Is this some sort of trick question

that ends with you yelling at me about

the gender binary?

Not this time.

Oh! Well then I am a girl;

trying to become a woman.

And you're straight.

We've been through this!

I tried to fantasize about you in that way

and it just didn't work for me.

I've been texting.

No. If that is straight-girl tease Megan

you need to put a dollar in this jar.

(People Gaby shouldn't text)

It is straight-girl tease Megan,

but she initiated Allison! She wanted to

tell me that I would look good in KStew's

haircut, ok? Why would she be texting me

about a lesbian goddess sent from gay

heaven to terrorize men's hearts

and put fire in women's loins if she

wasn't gay!?

I don't really understand why everyone is

so obsessed with Kristen Stewart,

I mean I like her-

This is proof Megan is gay!

YOU THINK EVERYBODY IS GAY!

You have an entire powerpoint presentation

about why George Clooney is bisexual!

That man loves the Italian Riviera more

than any straight guy could.

(Noises of forfeit)

Thank you.

Tim. Last night. I deleted his number again.

(Sighs) This girl has been teasing you for

months. I can't tell if she's nice let

alone gay. She's into me okay?

Women are just more subtle.

Yeah, you're extremely subtle Gaby.

Not me! Other women.

Look, look, look,

I asked her if she wanted to come

bra shopping with us and she said she had

enough "tools of the patriarchy."

That just means she majored in something

that doesn't make any money. Not that

she's into women.

She asked if I'd seen the new Tegan and Sara.

Oh I love Tegan and Sara, and I also can't

look at my own vagina without squealing.

But Megan has three cats and she's

constantly posting them on Instagram!

Gaby, aren't you the one who rails

against stereotypes? How can you possibly

assume this woman is queer based on such

shallow aspects of her personality?

You should only be concerned with who she

really is as a person instead of trying

to uncover the mystery of her sexuality,

which isn't your business

in the first place!

Wow. You're right. I'm gonna ask her to

dinner and get to know her as a person.

You've out-Gabyed the Gaby.

My thoughts are no longer my own.

Ooo! She wants to get tacos.

You guys are DEFINITELY gonna fuck.

Because tacos means vagina.

Ok.

That's the correct-that's the lingo.

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