steak

  • is like going from having to take the bus to owning a Ferrari.

  • Now I'm going to say this again. Yes, it's okay if your preference is driving

  • a Ferrari over taking the bus.

  • But remember, all that does is just let you experience more.

  • That's it. So you're either happy on the bus right now

  • just like you'll be happy when you have the Ferrari.

  • Or you aren't happy on the bus right now and you won't be happy in the Ferrari.

  • And you know, I look at my life right now, which is really really good.

  • But I also think of what it's going to be like in 5 years.

  • And in 5 years, the quality of my life is going to be

  • a hundred times better than what it is right now.

  • It'll literally be like going from the 10 cent pastry

  • to a $100 steak all over again. But I have to keep reminding myself that

  • I'm either going to be completely happy with that pastry right now

  • just as I'll be completely happy with the $100 steak in five years.

  • Or, I'm not going to be happy right now, and I'm not going to be happy in five years.

  • My second favorite idea is that there's a stimulus,

  • which is what happens to you, which you can't control.

  • And then there's a response, which is what you do about it,

  • which you have full control over. But we treat the response like we have no

  • control over it. It's just completely automatic for most people.

  • Something bad happens to you, you automatically get pissed off.

  • But the reality is, you don't have to.

  • You have complete control over it. Doesn't matter what kind of stimulus you're

  • presented with, no one can ever take away the ability

  • for you to choose whatever response you like.

  • So let's say you're in the kitchen, and you break a bunch of new plates that you

  • just bought. Now what's the automatic, natural reaction?

  • Getting pissed off, right? You have to clean it up now.

  • Plus you broke a bunch of plates that you just bought.

  • Or, what could be your other response? Cool, it's just a bunch of plates.

  • It's not a big deal. It's actually great because it's giving me

  • an opportunity to not get pissed off by the stupidest little

  • things. Like, you can have gratitude for breaking

  • the plates and having the opportunity to practice your

  • virtue. Remember you can pick whatever response you

  • like. It's all up to you.

  • Someone puts you down? Great!

  • You're one step closer to not caring about what people think of you.

  • Or, you can go home and cry about it. It's all up to you.

  • All the kids I grew up with, including myself, went through a lot of adversity.

  • You know what happened to most of them? They turned into alcoholics and drug addicts.

  • You know what their excuse is? "I had to see my dad beat my mom.

  • My parents never had time to take care of me.

  • I was so poor, I had no opportunity." You know what my reason is for the very humble

  • accomplishments I have at 22-years-old? The exact same thing.

  • There's no way most people are going to have the same work ethic as me.

  • Most people don't know what it's like to be 7

  • and out on the street collecting dirty bottles, so you can feed yourself.

  • They just won't be able to compete with me, I'm sorry.

  • And I'm so thankful for every bullshit experience I've had,

  • and I wouldn't change a single thing if I could.

  • Remember that... There's a stimulus which you can't control,

  • but the response is all up to you. Step in between that gap and realize

  • that everything can be taken away from you but one remaining thing,

  • and that is the freedom to choose.

So I remember watching the movie The Pursuit of Happyness

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    kelven に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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